Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DDs partner and I not talking

150 replies

user1471453601 · 02/04/2019 20:09

A couple of days ago DD and I were out visiting family. When we got back dog was v exited (she is daughters dog, predominantly). In her.exitment, she launched herself off the sofa, to get to.DD. In the process, she hurt DDs partner. I'm sure it hurt DDs partner because dog has done similar to me.

Dog is a rescue and we were told never to use harsh tones with her, which we haven't in the year we have had her.

DDs partner , after being hurt, responded with "fuck off" in a very aggressive tone.

I was/am very very angry. D dog has had enough negative in her life. I know she doesn't understand the words, but the tone of DDs partner has upset me.

DD would like me to forgive and forget. I still ( four days later) still feel angry that an animal entrusted to our care, with specific instructions not to use a harsh tone, has been subjected to just that

I'm finding hard to let this go.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 02/04/2019 20:12

I don't think the dog speaks English. Hmm

Have you apologised to DDs partner, seeing as the dog hurt him?

PS - what was the animal doing on the furniture?

Etino · 02/04/2019 20:13

YABVU. Train your dog and have some sympathy for dds partner.

Original poster
user1471453601 · 02/04/2019 20:15

He is a she, and our dogs are allowed to go wherever they like in our house

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 02/04/2019 20:15

Erm yes yabu

PinkiOcelot · 02/04/2019 20:15

Well yes I think you are a bit. He was hurt so I can understand his reaction.
How can you discipline a dog if you can’t use tones with it? Genuine question. I have no idea about dogs.

JessicaWakefieldSVH · 02/04/2019 20:16

I’ve rescued animals so I understand why you’re concerned, a lot of people don’t get it. I think you should let it go for now, as it’s an isolated incident. Perhaps ask your daughter to go through how to behave with this rescue at another time.

Secretlifeofme · 02/04/2019 20:16

Is this a reverse?! Seems very odd otherwise

JessicaWakefieldSVH · 02/04/2019 20:18

Many rescues have been abused and you get trained on how to deal with them, this avoids retraumatising them or creating anxious and/or aggressive animals. It may sound silly if you’ve never had a rescue.

Ellisandra · 02/04/2019 20:18

YABVU, and childish.

morewashingtodooo · 02/04/2019 20:19

PP would shout at a child if they got excited and accidentally hurt you, knowing that most of their life's they had been abused?.

He may well of been hurt but if his first response is to shout and curse then he's rather a dick head.

ShawshanksRedemption · 02/04/2019 20:20

I don't agree with DD's partner getting angry at the dog; it was an accident after all.

I do think however you need to look into how to train Ddog, to reduce any risk of harm to others (esp as this has now happened twice).

DisplayPurposesOnly · 02/04/2019 20:22

Id be angry too, but to not speak to someone for four days is a bit silly.

Start talking, and find some way of making your daughter's partner aware that not speaking to the dog harshly is a requirement not a request. If partner persists, don't have them round at all!

tor8181 · 02/04/2019 20:23

my dog is treated like a princess but your reaction,really?

you do relise its just a dog,its not going to take offense at a swear word

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 02/04/2019 20:25

PFD?

Doghorsechicken · 02/04/2019 20:26

I wouldn’t be mad about it a few days later but you should tell him not to shout at the dog. I’m like you OP my dog is allowed everywhere and even sleeps on my bed so ignore PP about dogs on the furniture!

Treezylover · 02/04/2019 20:28

Haha @ PFD! Our dog’s a rescue too, but if she hurt someone I really wouldn’t blame them for reacting badly, you seem very precious.

chandylier · 02/04/2019 20:29

If someone told my dog to fuck off i wouldnt want to speak to them

QueenBeex · 02/04/2019 20:29

PS - what was the animal doing on the furniture?

Her dog, her rules if he can go on the sofa or not. I also let my dog on the furniture and always have done since he was a puppy, he's now 12. He's more than welcome to come sit with me on the sofa whenever he wants, if for some reason im sitting on the sofa whilst eating he automatically knows to stay on the floor untill im done. he sleeps at the end of my bed too. I understand some people do not let animals do this,however my pet is very much a member of the family and my home / furniture is his too to a certain extent.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 02/04/2019 20:29

our dogs are allowed to go wherever they like in our house

One of those dogs untrained, undisciplined, spoiled

saraclara · 02/04/2019 20:30

Four days?
You have this way out of proportion.

Not to mention that 'not speaking' to someone is infantile. Get over yourself. The dog isn't scared for life, but your relationship with your daughter and her partner soon will be. It's simply not worth it.

QueenBeex · 02/04/2019 20:31

Ooops i also just called your dog a 'he' Blush

Middlrm · 02/04/2019 20:31

Did he know this was a rule with the dog?

I wouldn’t ignore someone for an isolated incident same as the dog isn’t getting told off ... or perhaps he has less value emotionally than the dog ( p.s I love dogs so it’s entirly possible dogs in many ways are better than people ) x x

Quartz2208 · 02/04/2019 20:32

It is difficult to control a reaction when you are being hurt.

As he in effect was attacked you are lucky that is all he said

IvanaPee · 02/04/2019 20:33

You’re being ridiculously over dramatic.

Is this a reverse?

I have a rescue. He sleeps on the sofa. Occasionally he would jump at people when excited except we’re training him not to. He’s not suffering from being disciplined.

Seriously, you’re being really weird.

Wolfiefan · 02/04/2019 20:33

How childish.
He should apologise for swearing in your home. But you should apologise for the out of control behaviour of the dog you’ve had for a year and clearly not trained at all.

Swipe left for the next trending thread