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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not sending dd to school..

157 replies

ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 09:53

My dd is 5, on Monday night and all day tuesday she had diarrhoea all day, on Tuesday evening she was also sick, just the once though. Yesterday she was OK but a bit under the weather, no sickness or diarrhoea though.

Today I made the decision not to send her school, apart from the fact they have a 48 hour policy, she was awake a few times in the night with a tummy ache.

My partner is cross with me for not sending her to school. I've explained the policy and the tummy aches etc but he still thinks she should have gone in. I feel like I've done something wrong now when I'm only trying to do the right thing.

Also a lot of schools are shutting for deep cleans and due to staff and teachers having norovirus around here and I wouldn't want to spread anything else unnecessarily.

Am I really being unreasonable for not sending her in today? Sad

OP posts:
Gatehouse77 · 12/12/2019 09:56

I strongly believe that when you've been poorly you need a day at home feeling well to actually rest and be ready so I agree with you.

laudete · 12/12/2019 09:57

Most schools have a 24 or 48 hours policy for D&V. It is the complete time period from the last incident of D&V. So, 48 hours from the vomit incident on Tuesday evening will take you up to Thursday evening ie tonight. YANBU. Hope your daughter feels much better when she returns to school tomorrow. x

Sannapaws · 12/12/2019 09:58

She's only little, let her rest at home and feel well for Christmas. What's she missing in school at 5?? There are a lot of countries who don't even put their 5 year olds in school!

Selfsettling3 · 12/12/2019 09:58

If should knows she has been off with D and V and not been well for 48 hours then she will be sent home.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 12/12/2019 09:59

You were right not to send her.
I hope DP catches it so you can tell him he's lazy for not going to work.

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 10:00

Thank you, I really started to doubt myself about it. He still doesn't agree with me.

OP posts:
halcyondays · 12/12/2019 10:01

Yanbu, of course you should stick to the 48 hour rule , it’s really selfish not to, and if she was still having tummy aches last night she’s still not completely well and resting at home for the day will do her good.

Confrontayshunme · 12/12/2019 10:02

I work in a school office, and the number of kids who are in school because "they've only been sick because of coughing" then have to go home after spraying the toilets or classrooms with poo and vomit is HIGH. Keep her home and save yourself a trip. We actually ran out of spare clothes for sick kids/accidents this week (and year 3-6 so not small ones). The parents are worried they'll miss work or kids will miss making snowflakes or something, and everyone else is forced to suffer with it.

phoenixrosehere · 12/12/2019 10:03

Yanbu.

It isn’t just about your child but the rest of the class as well if she is still unwell. What is your partner’s reasoning and ask him why he is willing to take a chance of her passing it on to other children and also getting it again.

UndertheCedartree · 12/12/2019 10:03

You are correct not to send her. Hope she feels completely well soon - we've had it too.

Ravenrob · 12/12/2019 10:05

YANBU. The 48 hour rule is important and she needs some time to recover. Bet she's exhausted.

BillywigSting · 12/12/2019 10:06

Yanbu and your partner is being a tit.

1Micem0use · 12/12/2019 10:06

Former teacher here. Thank you! It's good parenting and considerate of others not to send a poorly and contagious child into school

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 12/12/2019 10:06

Sick kids belong at home to recover.

bobstersmum · 12/12/2019 10:07

My 5 year old ds is strong as a horse but has this the weekend before last. It absolutely zapped him, he didn't move off the sofa for two days following and I absolutely kept him off!

00100001 · 12/12/2019 10:09

Why does he think she is well enough to go to school when she had tummy ache through the night? Confused

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 10:09

Thanks everyone, and thanks to all of you that's voted as well. It means a lot that you all agree that I have actually done the right thing..

OP posts:
RightOnTheEdge · 12/12/2019 10:10

YANBU! Why does he think she should be in school?
What reason would he have for wanting his poorly little dd to be sent to school?
I hope he is not normally so unkind.

Hopefully you keeping her off will protect other children from getting her bug.

00100001 · 12/12/2019 10:14

...who voted "YABU"??? HmmConfused

TotalRecall · 12/12/2019 10:15

Why does he think she should be in school?! She’s 5, not sitting important exams. Would she miss some finger painting? Confused

The 48 hour policy is there for a reason.

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 10:15

I don't know what the reason is. I've sent him a link to this post but I don't know if he'll read it

OP posts:
Butterfly02 · 12/12/2019 10:17

You did the right thing not only for your dc but the rest of the children and staff. Some of those in school will have a lower immune system meaning d&v could cause a hospital admission or worse.
I'd be tempted to keep dc off till Monday this close to Christmas they're probably not doing as much academically and therefore even less to miss. By next week dc will have fully rested and be able to enjoy the last week at school and all the festivities.

Chottie · 12/12/2019 10:30

OP - thank you for being a caring and responsible parent. You are doing the right thing.

OlaEliza · 12/12/2019 10:35

Is he her dad?

Is he out at work? If so, wtf has it got to do with him?

pencilpot99 · 12/12/2019 10:35

OP you have done the right thing. I would be tempted to keep her home for the rest of the week if you can. Send her back next week, fully recovered and rested. This is the message that we were sent from our school yesterday:

The peak of the cold and flu season is upon us. With pupils and teachers already exposed to widespread illness in the school, we recommend that your child stay home from school if experiencing flu or cold symptoms.

Children are continuing to be sent to school despite concerning symptoms. This is having a serious impact on both children and staff at the school.

To decide whether or not to send your child to school, please consider the following guidelines:

Definitely keep your child at home for treatment and observation if he or she has any of these symptoms:

Fever (greater than 37.5 degrees Celsius and your child may return to school only after his or her temperature has been consistently below 37.5 degrees, by mouth, for a minimum of 24 hours)
Vomiting (even once)
Diarrhea
Chills
General malaise or feelings of fatigue, discomfort, weakness or muscle aches
Frequent congested (wet) or croupy cough
Lots of nasal congestion with frequent blowing of nose

To help prevent the flu and other colds, teach your children good hygiene habits:

Wash hands frequently
Do not touch eyes, nose or mouth
Cover mouth and nose when sneezing or coughing, use a paper tissue, throw it away and then wash hands
Avoid close contact with people who are sick.

Colds are the most contagious during the first 48 hours. A child who has a fever should remain at home until "fever free" for a minimum of 24 hours. A child who has started antibiotics needs to be on the medication for 48 hours before considered non-contagious and able to return to school. Often when a child awakens with vague complaints (the way colds an flu begin) it is wise to observe your child at home for an hour or two before deciding whether or not to bring to school. Your child should be physically able to participate in all school activities on return to school. Keeping a sick child at home will minimise the spread of infections and viruses in the classroom.