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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your favourite ever line from mumsnet is?

346 replies

MyOtherProfile · 07/04/2019 09:36

Would love to find mine again - it was about Liam Gallagher and I'm pretty sure it was in a thread about the Ariana Grande Manchester concert. A poster said he has been wearing that anorak since 1993 and he won't feel the benefit.

Can't really say why I love it so much but it still makes me laugh out loud and we often quote it as a family, like when teen ds wears his coat at the dinner table.

OP posts:
ivegotthisyeah · 07/04/2019 20:41

When I first joined Mumsnet I can remember someone referring to children's party bags ( given out at parties) as 'fuck off bags'
It made me howl and still makes me chuckle now and that's why I'm addicted to Mumsnet Confused

MagentaRocks · 07/04/2019 20:42

Fuck off you spud cunt for me too. Still chuckle when I think of it.

JaneEyre07 · 07/04/2019 20:46

Def the fat ball one..... her DH thought it was an artisan scotch egg or something and ate it. It was the notion of her "double bagging" him with undies and PJs that finished me off.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2017083-He-has-eaten-a-fat-ball?pg=1

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 07/04/2019 20:49

On a baby name thread someone had asked about the name Elaine, and one of the replies was 'Perfect if she comes out as a 50-year-old doctor's receptionist.' I was in stitches.

My mum is called Elaine and was until recently a doctor's receptionist Grin

Mine was on a loooong thread about god knows what (although I think it's in Classics) where the poster started off saying something 'I'll call her Louise, because that was her name'.

At the time it had me in stiches! Grin

(all of the others I get, which definitely means I spend too much time here!)

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 07/04/2019 20:50

I used to be on a parenting website where we had a 'post of the week,' or some such thing that was always very funny and popular.

nervousFTM · 07/04/2019 20:50

Someone made a comment about her x-month old baby looking like a criminal potato in his passport photo on a thread about how hideous passport pics are. Kills me to this day and we often say our 6 month old daughter looks like one!

MyMuffinsStuck · 07/04/2019 20:53

Wankee Candles!

OPs homemade candles turned in to massive red veiny cocks and a mumsnet genius proclaimed them to be Wankee candles! I've previously paid homage to Wankee Candles on other threads... I don't really comment on anything else!

"David Cameron's face looks like a freshly wanked cock" - cannot breath 🤣🤣🤣

jigsawmaniac · 07/04/2019 20:54

My favourite was snapped and farted, but I've just trawled through the link the link a pp put on and laughed for ages, at I AM CANADIAN, even with the deleted posts! New favourite line!

SisterhoodOfKahn · 07/04/2019 21:01

UCM is that you???

Makes me smile every time!

Maxsaidno · 07/04/2019 21:03

Response to an OP complaining she’d found a staple in her hotel room bedding:

“Look. It’s a staple. In the bedcover. Accidentally. If you’d found a Komodo dragon dressed in crotchless knickers smoking a crack pipe under the bed then maybe that would warrant a call to reception but really - the staple - just leave it the fuck be!”

And my all time favourite from donkeys ago:

“Every time I enter Build A Bear Workshop I begin to think the Taliban has a point about Western decadence.”

LellowYedbetter · 07/04/2019 21:06

“He came over my assignment”
“Snapped and farted”
“Sharon, the wasp and the wine”
“He broke his ankle chasing an old woman out of the garden”

GlenPonder · 07/04/2019 21:07

Has to be YOU'RE THE CARCASS.

Lozz22 · 07/04/2019 21:10

Snapped and farted I sniggered for ages reading that thread

3luckystars · 07/04/2019 21:12

" that Martin Freeman was actually 3 dogs under a trenchcoat"

and that Gregg Wallace smelt 'like that sulphuric smell when you open a packet of ham'

makingmammaries · 07/04/2019 21:17

"Daddy had given them badger with rice for lunch."

Ifartglitterybaubles · 07/04/2019 21:20

It has to be the reply to Hulldad's offer of an erm... 'intimate Yoni massage'

My Yoni says noni.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1729276-Yoni-Vaginal-Massage

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 07/04/2019 21:21

‘I’d be a bitch too if I’d never had a roast potato.’

A thread about a MIL and potato choices, IIRC.

kaytee87 · 07/04/2019 21:22

All of the above. I'm crying and snorting with laughter here, my DH keeps shooting me 'shut up' looks.

jumperoo123 · 07/04/2019 21:23

Deffo the fat balls one! Whenever I make scotch eggs I laugh about it. It had me howling

BusySittingDown · 07/04/2019 21:24

From "A Dog Shat On My Picnic" thread. I can't remember the exact words but something about the dog proceeding to empty its "bum gravy" on the picnic blanket.

I miss the OP of that thread - she was hilarious. It takes a lot to make me laugh but a lot of her threads were so funny.

TheFatberg · 07/04/2019 21:24

I think snapped and farted because unfunny when the OP tried to claim she'd written it on purpose and had IBS. It was funny as a random typo but not after that.

Love the fat match one though, such a funny thread.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 07/04/2019 21:29

It's very recent, but I have been threatening to report DH and the DC to 'the local council' repeatedly...

Nnnnnineteen · 07/04/2019 21:34

Ah, also came on to say "UCM, is that you? " funniest opening 2 lines of a thread ever.

vegpatch · 07/04/2019 21:37

Crying with laughter here.
It's from yonks ago, but DH and I still remember someone suggesting that Robson Green looks like 'he likes a finger up his jotter' while he's having sex Grin

FilthyforFirth · 07/04/2019 21:43

Balonz is my favourite ever thread! Snapped and farted is a close second!