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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dad didn't give 1year old dinner

145 replies

Kirstycirvine2 · 07/12/2019 21:30

DD was left with dad and grandparents from 2 til 7 and with a list of DD schedule. When I came back dad had not given DD any dinner and told me she'd had nothing except 150ml cow's milk. I told dad I was seriously disappointed. AIBU? He is now crushed.

OP posts:
Newmumma83 · 07/12/2019 22:51

My son is just one and he is mainly on solids by his choice .... if someone put him to bed with no dinner I would be pretty annoyed though surprised he went down without a fight considering he eats musli and a whole banana for breakfast, soup and toast or Sandwhich for lunch a pretty big dinner and fruit and yogurt for dessert ( normal adult portion of natural yogurt ) and about 300 ml in the day ( only in 25 th percentile for weight 75th for height so presumed that’s fairly normal amounts

Notodontidae · 07/12/2019 22:53

Mums are on a learning curve on here all the time, if DD was asleep, it was a judgement call, in the same way as mums dont like their babies to fall asleep during the day, so the Parents can sleep all night. DD is still alive isn't she, probably did her some good to go without; either she needed the sleep, or wasn't too hungry, or she would have woke up. Cows milk is full of fat anyway. I dont see the point of trying to score brownie-points over it. YABU

Chickychoccyegg · 07/12/2019 22:53

I'm guessing you mean your dd was left with your dad and your grandparents? as dd's dad should have an idea of her schedule, not that it makes a huge difference

CurlsandCurves · 07/12/2019 22:54

Yep I’d be pissed off with this. How difficult is it at that age, breakfast, lunch and dinner? Plus any bottles or breastfeeding required depending on the child, both mine dropped to just a bedtime feed or bottle once they were on 3 meals a day and snacks.

snowybaubles · 07/12/2019 22:55

Should dad have given DD dinner even though she was happy playing then fell asleep.

What would you have done?

NoSauce · 07/12/2019 22:56

What’s the actual problem here? The baby was happy and fell asleep.

Yet another stupid thread.

MrsBricks · 07/12/2019 22:58

@Anxietyandwine "Food is fun til they’re 1 is the rule"
It's not a rule. It's pretty much the opposite of official guidance - they should be having more food than milk by one.

53rdWay · 07/12/2019 23:02

So there were three adults looking after the baby including her father, and they had a written copy of her schedule, and nobody thought to feed her dinner? I'm sure it won't do her any harm as a one-off but it's a bit useless.

doritosdip · 07/12/2019 23:02

Make sure that your h gets up with her tomorrow morning and feeds her brekkie.

BenevolentEzza · 07/12/2019 23:05

Does the child have health issues that means they need to have regular diet/fluid intake?

A normally healthy, regularly eating/drinking child will not suffer at all having a one off deviation from their usual intake. 5 hours is fuck all compared to days...

I assume you obviously have issues with the "crushed" father reaching far beyond the minor diet/fluid issue?

Span1elsRock · 07/12/2019 23:06

So the baby was with 3 adults, and not one of them thought to feed a 1 year old during 5 hours.............

I'm assuming they all ate at some point?

snowybaubles · 07/12/2019 23:09

I would laugh if I was given a written schedule for my own child. The baby was playing then fell asleep. That's all. She has a bottle of milk during that time too. I would have left me 1 year old sleeping also.

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/12/2019 23:11

DD had real issues regulating her blood sugar levels , 5 hours with just milk would have had her in hospital

snowybaubles · 07/12/2019 23:14

@PyongyangKipperbang

Surely if OPDD has similar issues it would have been mentioned in the post?

PyongyangKipperbang · 07/12/2019 23:29

Maybe not, DDs's issues didnt become apparent until she was nearly 2 and was very ill so didnt eat properly. Before then she always had. Doctor said that some kids are like that and she would hopefully grow out of it without treatment. She did, but the point is that not feeding a meal could have made her very ill and then what would useless dad have done?

VenusTiger · 07/12/2019 23:38

I’m reading this as the OP’s dad and the OP’s grandparents AIBU Hmm

Witchend · 07/12/2019 23:45

If she was hungry she wouldn't have slept. You can't force a 1yo to sleep.

HoppingPavlova · 07/12/2019 23:53

So the 1yo fell asleep before dinner? The people minding her thought better to let them sleep rather than wake them for food? Not the end of the world.

The 1yo can’t have been hungry, a 1yo is pretty good at letting you know they are hungry.

HoppingPavlova · 07/12/2019 23:55

Pretty sure if there was some pressing medical need for the child to have tightly timed meals the OP would have mentioned it initially so that seems a non-issue.

ChristmasCroissant · 07/12/2019 23:56

As Witchend said, if she was hungry she wouldn't have slept - do you wake her up to feed her, OP? Because I'd leave her to sleep and just feed her when she woke up.

Why did you leave a list of her schedule? I'm reading this as the baby's dad and grandparents (in-laws) and they didn't stick to the schedule so the OP is annoyed. Babies don't know about the schedule, though! They tend to eat, play and sleep when they want!

NameChangedNoImagination · 07/12/2019 23:57

Ffs be thankful you don't have something to actually be upset about. Worst case scenario, she wakes up hungry, he feeds her something, she goes back to bed. Jesus wept.

Besidesthepoint · 08/12/2019 00:01

Why on earth should he wake a sleeping one year old for dinner? Is she severely underweight? Surely he could just feed her when she wakes up?

TisTheSeasonToBeJollyFaLaLa · 08/12/2019 00:10

A schedule to look after his own child and she’s 1? Jesus how useless is he?

snowybaubles · 08/12/2019 00:15

A schedule to look after his own child and she’s 1? Jesus how useless is he?

Being given a schedule doesn't make him useless. It could just as easily be OP micro managing.

WendyMoiraAngelaDarling · 08/12/2019 00:17

Presumably if she was hungry she woukd have let them know

Maybe she tried to.

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