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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not sending dd to school..

157 replies

ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 09:53

My dd is 5, on Monday night and all day tuesday she had diarrhoea all day, on Tuesday evening she was also sick, just the once though. Yesterday she was OK but a bit under the weather, no sickness or diarrhoea though.

Today I made the decision not to send her school, apart from the fact they have a 48 hour policy, she was awake a few times in the night with a tummy ache.

My partner is cross with me for not sending her to school. I've explained the policy and the tummy aches etc but he still thinks she should have gone in. I feel like I've done something wrong now when I'm only trying to do the right thing.

Also a lot of schools are shutting for deep cleans and due to staff and teachers having norovirus around here and I wouldn't want to spread anything else unnecessarily.

Am I really being unreasonable for not sending her in today? Sad

OP posts:
AG29 · 12/12/2019 13:19

They need to stay off for at least 48 hours after symptoms stop and sometimes it can be even longer if they still aren’t feeling great. Last time I had the bug I was wiped out for a week!

You did the right thing!

soupforbrains · 12/12/2019 13:27

This is the most comprehensive vote result I've ever seen on MN.

Mrshue · 12/12/2019 13:31

Absolutely right thing to do. I’m having chemo and parents sending their kids to school sick could kill me and the others I come into contact with I when I go in for treatment. It’s not worth someone’s life. Sounds dramatic. But it is exactly that for some people.

RedWineIsFabulous · 12/12/2019 13:36

Absolutely the right thing to do.

Wish there were more parents like you

This is why these things are rife. So many don't care and it's totally selfish parenting.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 12/12/2019 13:36

YANBU
I would keep her home tomorrow too if it were me.

Topsy44 · 12/12/2019 13:42

You have absolutely done the right thing. That sickness bug is going around like wildfire. I've just had to pick my DD up from school as she has been sick, she won't be going in tomorrow and we will be having a very restful weekend not seeing anyone!

Equanimitas · 12/12/2019 13:43

He can have whatever opinion he wants, it doesn't mean that he should be telling you that you're wrong for refusing to break a perfectly sensible school rule.

Confrontayshunme · 12/12/2019 13:50

@Londongirl86

I have only worked in a school a few months, but we NEVER keep sick kids at school. Even the kids with attendance problems stay home and have authorised absences for stomach bugs, and that is from the local authority not us.

That said, there are a few kids who are fine, but their parents have kept them home most of the last month because they have runny noses and coughs. That is scary for them, bad for their education and they are under care from the LA because their parents make poor decisions for them.

The two situations are very different and everyone in school attendance and safeguarding seems to be required to understand the difference.

Brunts12 · 12/12/2019 13:51

You’ve done absolutely the right thing! While your partner is being a dick even questioning it!!
My little boy had, by the sound of it, the same virus from Friday. Thankfully he is better now, but I’ve caught it and it kicked in today. Let me tell you, this nasty norovirus seriously takes over your guts!! Sad

steff13 · 12/12/2019 13:51

I'd keep her home tomorrow, too.

poppy1973 · 12/12/2019 14:00

She is 5, she isn't going to miss a great of school. If she is poorly then the school will not want her back in, spreading the illness around. You have made the right decision.

Original poster
ArthurMorgan · 12/12/2019 14:03

I can't believe the amount of posts / votes on this thread... Thank you everyone Xmas Smile

OP posts:
JoGose · 12/12/2019 14:05

YANBU, she needs time to recover

diddl · 12/12/2019 14:05

So she definitely needed yesterday & today off, at 5 I might be tempted to keep off tomorrow as well!

diddl · 12/12/2019 14:07

I had a recent bout of D&V.

It was 2 days before I dare eat much let alone leave the house!

ellalina · 12/12/2019 14:08

She’s so little, please give her tomorrow off as well. That, plus the weekend, plenty of fluids and cuddle time with her mum and she’ll be bouncing off the walls in no time.

diddl · 12/12/2019 14:09

I wonder why anyone thinks that Op IBU by abiding by the school policy?

NewName54321 · 12/12/2019 14:22

OP, your partner shouldn’t be questioning this and making you feel like you are making the wrong decision or done something wrong when you are putting your child's health first, even if it goes against "his opinion".

You have carefully avoided saying he is her father but, whether he is or isn't, what he said was significant enough for you to create a post about, so please make sure you are also making good decisions about who you are sharing your and her lives with.

Molly2016 · 12/12/2019 14:35

My DD went to a party on Saturday with 40 children. Saturday night she vomited. I thought too many sweets, too much excitement but then she vomited Sunday night too. At that point I thought bug and kept her off Monday and Tuesday to adhere to the 48hour rule. It meant she missed the class nativity play. She was devastated and I was too if I’m honest. She’s reception so it was her first one.
Took her back yesterday and her teacher thanked me for keeping her off as she’s going on holiday today (long haul flight) and unbeknownst to me a load of the kids have been off with a bug.
It feels like a hard decision at the time, especially when they appear well as my DD did, but it the right decision.

Lizzie0869 · 12/12/2019 14:53

Clearly your partner isn't able to admit to ever being wrong. Hmm

LemonPrism · 12/12/2019 14:58

Really? What's a 5 year old going to learn in one day that is more important than getting back to full health and not making other small children sick?

Purplerain1985 · 13/12/2019 17:40

I say bloody well done you! It really irritates me how bugs are spread with parents not following the 48 hour policy.Your partner is being petty and obviously doesn’t get it,my sons school are pretty strict on this.Yanbu at all Crown Smile

Shell4429 · 13/12/2019 17:47

Your partner is a dick.

Rabstar · 13/12/2019 17:57

What an idiot your husband is.

48 hour policy (counted from the last ‘activity,)is not just a school policy, is is standard for most workplaces, certainly the food industry which I work in (my role is in food safety). Ask how he would feel to eat food in a restaurant prepared by chef who was puking or passing diarrhoea 24 hours earlier. Attitudes like his are why so many of us end up picking up bugs and illnesses and the consequent pressure it puts on families or workplaces when everyone else has to pick up the slack for someone else stupidity and selfishness. This is aside from the fact that as a father, why would he not want his own child to have sufficient recovery time to rebuild her energy etc, she certainly doesn’t have the pressure of a boss at work or earning a crust to influence a decision to return early , she is a child and there is no reason for her not to be allowed recovery time, it is not a luxury or a treat! Grrr...

Size5s · 13/12/2019 18:01

I bet that if it was him poorly he'd have called an ambulance, had you and his mother waiting with cold compresses and taken the week off. You are mum, you know best!