To ask you for a child-friendly joke?

[Stickladylove88]

Dd has to bring a joke in for Comic Relief and I don't know any good clean ones that Primary kids would understand! Does anyone have any suggestions?

what's brown and sticky?

what did the skeletkn say at lunch?
"bone"appetite

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Ididap
Ididap who?
Urgh....... ( I did a poo)

What do you call a Scottish cloakroom attendant?

Angus McOatup.

What do you get if you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangaroo?
Woolly jumpers

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Great if holes all over Australia

Where do you weigh a whale?
At a whaleweigh station

Great BIG holes

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

Brown and sticky is my fave joke ever.

Where do you go to get pies weighed?
Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh a pie..

What did the shy pebble say?
I wish a was a little boulder.

Why has a giraffe got such a long neck?
Because his feet smell.

What's the difference between a post box and an elephant?
(Dunno)
I won't ask you to post a letter then!

What do ghosties use to wash their hair?
ShamBOO!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
No you're a poo!

How many elephants can you get in a mini?
Four - two in the back and two in the front.

How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?

Poke em on.

Why did the starfish run away? Because the sea weed.

Q: What do you call two thieves?
A: A pair of knickers!

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk!

Q: What do you get if you dial 666?
A: An upside down policeman!

(This last went down well in a Sunday school talent show but might not transfer)

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

DOUG!

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

CLIFF!

What goes black white black white black white?

A penguin rolling down a hill!

What do you call a mass without a spade on his head?
Douglas

What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head ?
Russel

Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the lane and turned into a field.

How did tigger get his head stuck down the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh.

How do you get into hogwarts?

Through the Dumbledore.

Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow.

Bugger, sorry, should have RTFT first.

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

How do you make Lady Gaga really Cross?

Poke her face.

What will Postman Pat be called when he retires?

Pat!

What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

My nephew told me that one when he was about 8 years old.

What’s green and hangs on trees?
Giraffe snot.