To ask you for a child-friendly joke?

[Stickladylove88]

Dd has to bring a joke in for Comic Relief and I don't know any good clean ones that Primary kids would understand! Does anyone have any suggestions?

I’m guessing I can’t tell the one about the gynaecologist who redecorated his hallway through the letterbox.

What's green and red and goes round and round?

Kermit in a blender!

Sorry maybe not suitable for little ones 😂

The worst pub I have ever been in was called The Fiddle.

It really was a vile inn.

Boom tish

How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a green elephant?
Expected answer, "with a green elephant gun?"
No, you put it in the fridge until it turns blue and then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

Did you hear about the man whose ears had fallen off, but they managed to transplant some pigs ears on for him. He said they were fine, he was hearing well with them, but there was a lot of crackling.

These are good! Thank you!! Can't be too wordy my dd might struggle with it!

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the p is silent!

How do you make an apple puff?
Chase it round the garden.

A visual one. Stand with one arm rounded to your side, as if you were carrying a roll of carpet under it, and flap the other arm up and down like a wing.
Ask "What's this?"
Answer, it's a seagull on the way back from the chip shop.

ask Alexa for an animal or dog joke

Why can’t the T. rex clap?

Cos it’s dead

I used to be a Warewolf, but I'm alright noooooooooow.

Bloody hell, Is that the time. I'd better get my coat and hat and scarf and gloves.

Knock knock

^Who's there?&

Interrupting sheep

Interrupting sh... BAAAAAAAA!!!!

This is my kids' favourite at the moment, along with the interrupting cat, dog, etc etc

What's the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish!

Where do skeletons swim?
The Dead Sea

As told by my nine year old this morning!

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator!

Why doesn't the Queen wave with this hand (wave with your left hand )

Because it's my hand.

What's yellow and dangerous?
Shark- infested custard!

How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter!

I just did interrupting sheep to dh. My inner nine year old is very amused

Why are pirates called pirates?

They just Arrrrrrrr

My daughter is terrible at jokes. I picked up a joke book from the kids section in Waterstones.

Knock knock
Who's there?
You know
You know who?
AVADA KEDAVRA!!

Love these!

My all time favourite joke...

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick

A baldy cat got on the bus.
The driver said where's your fare.

I am place marking! No shame here!