You didn't impress my cock

[UnimpressorOfCocks]

AIBU to think that literally no woman ever would be ok with a guy she had recently shagged saying this to her? Especially when he expected her to shag him again?

I recently shagged a guy who said this to me. He thinks my reaction to his helpful feedback was due to 'my own issues' and 'most women wouldn't have reacted like that.'

Before you think I am shit in bed, here's what happened. So I shagged this guy I had a couple of dates with. He orgasmed twice, me not at all. His complaint about me 'not impressing his cock' was due to me not touching his cock with my hand or mouth. When he explained this, I said, ' so where in the 30 seconds that elapsed between us starting to kiss and you taking off my clothes and sticking your cock in me was I supposed to give you a blow job?' He said ' ah yes, I am not very good at foreplay'. Even when we had sex the second time just suddenly climbed on top of me and stuck his cock in again.

I reacted by saying ' Sorry, did you just say I didn't impress your cock?' He answered in the affirmative. I told him that no-one had ever (we are both in our forties) spoken to me with such a lack of respect, and that was a disgusting thing to say that was designed to humiliate me. He looked taken aback and said ' You think I have not been respectful? No, baby, if you knew me you would know I have a pure heart'. I can't remember what else I said but at some point he picked up on the fact I wasn't going to bed with him again as he looked astonished and said, 'So you aren't coming back to mine?' I spluttered 'No! How can you think I will, you think I am going to abase myself in the pursuit of impressing your cock? You are never seeing me naked again'.

He maintains that I over-reacted because of my issues.

Sounds like he was exceptionally inexperienced, trying to cover his own inadequacies by blaming you and, yes, a complete knob himself. I would have reacted exactly as you but laughing in his face may have been more effective.

He sounds awful. But it's part of the risk if you sleep with someone you hardly know that there's a chance they turn out to be a prick afterwards. No judgement from me by the way, as most of us have been there. Just be a bit more selective next time.

On the bright side, OP, he has at least given you a cracking MN username!

Just eurghhhh

Well that was a grim read.

Even when we had sex the second time just suddenly climbed on top of me and stuck his cock in again.

Call me old fashioned, but isn’t this rape?

Rofl at Dick Advisor! Genius! And Tre - vag- o!

Call me old fashioned, but isn’t this rape?

That’s what I said upthread. Glad I’m not the only one.

The responses on this thread make for even grimmer reading than the original post.

Well it would only be rape if she didn’t consent to it, rather than she was just taken by surprise as to how quickly he went from getting erect to penetrating her. There’s not really enough information to tell what happened from this post. I didn’t read it like she was asleep or anything.

I didn’t read it like she was asleep or anything.

She doesn’t need to be asleep for it to be rape. But she needs to consent.

Read back what was written in the OP.

”Even when we had sex the second time just suddenly climbed on top of me and stuck his cock in again “

What about that sounds consensual to you?

@Butchyrestingface sorry I’ve been skim reading. It’s dire.

That’s what I said upthread. Glad I’m not the only one.

The responses on this thread make for even grimmer reading than the original post. Agree. Why are we all laughing at this?

Life is grim sometimes . Sometimes people deal with it with humour . Sometimes people howl and wail and shout and cry .
Where are My clutching pearls?

Sorry, I take it back, what a lovely read. Throughly enjoyed it, so so funny.

I’m allowed to find the op’s awful experience grim. Would you prefer I’d used a different word? So fucking strange. Mn is so fucking weird.

Life is grim sometimes . Sometimes people deal with it with humour . Sometimes people howl and wail and shout and cry.
Where are My clutching pearls ?

Yes, because people who “wail and shout and cry” after being raped are just pearl clutchers.

What an absolutely fucking foul thread.

Yes. I think the second time was a surprise but she could have said no

Oh ffs

What about that sounds consensual to you?

I’m presuming given how the OP has spoken about the situation, she would have mentioned if lack of consent was a problem.

“Surprise sex” is still rape, are you jimmy Carr? You’re jimmy car, aren’t you.

Hiding the thread for sanity- preservation.

Good luck with future endeavours op, hope you have some better luck, I’m sure you will. Online dating is horrendous, but hopefully there are some good eggs out there.

Butchy I’m well aware that she doesn’t need to just be asleep hence the “or anything” and my use of the word “consent”.

It is perfectly possible (but we cannot know because there’s not enough information) for the op and the arrogant prick to have been kissing and the op stroking his penis to get him erect, with her full enthusiastic consent for sex immediately prior to penetration. We don’t know. The OP hasn’t indicated that she didn’t consent, just that she thought he was shit at foreplay.

I’m presuming given how the OP has spoken about the situation, she would have mentioned if lack of consent was a problem

But there are a fair few women (sadly) who come on MN describing similar situations of partner/boyf sticking his dick in them without so much as a bye your leave.

They’re not happy about the situation and want to know if they’re being unreasonable (!). They are usually told in no uncertain terms that they have been raped and should consider contacting the police.

Not saying the OP has been raped. But her description of what happened sure sounded non consensual (as regards the 2nd encounter at least) and yet 12 pages in, this thread is running in a way that’s hard to understand.

That's so awful, it sounds like a line from a dreadful misogynistic 70's film🤣 I love your comeback. Go sister! 💪🏻

Not saying the OP has been raped. But her description of what happened sure sounded non consensual (as regards the 2nd encounter at least) and yet 12 pages in, this thread is running in a way that’s hard to understand

As I said I imagine it’s running in the direction it is because the OP seems happy it was all consensual. I think it’s important to let her determine that, don’t you?

As I said I imagine it’s running in the direction it is because the OP seems happy it was all consensual. I think it’s important to let her determine that, don’t you?

Actually, I’m pretty disgusted at the way it’s ran and have reported thread (not something I usually do).

At the very least, I think there should be a trigger warning (also something I usually at) for any rape victims who maybe don’t want to unwittingly enter a thread and read about an incident where someone just “suddenly” climbs aboard a woman, sticks his cock in and then most of the responses being light hearted laughs at the jolly japes of sleeping with dickheads.

Over and out on this one.