DDs partner and I not talking

[user1471453601]

A couple of days ago DD and I were out visiting family. When we got back dog was v exited (she is daughters dog, predominantly). In her.exitment, she launched herself off the sofa, to get to.DD. In the process, she hurt DDs partner. I'm sure it hurt DDs partner because dog has done similar to me.

Dog is a rescue and we were told never to use harsh tones with her, which we haven't in the year we have had her.

DDs partner , after being hurt, responded with "fuck off" in a very aggressive tone.

I was/am very very angry. D dog has had enough negative in her life. I know she doesn't understand the words, but the tone of DDs partner has upset me.

DD would like me to forgive and forget. I still ( four days later) still feel angry that an animal entrusted to our care, with specific instructions not to use a harsh tone, has been subjected to just that

I'm finding hard to let this go.

So, AIBU?

Seriously?
He told a dog to fuck off and you’ve ignored him for days ?
That’s beyond over the top.

I have a rescue. If you never tell the dog off it’s hardly surprising it has poor manners is it. I think you’re being utterly ridiculous

Sorry *she

Sorry but I'm a MASSIVE animal rights activist but I would not bear a grudge over this. People say things in the spur of the moment when they've been hurt or shocked.

You sound very childish.

Your dog caused a guest an injury and you're the angry one? Wow.

If this is a dog which should never be disciplined or reacted to ever I would say that it wasn’t suitable for rehoming and should have been put to sleep.

And incidentally I am a dog lover but this reaction is ridiculous.

If the dog had jumped at a child like that and the parent had posted about it on here people would be suggesting the dog be rehomed/the owner be prosecuted/the dog be destroyed.

It’s a dog. Perspective is most definitely needed here.

You can discipline animals in a variety of ways, you don’t need to yell at them.

YABVU. This is ridiculous.

So if you stub your toe in the kitchen and the dog happens to be around, do you not swear (or shout or even exclaim "ouch!" loudly)? Because the dog is a rescue animal and must not hear harsh words? The dog had no idea that the woman was swearing at it. Did she hit it or lunge towards it or pick it up and swear in it's face? If not, YABVVVU. The dog has long since got over the loud noise it heard from the human, about time you did too.

Oh, and start training the dog not to jump on or around people. You've had it a year which is plenty of time to gently help it to understand what it can and can't do. Just because it's a rescue and might have had a bad start in life does not mean it doesn't need boundaries. In fact, clear boundaries, taught with kindness, actually help a nervous dog to feel happy and secure.

I understand why she may have got a shock and reacted instinctively. I've no clue why you're acting like a twelve year old though. The normal reaction would be to check she was ok, apologise she got hurt, and explain gently thr dog doesn't like harsh tones.

Are you normally a drama llama?

Yabu, it's a reaction! My cat slid off my lap quickly digging her claws in my knees for fear life I shouted sh$t ahh in pain, wasn't aimed at the cat it just bloody hurt. You sound rather dramatic. It didn't sound to me like dd partner was abusing the dog its sounded like she got a fright and it hurt a reaction. Grow up

Your dog hurt her and she's in the wrong for not being ecstatic about it. Why Yes, YABU. Maybe train the damn dog.

Kinda making it all about you aren't you. You said ddog has done this to you and it hurt but you are annoyed your dds gf snapped and swore.

Im wondering if it either was actually a child who did this, and you want to see if messages are different or if this is a reverse. Unless dd gf jumped up and kicked or shouted over the cowering dog this sounds like you are making a big drama.

What's your dd reaction here?

I think people can comment without the personal attacks

www.mumsnet.com/info/netiquette

Haven't read the whole thread but I love my dog more than anything/anyone else in the world so I think YANBU.

I wouldn't forgive someone who spoke harshly to my dog when you've specifically made an effort not to because of her background.

I also have a nervy rescue who we don't/can't shout at so I totally get it

I wouldn't forgive someone who spoke harshly to my dog when you've specifically made an effort not to because of her background

Dog hurts someone who hadn't goaded the dog, wasn't approaching the dog. Dog didn't mean to hurt someone but end result still that the someone got hurt. The someone is in the wrong.

OK...

Dennis,you’re very rigid and flawed in your approach
If you genuinely hold a gripe how your dog is spoken to it’s petty and blinkered

Haven't read the whole thread but I love my dog more than anything/anyone else in the world so I think YANBU

That's actually quite sad. And I say that as a dog lover who believes they are part of the family. But to have no humans you love the same or more, is very sad indeed.

I wouldn't forgive someone who spoke harshly to my dog when you've specifically made an effort not to because of her background.

DirtyDennis If your dog hurt me, intentionally or otherwise, I would probably shout too. Most people would.

And I wouldn’t need, want or ask for your forgiveness for it because I wouldn’t be sorry, and with that attitude I’d make a mental note to avoid you and your animal.

Rescue or not, it needs training not mollycoddling.

Haven't read the whole thread but I love my dog more than anything/anyone else in the world so I think YANBU

That's actually quite sad. And I say that as a dog lover who believes they are part of the family. But to have no humans you love the same or more, is very sad indeed.

I agree, @Bluntness100 I love my 4 cats, but I can't imagine my love for them coming close to my love for my DH and DDs.

It's actually setting yourself up for a lot of heartache to love a pet more than anyone else in the world, as dogs and cats have a very much shorter lifespan than humans.

I have a rescue dog. He was abused badly and starved. It took a while to teach him some manners and if anyone shouted at him he would be really scared.

I understand that it upset you OP, but you need to let it go. Her reaction was just automatic. You need to apologise for the dog hurting her and work something out so it doesn't keep happening.

You're going to need to find a way to get past this unless you want to damage your relationship with your dd. Why don't you speak to dd's partner, apologise for the dog hurting her and explain why you were angry with her, hopefully then she will apologise and you can decide on a way to avoid the situation happening again