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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He should have got her a cab first (before his own)

999 replies

Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 14:35

Hi, in a desperate attempt to find relief from Brexit, we’re here having lunch and discussing my friend’s date last weekend.

Ladies of MN, please may we put it to you for the casting vote as we’re in some disagreement. To cut a longish story short, the date had gone well until they were on Charing Cross Rd and his Uber came first so he got in it and just left my friend standing on the street!

Now he’s texting her to meet again. She’s inclined to not bother, I feel as if I agree with her, but two others here think she should give him another chance (citing excuses such as traffic, it’s hard for cabs to stop, etc).

WIBU? Shouldn’t he have called her a cab and seen her off before just sailing off into the night? By the way, we are all early 40s so she can’t be bothered messing about.

Thankyou in advance.

OP posts:
milienhaus · 27/03/2019 14:37

If she’d also already called an uber and it was moments away then NU, otherwise quite strange behaviour.

Superfragile · 27/03/2019 14:37

So it would be OK for her to get in the cab and leave him standing on the street?? Was it particularly late/dark/rough area?

AlaskanSnow · 27/03/2019 14:37

For me it would depend on the time of night/business of area.

In darkness, in a quiet area - she should have gone first, or he could have let the meter run on his to make sure she got off ok.

In Daylight, in an area with a lot of foot traffic - I dont see why if it was specifically his car that arrived first.

cherrryontop · 27/03/2019 14:37

His Uber would have been assigned to his bank and account and his address?

I don't think he was unreasonable to get in his Uber?

YogaWannabe · 27/03/2019 14:37

I wouldn’t see him again.
Someone I was seeing did this when I was about 18 and I ended it.

Lots will disagree I’m sure but we all have our own expectations and this obviously didn’t meet hers.

adaline · 27/03/2019 14:38

Why can't she wait on her own for a minute?

Myheartbelongsto · 27/03/2019 14:38

She's a grown woman fgs

Sirzy · 27/03/2019 14:39

So they had both ordered taxis to go their own separate ways, his came first so he went. Can’t see an issue with it personally!

blackteasplease · 27/03/2019 14:39

I wouldn't see him again.

When I was younger I would have let this go in the name of "equality". But not now.

SilverySurfer · 27/03/2019 14:39

Is your friend disabled or was it the middle of the night? If not, I assume she was capable of hailing/calling for a taxi so I don't really see the issue.

Gomyownway · 27/03/2019 14:40

When you book an Uber it’s attached to your bank details, and you give them your destination address.

Wouldn’t really be fair on the uber driver to leave him waiting either.

Your friend is Unreasonable.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/03/2019 14:41

If it’s an Uber he would be paying for the journey and the journey is accepted on his destination not hers...

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 27/03/2019 14:41

I don't understand. You can't just swap Ubers can you unless he's going to pay for hers.

So what should he have done? Waited for hers to turn up? Is that the point?

WhoKnewBeefStew · 27/03/2019 14:41

No I wouldn’t see him again.

There’s no way in hell my dh would have ever left me standing on my own. It’s just rude. I know others will disagree and yes, she’s a grown woman etc, but I’d just see it as bloody rude tbh

Original poster
Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 14:41

No he didn’t call her a cab before his own. He just called his, so she had to call her own and then his came first so he buggered off.

Now he wants her to traipse to Hampstead (where he lives) on the weekend, but I bet he won’t send a cab for her. We think this is a “red flag.”

OP posts:
SilverySurfer · 27/03/2019 14:42

What's next? men having to wear capes to place on the ground so the woman can walk over puddles? Hmm

MiddleClassProblem · 27/03/2019 14:42

Why did he need to call her a taxi?

BusterTheBulldog · 27/03/2019 14:42

The Uber is linked to bank account and he’d have put his details in, so his Uber would be expected to go to his house. To swap they’d both need to cancel and rebook which seems silly.

Gomyownway · 27/03/2019 14:42

You can’t order two Uber’s at once

She’s a woman in her 40s. Why is she unable to get her own taxi?

Dungeondragon15 · 27/03/2019 14:43

It depends on where he left her. If it was a busy area with loads of people around then fine. If not, then I wouldn't wanted to see him again if I was her.

LittleKitty1985 · 27/03/2019 14:44

I'd have been annoyed if he had insisted on waiting for me to get my cab first, because it would imply that I'm some kind of weak vulnerable creature that needs a man to protect me at all times!

elizzza · 27/03/2019 14:44

If it was a queue of cabs at a taxi rank and he jumped in the first one then yes, a bit rude. But as they were both waiting for Ubers they had separately ordered, on Charing Cross Road so not a dangerous or secluded area, then I think he was fine and your friend IBU. Was he supposed to leave his Uber driver waiting and possibly holding up traffic? This seems like a very strange reason not to see someone you like again.

BusterTheBulldog · 27/03/2019 14:44

Do you use Uber op? It’s not like calling a cab, you have an app linked to your own details, I would request one for me and Tbh, id expect anyone in London would then order their own via their own app?

bingoitsadingo · 27/03/2019 14:44

Why on earth should he have called her a cab? Unless there's a massive drip feed surely she can speak on the phone or order her own uber?

I wouldn't be bothered being left in that situation, if it was a quiet area in the middle of nowhere that would be different, but in touristy central London it wouldn't bother me at all.

SilverySurfer · 27/03/2019 14:44

He won't send a cab for her

Why the fucik should he? Is she going to send a cab for him when he goes to her house.

Seriously, have we slipped back a couple of centuries overnight and I haven't noticed?