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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have screamed down the phone at wrong information?

340 replies

SnotBlower · 14/08/2019 14:41

Last week I told my mother that DDog had worms. She spoke with her “know it all but knows incorrectly” husband and then rang me back telling me “Barry was saying, you need to get the queen out”. I said “what?” And she said “the queen worm, Barry was saying that there is always a queen and it’s a long white worm and until you get that one, you’ll never get rid of the babies”. Now ... I’m used to Barry’s bullshit ridiculous advice and I’m also used to my mum blindly believing everything he says and refusing the accept that he’s wrong, so to avoid the argument I just said “ok”.

A couple of days later she asked “did you manage to get the queen yet?”. Now ... catching me on a bad day I snapped “it doesn’t work like that with worms! There is no queen or worker worms or bloody soldier worms ... they’re all the same!” So she, as predicted said “no! Barry used to have a dog so he knows what he’s on about!! You need to get the queen worm out otherwise it’s no good, you’ll never be rid of them”. So I changed the subjected.

This morning she rang up and said “hows the worms?” So I said “good, all gone now” so she said “oh good! You must have got the queen then! Barry was saying it’s called the Tate worm or something ... “

So at this point I lost it and screamed down the phone. She started shouting “what’s wrong?!” Thinking I was being attacked and now she’s in a huff because I “worried her”.

This drives me mad, Barry comes out with the most ridiculous shit and she instantly decides he must be spot on and argues everyone else down - in turn making herself look as daft as him!!! It’s gone on for over 20 years and I’ve always tried to be polite and humour them but fuck it! AIBU to not go along with this shit anymore? He needs to be told!!

OP posts:
FireBloodAndIce · 14/08/2019 20:36

YourSarcasmIsDripping fuck I'm bolloxed then, my bump is so big i can't even get a good look down there. How on earth can i entice that out? 😂

Passthecherrycoke · 14/08/2019 20:39

And enter stage left... JACKIE 😭😭😭😭

CathyorClaire · 14/08/2019 20:47

Barry is a very dear friend of mine. He's also a flat earther but we don't talk about that otherwise I might scream too Grin

igotdemons · 14/08/2019 20:49

This thread is hilarious! 😂 I too would love to know Barry’s (and even Jackie’s!) opinions on a plethora of subjects... 🤣

CathyorClaire · 14/08/2019 20:51

Oh. Just remembered. I was once on a forum with a female Barry. Not so much know it all as done it all.

One of those if you'd been to Tenerife she'd done Elevenerife...

HRTea · 14/08/2019 20:53

JACKIE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

musicinspring1 · 14/08/2019 20:56

This thread is so funny thank you snotblower as I appreciate the frustration you must go through to enable us to enjoy Barry’s wisdom. Think of it as sacrificing for the greater mumsnet good.

GabsAlot · 14/08/2019 20:59

Oh a barry i know somone like this knows bloody everything im just constantly rolling my eyes

the dog ones are funny my dh used to have arottweiler who was fine and my sil has 2 collies who are great with her step children

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 14/08/2019 21:03

FireBloodAndIce

You shove in(deeeeeep in, wouldn't want this to fail due to a missed message) an invitation to your wedding . Once the Queen attends with all her minions and are distracted by the food, your family will brutally slit their throats thus ridding you of the traitorous queen and restoring your honour.

The Red Haemorrhoid Wedding.

Bookworm4 · 14/08/2019 21:05

@CathyorClaire
That woman is a “two shits”.

checkingforballoons · 14/08/2019 21:13

Not one of these eight pages disappointed me.

WoollyMollyMonkey · 14/08/2019 21:20

This is pure gold - Tate worm, queens, spraying the dog - brilliant, thanks for cheering me up OP.

I have a question for Barry. I heard that you should never let a cow in your house as if it goes upstairs it can’t walk down again. (For some reason they can’t go down steps.) what does Barry think about this? Grin

Lovestonap · 14/08/2019 21:20

@kisstheteapot this is awkward, but actually fat Is converted to CO2, it's one of the waste products.....

To have screamed down the phone at wrong information?
thecatinthetwat · 14/08/2019 21:45

this is awkward, but actually fat Is converted to CO2, it's one of the waste products.....

Grin

That’s the problem with these Barry’s isn’t it? Every so often they get one right, often misrepresented, but still.

TateWorm · 14/08/2019 21:45

Didn't realise how amazing this post was going to be, even ended up with a new username. Thanks Barry! Grin

absofuckinglutley · 14/08/2019 21:58

Can Barry solve the age old chicken/egg conundrum?

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 14/08/2019 21:58

Wahhhhhhh love the new name tateworm

FireBloodAndIce · 14/08/2019 22:04

@YourSarcasmIsDripping love it!

I will begin calling my banners immediately and ask dhs help with sending the invitation 😂

pickletickled · 14/08/2019 22:05

OP are you by any chance from a small Town in the NE of England?
I have a Barry! well, I actually don't but feel as if I do......
A customer comes in my shop EVERY day, TWICE a fucking day and all he talks about is his mate Barry, particularly what Barry says - it's always true and he's always right. Barry knows everything Hmm Customer doesn't have an opinion of his own he uses Barry's :) I feel like screaming, but can't because I'm at work so I'm not surprised you actually did.
I have asked said customer if Barry is the bastarding oracle but that didn't go down too well tbh.

SnotBlower · 14/08/2019 22:11

@pickletickled I AM in a small town the NE 😱

OP posts:
YourSarcasmIsDripping · 14/08/2019 22:12

Fire just don't send the invitation in by raven.GrinGrin

SnotBlower · 14/08/2019 22:15

Barry also has a very questionable sense of humour. For my grandmothers 85th birthday he bought a card with semi naked women on the front (bikini bottoms, boobs out), drew an arrow to a busty blonde and wrote “Doris” on it. Doris is my grandmother. She was not amused. Neither were the rest of the family who deemed it “bloody inappropriate”. My mum leaped to his defence and said he was only having a laugh but secretly, she was mortified. She’d never admit it though.

OP posts:
NobleRot · 14/08/2019 22:16

Obviously the police should practice by taking it in turns to fight Queen Tate Worm in hand to hand combat. But Barry will have thought of that.

FireBloodAndIce · 14/08/2019 22:21

@YourSarcasmIsDripping that would be an unnecessary cruelty to the poor thing. Ill find an aptly named mockingbird!

pickletickled · 14/08/2019 22:24

Snot OMFG could it possible we have the SAME bastarding Barry? Shock
Does Your Towns name have two words?

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