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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not sending dd to school..

157 replies

ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 09:53

My dd is 5, on Monday night and all day tuesday she had diarrhoea all day, on Tuesday evening she was also sick, just the once though. Yesterday she was OK but a bit under the weather, no sickness or diarrhoea though.

Today I made the decision not to send her school, apart from the fact they have a 48 hour policy, she was awake a few times in the night with a tummy ache.

My partner is cross with me for not sending her to school. I've explained the policy and the tummy aches etc but he still thinks she should have gone in. I feel like I've done something wrong now when I'm only trying to do the right thing.

Also a lot of schools are shutting for deep cleans and due to staff and teachers having norovirus around here and I wouldn't want to spread anything else unnecessarily.

Am I really being unreasonable for not sending her in today? Sad

OP posts:
Softskin88 · 12/12/2019 12:01

Norovirus is evil and spreads like wildfire at this time of year. When one family member gets it you all get it. We’ve had it and it’s explosive for all concerned.

I actually went out and bought Pull-ups even though DD6 was out of them at night recently just to protect the bed and furniture. She didn’t mind wearing them again.

I’d recommend them for this type of situation. Never thought I’d buy them again, but they were a lifesaver.

Softskin88 · 12/12/2019 12:02

Keep her off. No question!

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 12:05

It caught me off guard a bit because usually its dp saying she should be at home (with a cold /tired etc) and me saying she's fine she can go to nursery / school.

I'm not a soft touch when it comes to school, I want her to be there.

It upset me having defend myself about it this morning but like we've all said, the school have a policy, if I'd have sent her in they'd have sent her home and I'd have got told off for sending her in anyway. I'm just doing what the school have said. If he wants to 'disagree and have his opinions" about it then fine, so be it. I'm not irresponsible or lazy or a soft touch for not having her go into school today.

After all 300+ people aren't wrong!

OP posts:
OlaEliza · 12/12/2019 12:05

He's entitled to his opinion

She's still a bit ill with stomach aches.

Is he her father op? How does he treat her the rest of the time?

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 12:06

She went through 10 - 12nappies on Tuesday...

OP posts:
ActualHornist · 12/12/2019 12:07

YANBU.

She’s 5. It’s nearly Christmas. She’s been ill. It’s policy.

I don’t understand why he’s getting his knickers in a twist about it.

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 12:09

Is he her father op? How does he treat her the rest of the time?

He loves her and he is a good dad. He just sees her as being well today and thinks she should be in school. I mean technically she is OK, but it's the 48 hour thing. It's more about us being at loggerheads than his treatment of our dd.

OP posts:
NaomiFromMilkShake · 12/12/2019 12:10

My son was off for the regulatory 48 hours when he was little, I took him into school, thinking he looked fine and he was presenting as fine (he did look fine by comparison to how he had looked) we bumped into the HT in the corridor and he took one look at him and he said ( in a voice that brooked no argumentGrin there is something going through that child, take him home before it goes through my school. He was right, within twenty fours hours DS was flattened again and was truly unwell for a further four days.

The rule is there for a reason.

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 12/12/2019 12:22

Mmm yeah this is a red herring of similar behaviour from your P

Willow2017 · 12/12/2019 12:24

I have no idea. "He's entitled to his opinion"
Yep but that's all it is. It's not up to him to go against the school rules and Infect all the other kids. That's not his decision to make. He can have all the opinions he wants doesnt mean diddly squat in this case.

Oh and nor is it ok to make your dd go in when she probably isn't 100% better yet.

chinateapot · 12/12/2019 12:29

My daughter is on chemo but desperate to get to school and see her class whenever she can. Thank you from me for sticking to the correct advice given by your school and public health England - if there’s a child like my daughter in your child’s school your decision could make a huge difference to them Flowers

thehorseandhisboy · 12/12/2019 12:39

Yes, you're right to keep her off.

Several schools round here have been closed because of the extent of norovirus.

She needs to rest and you need to feel confident that she is fully recovered.

Warmfirechocolate · 12/12/2019 12:42

He's entitled to his opinion doesn’t mean that he’s right.

Health isn’t a matter of opinion. Thank goodness in the 21st century. It’s well researched evidence.

LOALM · 12/12/2019 12:47

You have absolutely done the right thing. You would feel awful if she spread it to others; it's just not worth the risk. And as PP have said, she will need time to simply rest before feeling up to going back.
My DS is immunosuppressed and in Yr R at school, and I rely on parents following the 24/48hr rules to protect him as much as possible - so thank you for being sensible.
At this time of year it's all Xmas films etc anyway - particularly at her age. Hope she's back to full health very soon!

Laiste · 12/12/2019 12:51

Schools are absolutely right to ask that kids stay away for 48 hours after symptoms are gone.

HOWEVER i wish they'd stop with the mindless attendance warnings. So bloody annoying when you're doing exactly what they ask to then get snotty letters in the book bag about % of attendance. Mine's 5 as well.

MrsWhites · 12/12/2019 12:57

Your partner is being a tit! If a child isn’t well (which she clearly isn’t if she was up in the night) then she should be at home. They have the 48hr policy for a reason!

If my child isn’t well, they don’t go to school, end of! It’s irrelevant what her previous attendance is too, sick children shouldn’t be at school.

You did the right thing, he’s entitled to his opinion but his opinion is wrong and you shouldn’t let him make you doubt a good parenting decision!!

22Giraffes · 12/12/2019 13:02

You absolutly made the right choice, hope your dd is feeling better soon Bear

Londongirl86 · 12/12/2019 13:04

The teachers will be thankful to you for keeping her home. She's five years old. She may end up having an accident if she goes back to school this week. She also needs to build her strength up. I don't think 48 hours is always enough anyway. My DD has had a few in her life. She can be sick all Monday night. Sick on the Tuesday once in the nice then two days later she vomits again. She takes ages to tolerate dairy again after a bug too. Men don't always understand if they don't think in depth about it all. Where as we can be more in tune. You don't want a call to say she's had an accident or vomited on the floor. Xx

Maryann1975 · 12/12/2019 13:09

If it were me, I’d probably be keeping her off tomorrow too. The majority of the children I know (which is a lot) are exhausted, full of coughs/colds/other viruses and are completely ready for the Christmas holidays. Their little bodies are so tired from trying to fight off all these bugs and it makes me so sad to see them being sent to school day after day with no hope of recovering from what they have before the next thing hits them. An extra day off to make sure she is fully better and hopefully next week, her body will be in a far better position to fight off anything else lurking amongst her peers and you can have a germ fee Christmas.

Whilst I appreciate that learning is still going on in schools, if children, especially little ones are not 100% how much are they actually learning?

MonChatEstMagnifique · 12/12/2019 13:09

As everyone else has said, you’re absolutely right to keep her off. She needs to recover and hopefully it will save spreading it to some other poor family for Christmas.

I hope she’s feeling much better soon.

Londongirl86 · 12/12/2019 13:10

@Confrontayshunme I just wondered what your views are on attendance targets? I bet the teachers feel they are set too high. My child's been off 4.5 days since September and they like kids above 95% for the whole year. So she's only technically got 5 more days and the rest of winter to go. I think this is one of the fears parents have.

I agree so much with you though. mine has had a day here and there for bad coughs because I don't want her to be sick on the Floor. It's awful for the children too isn't it. Poor things. If people followed the rules stomach bugs would spread less.

Nanny0gg · 12/12/2019 13:11

Unless she's missing something I wouldn't send her in on Friday either.
Let her recover. That bug was nasty

Rosebel · 12/12/2019 13:13

I'm glad you kept her off. I get so cross when parents send their sick children to school. Our school is only 24 hours but I always keep them off for 48 hours as I think they need an extra days rest.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 12/12/2019 13:16

If all opinions were equally valid, we'd be in big trouble.

1forAll74 · 12/12/2019 13:17

Definitely no school for your young daughter, she will need time to recover now. She will be happier being comfortable at home, and you will feel happier too. Never mind what your Cross partner says !