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AIBU?

DDs partner and I not talking

150 replies

user1471453601 · 02/04/2019 20:09

A couple of days ago DD and I were out visiting family. When we got back dog was v exited (she is daughters dog, predominantly). In her.exitment, she launched herself off the sofa, to get to.DD. In the process, she hurt DDs partner. I'm sure it hurt DDs partner because dog has done similar to me.

Dog is a rescue and we were told never to use harsh tones with her, which we haven't in the year we have had her.

DDs partner , after being hurt, responded with "fuck off" in a very aggressive tone.

I was/am very very angry. D dog has had enough negative in her life. I know she doesn't understand the words, but the tone of DDs partner has upset me.

DD would like me to forgive and forget. I still ( four days later) still feel angry that an animal entrusted to our care, with specific instructions not to use a harsh tone, has been subjected to just that

I'm finding hard to let this go.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

slashlover · 02/04/2019 21:36

OPs DDs DP is female

itsinchicago · 02/04/2019 21:36

If someone's dog launched itself off the furniture and ended up hurting me I'd shout at it as well.

You seem totally unconcerned that someone got hurt.

YABU.

ScarletBitch · 02/04/2019 21:43

Your dog hurt someone, get over yourself with your stupidness blaming your DD partner. He had every right to be angry. If your dog had hurt a child would you blame them as well?

Elloduckie · 02/04/2019 21:44

So you're waiting until the dog attacks him properly to then sort out your dog then? Serious injury perhaps? Perhaps your dog should hurt a young child in the process for you to train it properly or get it put down???

Youre focusing on the wrong thing, you could be dealing with much more than DDs partner speaking in a harsh tone to some animal.

dorisdog · 02/04/2019 21:44

I'm with you OP. I think you're going to have to find a way to talk to him again - maybe just tell him it wasn't ok and why, and then move on. But I completely understand. I've helped rescue dogs - and tbh it would be ok to speak to any dog like that. Dogs understand tone and body language very well. It makes a huge difference.

WorraLiberty · 02/04/2019 21:47

I've only ever had rescue dogs, in fact I have an 18 month old rescue dog now.

Yet I think you're being unbelievably precious and quite childish, to still be angry 4 days later.

dorisdog · 02/04/2019 21:48

Sorry OP - just realised DDs partner is a woman.

Ribbonsonabox · 02/04/2019 21:49

YABVVU perhaps she was shocked! If someone or something hurt me all of a sudden I might also tell fuck off! It's not like she was actually physically aggressive towards the dog in which case I'd understand your reaction... but if she just swore your reaction is massively over the top. Of course you should forgive and forget. You are being very strange about this! And I really think you need to do more about the behaviour of your dog or else you will be dealing with this type of reaction a lot... people generally do not react with love and patience to being attacked by random dogs!

Absolutepowercorrupts · 02/04/2019 21:53

This has been really interesting how posters responses differ when they realise that dd's partner is female.
If your/ dd's dog hurt her then I'm not surprised she shouted, telling the dog to fuck off is a bit over the top too.
I wouldn't like it if someone swore at my dog but my dog is super human and gets very upset when people swear at him
Seriously op for you to not speak to your dd's partner for four days is really ridiculous. I think you need to work out what's really pissing you off. For you to be so angry is unusual

ralphfromlordoftheflies · 02/04/2019 21:53

Oh for gods sake, how dramatic. You are being ridiculous, and you sound like really, really hard work. I hope the fact that about 176 previous posters have said the same prompts you to stop being such a dick.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/04/2019 21:55

our dogs are allowed to go wherever they like in our house you’re that owner
Your dog hurt daughter girlfriend and you’re minimising and blaming her
Not all rescue dogs are timorous,some can be aggressive and erratic. Like your dog
Apologise to the girl,book your dog some training before it hurts someone ekse

ScarletBitch · 02/04/2019 21:55

@Downunderduchess oh piss off, reflection on them? The OP could face charges from the Police for allowing an aggressive dog to behave like this. The dog would then be put down.

Ginnymweasley · 02/04/2019 21:55

My sil dog knocked my toddler flying cause 'he was just been friendly" like I said to her. "I don't care whether the dog purposefully hurt her or not, she still got hurt" my dd screamed. As an adult your dds partner swore it's not much different. The dog needs training not to jump at people rescue dog or not.
If it's your dds dog then she needs to take charge of the training.
As for the silent treatment...grow up.

saraclara · 02/04/2019 22:03

It's your DD's dog, and she's managing to keep a cool head. You aren't. Why?

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 02/04/2019 22:08

I see it’s dd dog,well she needs to book it training before it hurts someone else
The dog hurt daughter girlfriend and you’re minimising and blaming her?
Aplologise to the lassie and move on

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 02/04/2019 22:10

One of those dogs

I have two rescue dogs who are beautifully trained, polite and sociable. I can take them anywhere and they'll behave beautifully because I've gently trained them to behave that way.

They are free to go anywhere they like in the house, including in bed with us and it's helped to make them the secure, confident dogs they are as we're a family pack. That's how dogs work.

Nicecupofcoco · 02/04/2019 22:13

Hi op! I get what you mean!
Who tells a dog to fuck off?? Really! I get that she was hurt, but her reaction seems a tad over the top!
On the other hand it seems daft you guys not speaking, either apologise or just move on from it.

OohYeBelter47 · 02/04/2019 22:15

I think she should apologise for reacting that way and you should forgive her as it was a knee jerk reaction, or does she normally treat the dog in this way? I would be really hurt if someone said that to my dog and I would give an explanation of why, ask for an apology and accept it.

And quite right the dog should have free reign of it's own home.

mbosnz · 02/04/2019 22:16

DD needs to work on getting her dog a little bit more socialised maybe? And also getting her partner on board about her rescue dog?

And if I were you, I'd work very hard on not being in the middle of it.

HolyForkingShirt · 02/04/2019 22:17

Woah, so the victim should apologise for her reaction at being hurt?

I've heard it all now!

Booboostwo · 02/04/2019 22:24

How did the dog react? Did he cower and hide in fear? Is he too scared to approach your DD’s partner?

I would imagine the dog got over being shouted at faster than you.

Acis · 02/04/2019 22:28

It's understandable that someone who is suddenly hurt by an excitable dog will say something like "Fuck off" and refusing to speak to her for four days as a result is ridiculous. The way to avoid the dog being spoken to harshly in future is to ensure that she is properly trained so that these incidents don't happen again. If gets over-excited and behaves like this when out for walks she's likely to encounter considerably harsher words and behaviour.

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Mrsoh39 · 02/04/2019 22:34

From what the Op has said the dog is actually mainly her DD's so why the fuck isn't your daughter doing more to teach HER dog how to behave?

agnurse · 02/04/2019 22:39

It's actually a reflex action to yell when one is hurt.

Your dog needs to be taught how to behave appropriately. If it's your dog, where she goes in your home is your business. BUT if someone is injured by her in an unprovoked encounter, YOU are liable for it.

If your dog is so fragile that you are not able to train her properly, then she probably needs to be rehomed. While I recognize that your dog has a history of being abused, I rather doubt that ONE episode of your DD's partner saying two words will traumatize her that badly.

BackforGood · 02/04/2019 22:50

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU
Incredibly so.

You are claiming to be upset, and childish enough to not be talking to her, when she was the one who was hurt, by an out of control dog launching itself into the air

I'm close to 2 family members who have had rescue dogs who have struggled to settle down. You know what ? As responsible owners, they would have gone in the house first, and settled the dog before ever letting someone else walk in with them. I can't believe you are actually trying to garner sympathy here.

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