You didn't impress my cock

[UnimpressorOfCocks]

AIBU to think that literally no woman ever would be ok with a guy she had recently shagged saying this to her? Especially when he expected her to shag him again?

I recently shagged a guy who said this to me. He thinks my reaction to his helpful feedback was due to 'my own issues' and 'most women wouldn't have reacted like that.'

Before you think I am shit in bed, here's what happened. So I shagged this guy I had a couple of dates with. He orgasmed twice, me not at all. His complaint about me 'not impressing his cock' was due to me not touching his cock with my hand or mouth. When he explained this, I said, ' so where in the 30 seconds that elapsed between us starting to kiss and you taking off my clothes and sticking your cock in me was I supposed to give you a blow job?' He said ' ah yes, I am not very good at foreplay'. Even when we had sex the second time just suddenly climbed on top of me and stuck his cock in again.

I reacted by saying ' Sorry, did you just say I didn't impress your cock?' He answered in the affirmative. I told him that no-one had ever (we are both in our forties) spoken to me with such a lack of respect, and that was a disgusting thing to say that was designed to humiliate me. He looked taken aback and said ' You think I have not been respectful? No, baby, if you knew me you would know I have a pure heart'. I can't remember what else I said but at some point he picked up on the fact I wasn't going to bed with him again as he looked astonished and said, 'So you aren't coming back to mine?' I spluttered 'No! How can you think I will, you think I am going to abase myself in the pursuit of impressing your cock? You are never seeing me naked again'.

He maintains that I over-reacted because of my issues.

from his expression 'pure heart' it sounds like his English is bad and didn't understand your sarcasm

@tallglassof

Is YOUR english bad? His claim he has a pure heart was in response to me saying that his 'unimpressed cock comment' was disgusting and designed to humiliate me. That is not me being sarcastic. He knew exactly what I was saying and exactly what he was saying with his 'pure heart' comment. Its a way of him thinking he can say what he wants and others can't be offended as his heart is pure. It was totally with good intent that he was telling me his cock was unimpressed. Surely I would want to know so that I can better service him next time!

But you go ahead and lay it all on my 'issues'. You have a lot in common with him really, would you like his number? I think you'll get on.

Na, I'm good, I don't need some random for causal 'shagging'.

I don't need some random for causal 'shagging'

This is beyond irrelevant. Unless you’re using it to somehow prove your superior? (Top tip, it doesn’t)

*you’re

womenspeakout - yawn.

He sounds like Austin Powers

Eugh! What a filth bag.

"But to counter, I know a fair number who are single because they were with the wrong person for many years. There’ll be someone cool for you!"

Ppl keep saying this to me in real life but there's fuck all out there. But at almost 50 I'm never ever going there EVER again. I wonder of you can sew it shut on the NHS?

@womenspeakout You sound like a right slutshaming Aunt Lydia!

He should get his money back from those tantric sex classes.

Best line of the entire thread!

What pretty much everyone has said...except the stupid ones blaming you for not being psychic of course!!

Hope you have better luck tonight!

@Mysterian 😀

Excellent! Especially when I got to the "This bus is in low gear"

And all so true!

Is this real? Is this the way adults talk to each other now in the dating world???

@Grumpelstilskin

I’m a big fan of THT but I like to console myself after watching by telling myself that most of us are liberal now so it couldn’t happen here. Then someone like @womenspeakout pops up and I think, hmm maybe it’s not so far fetched after all.

Ignore the small minority blaming you OP.

The intervention from Mumsnet HQ about asking people to stop troll hunting makes me almost wish I was still in touch with the Arsehole, so that I could say ' See? Your comment was so off the fucking radar in unacceptable weirdness that whole cohorts of people think I am lying, you fucking weirdo!'

@UnimpressorOfCocks

It's ok, enough of us have been OLD to know the truth when we read it. But still, send him the thread and report back!

His issue is that he is utterly rubbish at sex.

You know his number? you can still send it surely?

*is

I don't think that you can label an entire nation by one experience personally. I have been raped by white British entitled bastards.

Which is not to say you don't get men like this in first world countries - you most definitely do.

But it's the default third world, chauvinist countries.

There is no way I am getting in touch with him to send this thread! No way! It won't do any good. With men like that, no amount of reality can break the fiction of themselves they have created.

Sorry cross posted chicken - I knew this would be an understandable response ... But I do maintain when a country's culture is like that, it's even more likely/even more common.

@UnimpressorOfCocks

Thank you for giving us a laugh, also some of the comments had me giggling. Hopefully tonight is a better night for you!