To think DP is being a bit ridiculous

[DeadSouth]

My DP hates me walking about the house in a vest and underwear, we have a taxi rank directly across from our house but a good enough distance that they wouldn’t see into the house clearly. We have big windows but no air con so particularly on these hot days I just cannot force myself into pj’s trousers with this heat.
He says clothes are respectful and does follow this himself and wouldn’t even answer the door for post without a shirt on but I’m not answering the door I’m just chilling out.
Maybe I should just wear the damned trousers and quit fighting him on it..
My legs just love the freedom 😂

A lot of the posters sound like Hyacinth Bouquet - thinking they have class when they don't. You can tell by the disparaging silly comments, because no one with actual class would seriously make those...

Wear what you are comfortable in!

I can’t believe the amount of people suggesting alternatives!

@skybluee

Yeah! What the Hyacinths don't get - because they have very confused notions of class & have prob never been near An Actual Toff, is that GENUINE toffs tend to not give a crap.

Holes in jackets, trousers tied up with string, ancient boots, filthy jodhpurs ... if they're not actually sitting in the House, dining out, or In Town, they don't & won't care. If they wanted to waltz around in boxer shorts, they'd just do it, not consult the bloody Suburban Sensibilities Squad's rulebook

@user1480880826 got to love your dig at us working class, I suppose you’d love to look down on us little half naked commoners who sort out your expensive deliveries for you 😂

Definitely not a class thing just an old stereotype sure if my boxers cost like £70 I’d wear them all the same.

@messolini9 your replies are hilarious 😂👌🏻

@DeadSouth I’m not sure how you’ve made my comment into a class argument. I can only assume you’ve quoted the wrong user. My comment read:

Absolutely nothing wrong with wearing pants and a vest in your own house. I doubt anyone can see in if you’re in an upstairs flat. But even if they could see in, you’re not naked. You’re completely covered.

Your husband sounds like a prude.

Obviously if it’s dark outside, the curtains are open and the lights are on the whole world can see in. But that’s not what you’ve said you’re doing.

I think that when you live with someone you need to consider their views as well as your own, and sometimes compromise is necessary.

In this case, the OP says that her partner thinks wearing clothes is 'respectful'. I happen to agree with him. My views don't matter, but his do. Not because he is a man and she is a woman, but because they are sharing a home together and she is doing something he considers disrespectful.

My husband has the right to wear what he likes around our house. If he wore something I considered disrespectful, I would tell him I didn't like it, and I'd be pretty confident that he would stop wearing it. Why would he want to persist in doing something he knew I didn't like, just because he had the right to?

OP's partner is hardly asking her to engage in unreasonable or unusual behaviour. He just wants her to wear outerwear rather than underwear.

Some rights are worth fighting for. Personally, I can't see that the 'right' to wear (just) underwear around the house is one of them. If the OP and her partner have such different views on this issue, I suspect that there will be bigger battles ahead.

@user1480880826 aww I’m so sorry I just pressed the reply and typed in user and it came up your username instead of @user1493759849! That’s sooo my bad!!
He is kinda a prude to be fair, same guy has no problem with his male friends acting like apes in the pub though, think he was born in the wrong century 🙈

I am now wearing a pair pyjama bottoms and a vest top ... what I wear in the privacy of my own home is my business.

@Mileysmiley Snap! Being comfortable is the main factor in clothes you chill in

I think that when you live with someone you need to consider their views as well as your own, and sometimes compromise is necessary.

So why can't he compromise and accept her views in terms of what she chooses to wear?

In this case, the OP says that her partner thinks wearing clothes is 'respectful'.

The day I find myself feeling disrespected by the clothes my wife chooses to wear I will check myself into a sanatorium for the terminally entitled.

I happen to agree with him

We'd never have guessed.

Wtaf? You're in your own house, ffs, wear whatever you want. I often wander about in a vest or t-shirt and knickers and have been known to pop downstairs in the altogether. It's my house and I'll do what I bloody well like.

I even go out in the garden in t-shirt and undercrackers if I'm just grabbing washing in or something like that. I can't be arsed to go upstairs to put trousers on and then take them off again 5 minutes later. Life's too short for all that faff.

I tend to keep my tits covered up, but only because the sight of them unrestrained makes DP come over all unnecessary. (He is the complete opposite, the least he wears outside of bedroom/bathroom is t-shirt and shorts).

But thanks for airing your snobbery, it's always a useful gauge for assessing who's a pretentious bottom-feeder with a set of plastered-on airs & graces.

HAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant, @messolini9. Reminds me of the mother of a boyfriend I had many years ago, who thought it was "disgusting" that I hung my drawers on the outside washing line where "the neighbours might see them".

Couples often have something that annoys the other person. And at he end of the day it’s the persons body and choice.

If say she still had baby belly and it made him uncomfortable. Would it be acceptable for him to go on about it and demand she do something about it?

Of course not. Her body her choice.

People usually wear clothes that they are comfy in and not to appease others.

I wonder if she wore something similar but sexy if he would still have an issue.

thought it was "disgusting" that I hung my drawers on the outside washing line where "the neighbours might see them".

This has just reminded me of a daft argument years ago between my nan and one of her adult grandchildren (gc).
Nan had washing out including knickers. Gc said - what will the neighbours think?
Nan - They can think what they like.
Gc - but there knickers
Nan - and? Are knickers alien to you?
Gc - but they will see them
Nan - And? They get worn and get washed in this house. Not worn and binned. Should I also avoid socks/tights/stocking cos people like feet?

@TooTrueToBeGood of course he could compromise. My point is that one of them has to.

Where compromise is needed, I would expect to default to the norm - unless there was something like an important health issue that meant the norm was not appropriate. Perhaps I'm just old and out of touch but it seems to me that it is much more normal for people to wear clothes indoors than it is for them to spend the day in underwear.

I'm not suggesting that the OP should be uncomfortable, but there are plenty of options for comfortable clothes that are not underwear.

My friends husband walks around like this when he isn't watching tv.

Brilliant!

I’ll be honest, if my DH was regularly strolling around in his boxers I would have something to say about it especially if he kept the blinds open!

I can’t see why anyone would do this with the blinds open...

I don't think it's very hygienic. I'm not usually someone who worries too much about that (I don't change towels or sheets nearly as often as many on Mumsnet) but I wouldn't like the idea of him (or anyone) sitting on the sofa in just thin underpants surely this is only a hygiene concern if people in your household don't wash and wear clean clothes?!

Posters talking about how it's ill-mannered to dress like that....in their own homes?! That sounds like an awful home life, I couldn't live with someone who thought like that. Your home is the one place you can actually be comfortable surely.

OP there's nothing wrong with what you wear. If my partner made comments like your partner I'd either think he was trying to control me like a possession or that for some reason he didn't want to look at my body. Either of those would be a huge problem for me.

Even now at 38 weeks pregnant with our third I usually wear a vest top and pants at home in this wearher and my partner only comments if he's complenenting me or making a move on me If he suddenly started urging me to cover up I'd think something wrong.

I mean I’m pretty slim and figure looks decent enough, I’d hope it’s not about my body but I suppose if it was a possessive thing I’d not much enjoy that either.. Summers basically over so it’s kinda a nonissue now but if he brings it up again in the future I’ll definitely be questioning it

Wear what you like. I spend half my life naked at home. I have a dressing gown to open the door in but I don't like being hot. If I'm not naked I have a vest and shorts. My DD is also naked at least half the time. When she gets old enough to object I guess I'll need to at least put pants and a vest on but in the meantime I embrace me nudity!

I do shut the curtains though!

And as for the class thing I am most definitely middle class. I went to private school, I earn in the top 5%, I am proper posh! I just don't enjoy clothes much. I grew up and schooled with plenty of others who were middle / upper class. Eccentricity was totally normal. My friends who lived in something the National Trust would own and had an estate and ran hunts ate in the scullery for tea and wore great grandmothers hand me downs. I can quite imagine them hanging about naked (if the family seat wasn't so drafty and cold!)

Suburban keeping up with the Jones's isn't class!

Anyone else intrigued by how @Cath2907 earns in the top 5% if she spends half her life naked at home?!

More seriously, on the hygienic point, even if you shower and wear clean clothes (or underwear in this case) daily, by the end of the day I imagine you'd be a bit sweaty and sticky, especially when it's hot.

@Fifthtimelucky some extremely well paid jobs don’t require 1000’s of hours. Half her life can be naked while the other half can be in business attire easily.
Your clothes would also get sweaty and sticky 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s as easy to wash and wipe down most furniture as it is to wash clothes.

Ye Dogs!!! -

Reminds me of the mother of a boyfriend I had many years ago, who thought it was "disgusting" that I hung my drawers on the outside washing line where "the neighbours might see them".

You disgraceful ... Peasant @LakieLady! Were you also "flaunting"? Bet you were. Tsk tsk tsk. It's your sort that bring down the neighbourhood.

There was a whole thread devoted to the "airing laundry outside" quandary recently. OP had had a pass-agg anonymous note through her door regarding the laundry drying on the balcony. The volume of posters agreeing, &/or discussing invented 'rules' specifiying exactly which garments, if any, were permissable was startling, & pretty hilarious ...

Until the discussion moved on to whether laundry-airing was banned by the Freehold agreement, & that it's becoming a 'thing' in many blocks of flats, & it OUGHT to be banned. Because - you know - Tone, daahling. Also house prices.