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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think DP is being a bit ridiculous

157 replies

DeadSouth · 21/08/2019 20:05

My DP hates me walking about the house in a vest and underwear, we have a taxi rank directly across from our house but a good enough distance that they wouldn’t see into the house clearly. We have big windows but no air con so particularly on these hot days I just cannot force myself into pj’s trousers with this heat.
He says clothes are respectful and does follow this himself and wouldn’t even answer the door for post without a shirt on but I’m not answering the door I’m just chilling out.
Maybe I should just wear the damned trousers and quit fighting him on it..
My legs just love the freedom 😂

OP posts:
Kvothe · 21/08/2019 20:06

He’s being unreasonable. Wear what you want xx

Neverender · 21/08/2019 20:10

Pick better battles? Bung in some pj bottoms and then take them off when he goes to work?

Cherrysoup · 21/08/2019 20:10

Put up a voile or nets. I wouldn’t like the idea that people could see me at all, regardless of what I was wearing.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 21/08/2019 20:11

Put shorts on

DonnaDarko · 21/08/2019 20:12

Do you at least have net curtains up?! I wouldn't do it without those.

Can't decide who is being unreasonable lol

Littleduckeggblue · 21/08/2019 20:12

Can't you wear pj shorts?

AllBellsNoWhistles · 21/08/2019 20:13

Does he drape you in towels when you wear a bikini on the beach?
What's the difference?

Lazypuppy · 21/08/2019 20:14

Just put shorts on?

DeadSouth · 21/08/2019 20:17

The house doesn’t get much direct light so anything in the way makes it dull, I don’t actually own any pj shorts. Might compromise and make him buy me some 😂

Been together 4 year and he’s yet to see me in a bikini, we don’t tend to do summertime. Very much a winter couple

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 21/08/2019 20:17

What is he afraid of?
Why can't you put on shorts?

BenWillbondsPants · 21/08/2019 20:22

I don't understand why it has to be underwear. Why not shorts and a vest top?

DeadSouth · 21/08/2019 20:23

I don’t own any shorts cause I’m not really a shorts person. Forever in jeans or pj’s (or work clothes but that’s different)

I guess I’ll fling a few pair in the shopping and give them a try, most pj shorts sit where my underwear goes anyway as it’s usually just lady boxers.

OP posts:
TooTrueToBeGood · 21/08/2019 20:30

What are you worried will happen if you ignore him? Why isn't a response along the lines of "thanks for your opinion but I'm fine thanks" sufficient to deal with this?

DeadSouth · 21/08/2019 20:35

Not worried about what will happen but he brings it up very often.. I assume it annoys him enough to not let it go

OP posts:
CSIblonde · 21/08/2019 20:47

Wear pajama shorts & don't assume people over the road cant see. I can see right into my elderly neighbours, he walks around in just underpants & never closes the fabric blinds.

TooTrueToBeGood · 21/08/2019 20:47

I assume it annoys him enough to not let it go

Possibly, but with an equal mix of feeling entitled to tell you what to do so he doesn't feel he has to let it go. He may not like it but you're not doing anyone any harm so why should you comply to appease him and his demands? You've got your own mind, haven't?

PullingMySocksUp · 21/08/2019 20:49

If you buy some wafty pj bottoms or tiny sporty stretchy ones they’ll probably be as comfortable as pants but technically be shorts.

Sparklfairy · 21/08/2019 20:50

What's his opinion on you sunbathing in the garden overlooked by neighbours? He's a twat. Wear what you want. It's your home!

thecatinthetwat · 21/08/2019 20:52

Seriously? Absolutely fine.

You could actually do a quick test.. one of you go over to the taxi rank and see if you can see the other..?

DeadSouth · 21/08/2019 20:57

I’ve an upstairs flat so it’s not a direct view they would have to look up or have binoculars, when the lights are on the curtains are closed so not overly visible. To be honest I wouldn’t overly mind if they could see in. I’m not indecently dressed all areas are covered. I wouldn’t blink twice if I seen a woman dressed like that in her own home 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
messolini9 · 21/08/2019 21:02

Bung in some pj bottoms and then take them off when he goes to work?

Blimey!
That seems a bit ... unnecessary.
Either agree with him that you'll wear what you want in your own home.
Or agree you ought to comply with him, & don't.

OP's choice, obviously - but why should she have to sneak herself in & out of PJ bottoms to appease someone else's opinion? Or set herself a precent of "he doesn't like it so I need to hide it from him"? - that would be a really unhealthy dynamic!

Either way, have you tackled him about WHY he doesn't think you should have bare limbs at home? I'd be more interested in digging out what his problem is than in hearing constant remarks about what I am allowed to wear.

messolini9 · 21/08/2019 21:03

"precent" arrrgh sorry - meant "precedent"

allteanoshade · 21/08/2019 21:20

I mean it's hard to say since we don't know how it looks from outside, but I would say you might be being a bit U. We live on the 3rd floor and I thought for a long time that nobody would be able to see in, it was only when we walked past at night time that we noticed you could straight into any flats that had their lights on. But again it's hard to say whether that's the same for your house.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 21/08/2019 21:23

Wandering round in underwear while you get dressed or whatever - fine.
Wandering round in underwear day to day - odd.

I'd not do it, I'd not be happy anyone living here doing it.

It's under wear. Put it under clothes. Even shorts and vest is better than just rocking round the house in knickers.

user1493759849 · 21/08/2019 21:29

@DeadSouth

YABU. And you sound like an exhibitionist. Why the hell would you want to walk round your lounge in just your vest and knickers, with the curtains open, with a taxi rank opposite where everyone can see you? VERY weird. And attention-seeking!

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