To ask you for a child-friendly joke?

[Stickladylove88]

Dd has to bring a joke in for Comic Relief and I don't know any good clean ones that Primary kids would understand! Does anyone have any suggestions?

Not rtft but in a similar vein to one of the first replies:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who? (You're a poo)
No! You're a poo!

Knock knock
Who's there?
Beats
Beats who?
Beats me!

Place marking for these as I always draw a blank when DS4 asks me for jokes! :)

Which bird is best at drying the dishes?

A Tea T-Owl.

Got to be the wide mouth frog!
The wide mouth frog is hopping through the jungle and meets a giraffe he says (put a finger in both sides of your mouth )
“Hello. I’m a wide mouth frog and I eat flies, who are you and what do eat?”
Giraffe says “hello, I’m a giraffe and I eat leaves”
WMF says (again fingers pulling mouth wide)
“Oh thank you, goodbye”
Hops on and meets a monkey
“Hello I’m a WMF etcetc”
“I’m a monkey and I eat fruit”
Add as many animals as you like.
WMF then meets a crocodile
Same question
Croc says “I’m a crocodile and I eat wide mouthed frogs”
Remove fingers from mouth, purse up lips really tight and say
“Ooo, you don’t see many of those about do you?”

Omg I LOVED that joke when I was little Benidorm - had totally forgotten it existed but knew it as soon as I read your first line

It’s a classic AuntMarch 😁

Why did the Baker have brown hands?
He needed a poo!!

Huh? I don't get that baker one?

My older DC did this on me, took me weeks to suss it!
More a riddle or a prank than a joke, he loved getting one over on us.

DC: Knock knock

Adult: who's there?

DC: Knock knock

Adult: who's there?

DC: Knock knock!

Adult: what?!! Who's there?

DC: knock knock!

Adult: you're not doing the joke properly.

DC: No, you're not doing the joke properly!

He was right though - it was me doing the joke wrong.

The correct response from the adult, should have been "knock knock - who?!"

I thought this was the most annoying thing ever, he thought it was hilarious.

Come to think of it. I never found out what the punchline was! (I think perhaps I was the punchline!)

What wobbles in the sky?

A jellycopter.

furry should be kneaded a poo

Love this thread 🤣
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
Halloumi (helllo me)

What do you call a one legged gingerbread man?
Limp biscuit

My favourite is the fish with no eyes one some said up thread 🤣🤣

Furry
He kneaded a poo

Ah ok!

What's Beethoven's favourite fruit?

BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAAAAA!

What do you do it you have a trumpet in the back garden?

Root it oot!

What happens when a pig flies?

The price of bacon goes up.

(As told to me by my 7 year old)

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. Followed immediately by What's blue and fluffy? Very cold pink fluff.

Not child friendly, but my absolute favourite.

What's pink and hard?

A pig with a flick knife.

@highheelsandbobblehats pig with a flick knife is my favourite joke ever.

I need to share these with DD - she understands what a joke is, but can't make them up herself. Her latest 'joke' (belted out at full volume in the supermarket) was 'Daddy!! What if you pooed on a carrot?!' followed by hysterical laughter.

@jezzifishie lots of these jokes have made me grin - but I actually loled at your DD's effort!

I always thought it was green and hard
A frog with a flick knife
But I see now how pink is funnier 😁

Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill.
To get to the bottom.

What do you do if you see a herd of elephants run over the hill towards you ?
Run.
What do you do if you see a herd of elephants wearing sunglasses run over the hill towards you?
Nothing you don't recognise them.

Why do elephants paint their nails read?
So they can hide in cherry trees.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Monkeys picking cherries.

What's brown and sticky is still my favourite.

What do elves learn at school?

.... The elfabet (alphabet)

Balls not nails

What's yellow and sticky and swings through trees?

Tarzipan