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AIBU?

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Original poster

He should have got her a cab first (before his own)

999 replies

Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 14:35

Hi, in a desperate attempt to find relief from Brexit, we’re here having lunch and discussing my friend’s date last weekend.

Ladies of MN, please may we put it to you for the casting vote as we’re in some disagreement. To cut a longish story short, the date had gone well until they were on Charing Cross Rd and his Uber came first so he got in it and just left my friend standing on the street!

Now he’s texting her to meet again. She’s inclined to not bother, I feel as if I agree with her, but two others here think she should give him another chance (citing excuses such as traffic, it’s hard for cabs to stop, etc).

WIBU? Shouldn’t he have called her a cab and seen her off before just sailing off into the night? By the way, we are all early 40s so she can’t be bothered messing about.

Thankyou in advance.

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 27/03/2019 15:09

Chelsea, Hampstead....oh to be rich!

anyway, back on topic....if she doesn't want to meet at Hampstead, she needs to say so.

I'm actually wondering if she is super rich and perhaps used to a whole different life than I am - hence the "is he sending a car to pick her up". If she lives in a world where people do that for friends, family, dates etc then I guess I have no idea, because I don't live in such a world.

stevie69 · 27/03/2019 15:09

Jesus Christ some women are ducking useless at life.

FFS. I am in no way useless at life because I consider it thoughtful for a guy to make sure that I get in my cab after a night out.

I'm good at life: educated, solvent and, above all, happy Smile

IvanaPee · 27/03/2019 15:10

I’m going to assume you both got married in the 1800s since your dating knowledge is from then.

Tell her not to go on the date. Please spare the poor man!

PrivateCello · 27/03/2019 15:10

When did you last date, in the 1600s

Frenchmontana · 27/03/2019 15:10

Her only concern is, it’s very early days and she doesn’t want to appear like she’ll put up with anything and is desperate.

He will probably think she is an adult.

Travel expenses are for escorts.

Is that what she is?

cherrryontop · 27/03/2019 15:10

Her only concern is, it’s very early days and she doesn’t want to appear like she’ll put up with anything and is desperate.

By arranging and paying for her own transport? That's not desperate, that's a normal everyday task that normal adults manage perfectly fine.

ladybee28 · 27/03/2019 15:10

she doesn’t want to appear like she’ll put up with anything and is desperate

But she IS happy to look like a Victorian-era lump of jelly in distress?

I reckon she should do this man a favour and not go.

FrancisCrawford · 27/03/2019 15:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Circeplease · 27/03/2019 15:11

Are you and your friend from a different culture OP? I’m flabbergasted that normally you would expect to have a cab sent for you or fare paid. This has never been my experience even 20 years ago and things have moved on since then.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 27/03/2019 15:11

“Put up with anything”? He hasn’t done anything wrong and he hasn’t been at all rude.

Quite frankly, your friend is coming across as the red flag people ought to stay away from.

GinAndTings · 27/03/2019 15:11

"Her only concern is, it’s very early days and she doesn’t want to appear like she’ll put up with anything and is desperate"

Don't go - let the poor sod have a lucky escape!

Jessgalinda · 27/03/2019 15:11

stevie69 but cant ever sort your own can out or wait alone for it?

AtLeastThreeDrinks · 27/03/2019 15:11

Is this a joke? He invites her for lunch at his place and you expect him to send a car for her?! It sounds like he's planned a lovely second date.

She lives in London. Where hardly anyone owns a car and everyone uses the very convenient tubes and buses.

On the cab thing, I wouldn't be bothered if he was polite about saying goodbye. You say she thought he was rude –is that purely because he left first? Because in the world of Ubers I don't think that's rude; they're won't hang around for you on a busy London road.

Yutes · 27/03/2019 15:11

I don’t think it’s a red flag to leave before your date as long as you know they ARE getting transport home.

I don’t think it’s polite to not enquire how or if your date is getting home safely. I think as adults, we need to be aware of how we’re getting home and not rely on someone else to do it for us.

As for paying for passage home for your date. No.

Cath2907 · 27/03/2019 15:12

I am a grown woman and can ring my own taxi thank you.

Dollywilde · 27/03/2019 15:12

Assuming Sloane Square, it’s district to embankment and up the northern. Bloody hell.

Actually Chelsea is pretty badly served for public transport, so if it’s difficult for her that’s her bad luck for living in an overpriced soulless awkward place to get to...

tinytemper66 · 27/03/2019 15:12

Oh dear Lord!

MiddleClassProblem · 27/03/2019 15:12

Put up with what? How has she survived so long with out a man? She can’t leave the house without a taxi and can’t order one herself?

mimibunz · 27/03/2019 15:13

She should definitely keep an eye out for future bad manners.

stevie69 · 27/03/2019 15:13

stevie, she was standing on charing cross road, not a dark alley! women do manage to live and work and travel in london even without the help of a gentleman.

I don't care if she was standing in Picadilly Circus. I'm sure she can manage without a 'gentleman's help'. As can I. However, I appreciate a bit of common courtesy.

I'm guessing the views on this will be heavily influenced by age Blush

TeaForDad · 27/03/2019 15:13

"Well normally you would pay a date’s fare home. "

What, why? Shall I give her petrol money and a quid for a twix?

nokidshere · 27/03/2019 15:13

Why didn't she just hail a black cab?

FrancisCrawford · 27/03/2019 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 15:14

She says what you can do, when an uber comes, is ask to change the destination. I’ve done this loads actually - they just reset it for you. So he could have done that?

She has never been left in the street before on a date. It’s not common really, is it? Even her ex wouldn’t have buggered off and he wasn’t much to write home about (her words).

Anyway, do people think she should get him to come her way before she goes up there?

OP posts:
stevie69 · 27/03/2019 15:15

stevie69 but cant ever sort your own can out or wait alone for it?

FFS. Yes, of course I can. I still think it's common courtesy for a guy to make sure that I'm OK to get home after a night out.

We don't all live in London where things are nice and safe .....

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