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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dad didn't give 1year old dinner

145 replies

Kirstycirvine2 · 07/12/2019 21:30

DD was left with dad and grandparents from 2 til 7 and with a list of DD schedule. When I came back dad had not given DD any dinner and told me she'd had nothing except 150ml cow's milk. I told dad I was seriously disappointed. AIBU? He is now crushed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kirstycirvine2 · 07/12/2019 21:32

Should dad have given DD dinner even though she was happy playing then fell asleep.

OP posts:
cheesydoesit · 07/12/2019 21:32

How old is DD? Why is he crushed? At least he might feed her next time.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 07/12/2019 21:33

At 1 it's not much dinner really,is it?

SmallAndFarAway · 07/12/2019 21:34

How old is she and does he not spend any time with her so he knows what her routine is without having it written down?

SmallAndFarAway · 07/12/2019 21:35

Sorry, see she's one so surely she's been eating for six months, has he not noticed that?

cheesydoesit · 07/12/2019 21:35

You didn't say she was asleep! It was only 5 hours, how does she seem? Did you feed her just before she was dropped off? How is he as a parent usually?

In isolation and with your added info, no it doesn't seem awful to me. Did he agree to take a look at the schedule you left? Does he have her often? This all effects my answer.

If he's usually negligent then HiBU, but you say she was playing happily then fell asleep so if it's a one off then HINBU. Context is key.

NerrSnerr · 07/12/2019 21:36

Did she fall asleep at her usual teatime? Why does her dad need a written down schedule? Surely she just needs her 3 meals and milk as required?

Heismyopendoor · 07/12/2019 21:36

Crushed? Maybe he should have realised his baby needs to eat.

Silencedwitness · 07/12/2019 21:36

If she’d fallen asleep I’d have left her. Its not the worst thing in the world if he’s otherwise a good and decent dad.

KnobJockey · 07/12/2019 21:37

Poor thing, only 5oz of milk and nothing else in 5 hours, bet she was hungry. Good thing dad's now upset, he might remember next time.

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/12/2019 21:38

How old is DD?

It’s literally in the title Hmm

Why is he crushed OP? Why were you seriously disappointed? Doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. She was playing then nodded off. No harm done.

Rollerbird · 07/12/2019 21:38

She was happy playing then fell asleep I would have assumed she would have not been happy if hungry. Its not the end of the world. Plus why does dad need a list to follow? Can't he make decisions about his dd?

needsomehelptoday · 07/12/2019 21:39

The toddler was with her dad or your dad?

SleepingStandingUp · 07/12/2019 21:39

Well what time did she sleep? What time does she normally go to bed?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 07/12/2019 21:39

5 hours isnt a long time. She had milk and was happy. Presumably if she was hungry she woukd have let them know

DecemberSnow · 07/12/2019 21:39

1 years old in 5 hours.

Ofcourse he should of given her dinner before she fell asleep

She will probably be awake early, hungry, he can wake up with her

champagneandfromage50 · 07/12/2019 21:40

Leave him being crushed. Sounds like an ass... Your DC has had 150mls of milk since 2? Poor wee thing

Greggers2017 · 07/12/2019 21:42

He's probably crushed due to your reaction.
A routine isn't everything.
She was having fun playing then fell asleep. It's really not the end of the world. Just feed her when she wakes up.
Poor baby, let her have fun with Daddy.
And those saying he should have fed her before she fell asleep, she was having fun playing. Daddy doesn't have her for long, let her enjoy this time.

cheesydoesit · 07/12/2019 21:43

Yeah Anne, I missed it then realised. Thanks for that though.

westeringhome · 07/12/2019 21:45

YANBU. Reminds me of when my boys were little. On one of the rare occasions my now Ex-H was looking after them, I got home and asked what they’d had for lunch. “A bag of crisps” being the reply. Apparently he’s asked them what they would like and they said crisps.

CoffeeDeprivation · 07/12/2019 21:45

You say she fell asleep, how long for and when? I think if she fell asleep at 5 and was if he was waiting for you to come back and do it yourself, I'd be disappointed too. I'm divided in this one. If your 1yo fell asleep at 5:00 and he left her sleep wondering whether he should wake her up or not, I'd cut him some slack.

I'd think 150ml is too little and I'd have expected him to feed some solids during the day, as baby biscuits, toast, banana, something. My baby ate when we ate from what we ate, then had milk and snacks at other times. Whilst we didn't enforce a schedule, he would naturally eat something every two to three hours, so I'd have expected mine to have something before you left ar around 12, then a snack at 3:30 and dinner between 5:30-6 (that was when we all sat down for tea), maybe some milk at 7:30-8pm before bed. So if I were in your place, mine would have missed their big snack and tea. If your husband ate, how could he not think that your 1yo needed food too?

melissasummerfield · 07/12/2019 21:46

Yabu for tolerating your dh needing a written schedule to look after his own child Confused

Caterina99 · 07/12/2019 21:47

He’s crushed? Did he not realize she needs fed, or didn’t read the “schedule”? And the grandparents too?

I’d be annoyed too. Mostly because if mine didn’t eat enough then they’d wake up in the night hungry. And guess who’s problem that usually was?

However at that age (assuming she’s just 1 and not close to 2) then skipping a meal wouldn’t be a huge deal, I’d just give extra milk before bed, maybe some weetabix or porridge or a banana?

CactusAndCacti · 07/12/2019 21:49

Not something I would have got worked up about, not ideal but not absolutely dreadful either.

MrsBricks · 07/12/2019 21:49

Of course he should have fed her. He should be crushed, what kind of dad forgets his child needs to eat?

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