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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He should have got her a cab first (before his own)

999 replies

Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 14:35

Hi, in a desperate attempt to find relief from Brexit, we’re here having lunch and discussing my friend’s date last weekend.

Ladies of MN, please may we put it to you for the casting vote as we’re in some disagreement. To cut a longish story short, the date had gone well until they were on Charing Cross Rd and his Uber came first so he got in it and just left my friend standing on the street!

Now he’s texting her to meet again. She’s inclined to not bother, I feel as if I agree with her, but two others here think she should give him another chance (citing excuses such as traffic, it’s hard for cabs to stop, etc).

WIBU? Shouldn’t he have called her a cab and seen her off before just sailing off into the night? By the way, we are all early 40s so she can’t be bothered messing about.

Thankyou in advance.

OP posts:
ColeHawlins · 27/03/2019 14:52

Also, he knows she has no car, so why expect her to travel to north London when he could organise something more centrally or go her way?

Nipping all over London by public transport to socialise is quite normal.

But if she would prefer to meet centrally, she should say so.

IvanaPee · 27/03/2019 14:52

Yes it’s a good point that you may not be able to order two Ubers at the same time. But still, do you not think he should have got her one rather than just sorting himself

What’s wrong with her that she’s unable to get an Uber? It’s the easiest thing in the world to do.

Also, why the fuck would he send a cab for her? He invited her to his. She can say no.

This is absolutely ridiculous!

reallybadidea · 27/03/2019 14:52

I think the date would be well advised not to see your friend again, she sounds like a princess and a bit bonkers.

IvanaPee · 27/03/2019 14:53

If he was my friend I’d be telling him to run for the hills!

Entitled, high-maintenance, batshit!

HappyPunky · 27/03/2019 14:53

I wouldn't see someone again who did that on a first date. Not that I cant wait for a taxi alone and if I was with a female friend we'd go if ours came first but you read so much about how relationships go downhill following the honeymoon period it would give me the impression that he put himself first without any consideration.

LaurieFairyCake · 27/03/2019 14:53

I think this might seem reasonable to 'send a cab' if you don't live in London.

If she lives in London then it's normal to choose where to meet -Hampsteads great so they've chosen there and it's dead easy to get to.

If she doesn't want to travel to meet him then they could have chosen somewhere centrally Confused

It seems fine to meet at his manor, then next date meet at hers - then they can both show each other their 'areas' (fnarr fnarr) before the next date centrally

I can't fathom why it's weird he got in his taxi and left her unless she's from outside London. Completely safe area Confused

missmoz · 27/03/2019 14:53

I really wouldn't have noticed this...would expect an adult of either gender to be able to make their way home unless very drunk

IvanaPee · 27/03/2019 14:53

OMG! His Uber came first. To Charring Cross. He did nothing wrong.

ColeHawlins · 27/03/2019 14:54

As for the Uber, I hate Uber and won't use it, but it's easy enough to hail a cab in that part of London. Or stroll to Leicester Sq.

Genderwitched · 27/03/2019 14:54

Maybe he could have waited for hers to turn up before ordering his, but to be honest it was Charing Cross Road and not the back of beyond. I would have got the tube.

This is certainly not 'red flag' territory, not even close. She may well have to lower her expectations, nobody's perfect!!

As for Hampstead Heath, it's lovely there, perfectly good tube station. How on earth does she normally get around?

Original poster
Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 14:54

So far the votes seem to be 50/50?

OP posts:
SallyWD · 27/03/2019 14:54

I don't see why your friend who's a fully grown woman in her 40s seems so dependent on this man arranging her transport home on the first date? It's up to her to book a taxi. Has she never stood for a few minutes on her own before? How strange.

FenellaMaxwell · 27/03/2019 14:55

I don’t get why you expect him to ‘summon a carriage’ for her. Nobody has a car in London. That’s why there’s the tube. Is this your friend, OP?

He should have got her a cab first (before his own)
Dollywilde · 27/03/2019 14:55

Jfc you and get sound like hard work.

Hampstead is on the bloody northern line. Get a grip.

MiddleClassProblem · 27/03/2019 14:55

Most of us don’t travel across London in a car... it’s not an odd assumption. And however we get anywhere most of us can organise our own transportation...

pootyisabadcat · 27/03/2019 14:55

Yes it’s a good point that you may not be able to order two Ubers at the same time. But still, do you not think he should have got her one rather than just sorting himself?

No, because Uber is linked to your bank account! Why should he pay for her transport?

I do agree about meeting some place equidistant early on, and for this reason I wouldn't bother seeing him again, but the whole car thing it ridiculous! It's LONDON, you can use public transport.

IvanaPee · 27/03/2019 14:55

Are you on a wind up?!

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 27/03/2019 14:55

It really is up to the individual to get themselves safely to and from their dates, sorry.

And whats with the "I bet he won't send a cab for her"? What on earth is stopping her from arranging her own transport?

If she doesn't want to go to Hampstead just fucking say so and suggest somewhere else instead. Your friend sounds like hard work.

timeisnotaline · 27/03/2019 14:55

Doesn’t everyone order their own uber? Isn’t that the point?
And why would he send a cab for her?! I’m 36 and married and I wouldn’t expect my own husband to ‘send a cab’ for me (in circumstances where that might be relevant) because I can book my own uber in 30 seconds.

radishingravish · 27/03/2019 14:55

I am sure your friend is very capable of ordering her own taxi and traveling to Hampstead on her own. If Hampstead is too far for her to go then she can say that and judge by his response whether it is a 'red flag'.

IvanaPee · 27/03/2019 14:56

I don’t think it’s 50/50 Hmm

JellyBaby666 · 27/03/2019 14:56

Send a cab for her? Where does she live? Is she an invalid? Can she not get a train?!

If she thinks its too far, then just say 'X is a lovely place for lunch, I'd love to go with you if you fancy meeting somewhere central?' honestly, he might know a local place he loves? Bloody hell.

BlueSkiesLies · 27/03/2019 14:56

His Uber came first. He got in it. That’s how it works.

Jesus Christ some women are ducking useless at life.

Original poster
Jalila07 · 27/03/2019 14:56

She lives in Chelsea, so the point about the Uber was that he could easily hi her way this weekend. Or neutral territory. But no, he wants her to go to Hampstead, knowing she has no car. Ok she can get her own Uber or the tube, but this is not a great impression really is it? Or not?

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 27/03/2019 14:57

What if he ordered her a cab and she then has to pay cab prices when she was hoping to save money in public transport?

Why is she giving out her home address for him to arrange all these taxis for her?

Red flags all over but not for him!