Man in ladies toilets

[Beansprout30]

Twice now I have been in the ladies toilets and there has been a male in there. First time I walked in with my three year old daughter and there was a guy washing his hands just leaving. I just ignored him and carried on but felt very uncomfortable. Second time was yesterday, came out of the cubicle and a man and his female partner, plus young child (not a newborn baby) were changing child’s nappy. At the time I thought what the heck, mum obviously needs a hand, but now I think why didn’t they just use the single disabled/baby change toilet. Why did he need to come into the ladies?
Is this becoming normal?! And aibu to ask how you would have reacted to males being in the ladies public toilets?

At my university here in Canada, mixed gender washrooms are the norm. I don't like it but it's apparently legal.

For those saying it wouldn’t bother you that a dad was in the ladies helping his partner do the nappy change, would you draw a line somewhere? Would you be happy for a guy on his own to be in there?

I think if it’s clear toilets or changing rooms are unisex, I wouldn’t feel comfortable but at least I would know that how it is, but if it’s ladies only then I don’t want a man whatever his reason, being in there. I’m quite outspoken but on both occasions I didn’t feel comfortable enough to say anything.

@NotherOp all of our local shopping centres have a family bathroom. It's usually in the baby change area and has an adult and toddler sized toilet.

@Beansprout30 I think I'd be ok with a man being in there changing a nappy if the most suitable facilities were in the ladies toilets.

But then I haven't had the same experiences as people who've posted here with regards to men in women's spaces so I can 100% understand why so many women wouldn't be ok with that.

YANBU.

(As most of us know) no normal, decent man actually wants to use the ladies toilets. So the appropriate reaction should be THREAT LEVEL ONE.

@56Marshmallow there's such entitlement. I can't think what else it would be be because I don't think it's malice, although maybe I'm wrong. I see it with my DH. He doesn't mean to do things like that (not that he uses the Ladies!), but because he often just doesn't think about things because he's never had to. So he could end up doing that and simply not notice because it makes no significant difference who is around him when he gets changed, although he'd prefer men.

I visited a friend living in Cairo once and we took the metro. There was a women's carriage which we went in. At one of the stops some lads got into our carriage for a dare or something and they got yelled at by some of the women - I mean full on screaming at them - and they ran out at the next stop! They were cocksure for about 10 seconds of that joyrney!

On the way home, a guy I guess about 30, got in the carriage absentmindedly just before the doors shut. He looked up and there was a look of HORROR on his face when he realised where he was! He said something I didn't understand, but he seemed rather apologetic and certainly very awkward then he turned around and faced the door almost pressing himself into it!. Nobody shouted at him (maybe a few sighs or tuts or something!) and he got out at the next station.

According to the law, there are no actual gendered toilets just able bodied and non able bodied toilets. There have been many issues over the years ie more places now offer family spaces with changing facilities as well as some women complaining over the presence of male cleaners in the toilets- which is why they now put up notices warning you that they have male/ female janitors.
Each company may act differently when potentially confronted with a situation however the law says what it says.

There’s a man where i work who uses the women’s toilets. He wears a skirt so HR says it’s ok. 🤷‍♀️

I suspect the equality act says otherwise but HR says he can use whichever toilet he wants.

It happened to me twice in one weekend when I was at the British grand Prix this year.
First time was two men and (at a guess) a teenager who couldn't be bothered to find the men's (which was right next door 🙄) so just, knowingly, went into the women's. That time I felt v uncomfortable and didn't come out of my cubicle until they left. Sounds ridiculous typing that now, but at the time, I seriously felt uncomfortable in the small space (was one of those mobile loos)
Second time was a complete mistake and the man was walking out, as I was walking in and was v embarrassed 🙈

Finding a man in a women's toilet would really upset me. I dread seeing this. But think I have to get used to the idea the way things are going. I will most likely end up avoiding public loos all together unless absolute emergency.

What is awful about this is that women who feel upset and intimidated wouldn’t say anything! So we are intimidated ina women’s toilet by men who say they are women.

Posted by mistake.This world is absolutely crazy.

According to the law, there are no actual gendered toilets just able bodied and non able bodied toilets

You are utterly, utterly wrong. The Equality Act 2010 provides protection for single sex spaces (toilets, changing rooms etc).

Madness -
Real men know that the ladies is a private space for WOMEN ONLY.
it is so sad to see men access such places, often fetish related, with "trans" used as a cover.
WAKE UP UK...... enough is enough.