Sam Smith coming out as non-binary - help me understand!

[namechangeblah2019]

Name changed for this in case it gets messy.

I don't know if you've seen in the news but the singer Sam Smith came out as non-binary recently and has now asked that people use they/them pronouns with regard to them.

Absolutely not a problem with using those pronouns - I'm not a fan of theirs particularly so it's unlikely that they'll be cropping up that much in conversation anyway!

But - and I promise I am not being obtuse here, I am just old and slow but I am willing to learn - what exactly is non-binary? I just can't wrap my head around it. Surely the existence of non-binariness as a concept positions it as an alternative to an existing binary (i.e. men being macho and loving beer, women being all pink and girly and love wine) which I thought we all got over (or are meant to be getting over - sadly some people are very slow on the uptake!) anyway?

If I put on a pair of trousers or drink a pint or watch football I don't feel any less like a woman. I still feel like namechangeblah2019. How can you both refute the existence of a gender binary but also claim to be outside of it?

Please be kind to me - as I say I'm not implying they are wrong at all and if that is how they feel most comfortable being referred to then good on them and we should all respect that! I just want to learn as I currently feel like a right old fogey

Venice Allan posted a good point on her fb page.

Sam posted an Instagram pic, posing topless in a page 3 style, just after he 'came out.'

This shows how very sexist it all is, as he's insinuating that women are sex objects. And that's how he feels.

From fair play for women:

What does non-binary mean?
Some people claim to be neither male or female, or to have aspects of both, and call this non-binary (among other terms such as genderqueer or agender). It is true that few people wholly embrace the gender stereotypes associated with their sex. However, this has no impact on their underlying biological make-up. Therefore one may be non-binary in a gendered sense – indeed, we all are – but not by sex. A person may be masculine or feminine or in-between, but they are still either male or female.

But as I say, a few young women are binding and having mastectomies now to be fully non binary.

The female Dr on cbbc's operation ouch uses female pronouns but does use binders to flatten her chest.

Sam Smith has stated thing like they think 'like a woman' sometimes and when they have sex they do it in a feminine way.

So, like, with pink bows in his hair? I'd love to hear him describe what he thinks this means without sounding like some kind of wannabe woke version of Sid the Sexist.

I'm my head I just expected they would happily use their sex's toilet because they just feel like a person (but identify as neither) because if they were a female non binary who wanted to use a male toilet then they are not non binary? I think?

What would be the alternative? Non binary unisex toilets and everyone could use them, including binary people or non binary male and non binary female toilets that only people of that actual physical sex could use. But then isn't that just male and female toilets?

Arrggghh I'm driving myself mad here trying to understand. It makes no sense to me.

It's meaningless pretentious crap!

It makes no sense to me.

Welcome to wonderland, Alice.

Read this article.

www.bntmedia.uk/R6l4ZM

Note the transwoman commenting starts to realise there's an issue with identity, non binary and toilets.

Of course, women aren't included in this quandary.

(Note this councillor has now been in court for sex offences against children)

www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/live-updates-middlesbrough-councillor-david-16710218

*accused of.

Thank you I will read the links.
World gone mad.

Where does a non binary transman go to the toilet?

It's very complex. Ish.

Where do they tho to the toilet? Wherever the hell the want - hey, they can even poo in your handbag because, y’know, they are special.

they do it in a feminine way

Quite apart from being way TMI about the Smiths sexy time, what the fuck does this even mean?!!

And how the hell would SS’s even know?!?

No, actually don’t even answer that.

I feel sorry for their mothers (not fathers).

If DS announced that he was embracing his inner Fekkette and started dancing and shimmying in high heels and make-up to do just this, I’d really consider myself a failure as a woman role model.

So is that the smith’s or The Smiths? Should sammy change xiz name to a avoid confusion.

Not that I’d pay money to see Morrissey these days but back in the day I would have paid to see The Smiths. If one whiney voices diva turned up on stage I’d have been mightily disappointed.

no sorry, for the absence of doubt I meant the Sams. Not The Smiths.

My pronouns are a cymbal crash. Like this “K-T’sh” With single hand clap.

I’m thinking my pronouns shall be a short interpretive dance routine (like in Fat Bot Slim ‘Praise You’ video). I am a child of the 70s after all.

💃 🙆‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙆‍♀️🙋‍♀️🤷‍♀️🙅‍♀️🤦‍♀️💃

Actually I’m coming round to the idea now Fekko. Meeting introductions would be so much more interesting and could possibly take up the entire agenda.

Oh my sides are splitting after reading this:

Gender Creative Parenting: A Mum Explains Why She's Not Disclosing Her Child's Sex

Alas poor little zoomed: apple.news/AXxhylLTFSduN_bcQ7squgQ

As far as I know, Sam is happily relationshipped up with a man, who performs drag. But I don't think has ever said he's not a man.

There was a non-binary young woman on the C4 GenderQuake programme a couple of years ago.

She obviously was identifiably female, but was nearly in tears explaining how she can't take part in public life because she is too traumatised to use sexed toilets.

I felt sorry for her but it was also immensely frustrating. They are still lobbying for Non-Binary to be recognised under the GRA reforms but I can't for the life of me see how that would be workable.

Traumatised? By a toilet. Some people really don’t have a bloody clue about The Real World.

Zoomer.

I see.

I can’t help but feel that if SS was busier, they wouldn’t have time to worry about pronouns.🤷‍♀️

Whahahah - there’s more!

The parents keeping their child's sex a secret
Jake and Hobbit want to raise their baby as a "they" rather than "him or her".

Read in BBC News: apple.news/AAEB3RiZlTYKkHbItGeNeuQ

Lordprof

I don't want to be unkind, but yes, these kids really must have the softest of pillows to rest their heads on for this to be the zenith of their difficulties.

Either that or they are using this because they have been inculcated with the idea that coming out as their authentic self is the answer to their sense of ennui or MH difficulties.

I can't help feeling Sam might fall into this category.