Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To advise my daughter to marry rich.

308 replies

miyty · 02/03/2019 14:25

Ok hear me out.

I will be advising my daughters to look at a person's job and prospects and to really think about what life will look like with someone in a poorly paid career/ job.

Im not saying that this is the main focus- not at all. Merely it is something to definitely think strong and hard about.

Looking at all my friends and family. The ones that are financially well off and have a lot more life choices for themselves and a better quality of life for their kids too have married men who have very good jobs. They themselves are mostly in mediocre jobs and a few of them have never even worked.

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 02/03/2019 14:26

You would be better off advising her to earn well and not need a man.

What else have you armed her with? A Cordon Bleu cookery course? Hmm

Sunshinegirl82 · 02/03/2019 14:27

I'd advise to marry kind and think about their own career choices carefully.

HarperIsBazaar · 02/03/2019 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ErictheGuineaPig · 02/03/2019 14:27

Given that it's the 21st century, how about you encourage her to be independently well off? There is absolutely no way I'm going to encourage my girls to be dependent on a man for wealth.

Corrag · 02/03/2019 14:28

Alternatively, maybe you could advise your daughters to consider their own careers/prospects so that can be "financially well off" without being reliant on a man.

Tigger03 · 02/03/2019 14:28

It depends how you define ‘marry rich’ . Sole aim to marry a millionaire is not a great intention, however there is a lot to be said for marrying someone who works hard and has a stable income.

On the other hand, it is absolutely important your daughter works hard for herself. There is no guarantee she will meet someone / get married and I have a massive sense of security knowing I earn enough / have my own pension to be comfortable in my own right, and no one can take that away.

mimibunz · 02/03/2019 14:29

Financial security is so important, at least to me, but your daughters shouldn’t ignore their own education and careers. Most rich men want their wives to be their equals in wealth and career.

ReaganSomerset · 02/03/2019 14:29

Massive sense of deja vu. Have you posted this before?

CountessVonBoobs · 02/03/2019 14:29

I'd advise to marry kind and think about their own career choices carefully.

^this.

A gilded cage is still a cage. She should marry a kind, hardworking person with good values who shares the load, and secure her future through being able to support herself.

ReaganSomerset · 02/03/2019 14:31

No, wait, sorry. It was worded differently.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2899571-AIBU-to-think-we-should-encourage-our-daughters-to-marry-well

Jakethekid · 02/03/2019 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Youmadorwhat · 02/03/2019 14:31

No! Advise her to work hard and make her own money! I can see what you mean but all ppl are liable to Lose a job, change jobs etc etc. and just because a man earns lots doesn’t mean he is good at managing it!! So I would be teaching her to find someone who is sensible with money and has a solid head on his shoulders, someone who is kind, giving and understanding etc etc. someone with good morals, someone who is not badly tempered or abusive in any way and treats her as an equal.

nanbread · 02/03/2019 14:31

Of course you'd be much better off advising her to work on her career rather then rely on a man, but I agree being married to a lazy person who doesn't like working wouldn't be advisable.

How can you tell what will happen though? My sister supported her low earning DH's change of career and he now does very well for himself. Other sister married a v successful guy who is also an arsehole, she had years of misery and then he left her...

Soontobe60 · 02/03/2019 14:32

My DH has a rubbish paid job, however he works very hard, hardly has time off, has supported me when I've worked extra, been a great husband and dad.
My 2 DDs have chosen men with different prospects, but nothing men are devoted to my DDs, work hard, support them and they are all very happy. My DDs were brought up to be very independent, and they are.

TwoRoundabouts · 02/03/2019 14:32

Encourage your daughters to be self-sufficient in their earnings and to marry someone who is kind if they get married.

My mother found out the hard way due to being widowed in her early 20s what happens if you don't sort out your own career and earning potential. Other women I know and have worked with, have found out if they marry rich they can easy marry someone who is abusive including financially so when they get divorced they are left with SFA.

Oh and male dominated professions tend to have a higher earning potential.

itbemay1 · 02/03/2019 14:33

I have advised my dd to be financially independent and forward thinking.

NoSquirrels · 02/03/2019 14:33

They themselves are mostly in mediocre jobs and a few of them have never even worked.

Advise them not to be these people. That'd be better.

CalmDownPacino · 02/03/2019 14:33

How about advising her to work hard at school and college and get a good job so she has her own money. Geez what year is it.

gwenneh · 02/03/2019 14:33

It's the running joke among my single friends that I head "the Committee" and that prospective romantic partners for them better be ready to submit a resume and have an interview.

It's not "marry rich" so much as it is "date someone who treats their career and opportunities the same way you treat yours." but if we're looking at it cynically, sure, it could be seen as "marry rich."

Bluntness100 · 02/03/2019 14:34

Seriously?

I advised my daughter to study hard and go into a lucrative profession she loved and to marry for love.

Each to their own.

Newyearnewname2019 · 02/03/2019 14:34

I have two daughters. I will be advising them to marry someone they're happy with. Someone who would be their best friend and love them. I will also be advising them to earn their own money.

FraggleRocking · 02/03/2019 14:38

Or your daughters could focus on their own advancement. Then maybe one day down the line those qualities will attract someone who shares their values.

EmeraldShamrock · 02/03/2019 14:38

No, not necessarily rich or middle class.
I am not encouraging them to aim for things we're not, if they find someone they love rich or middle class great.
I will advise my DC to work hard, go to college, I'll support them.
I will definitely advise them to seek a responsible reliable partner, someone who will work hard for their family but is kind, loving.
You do not need to be rich, just comfortable.

berrybubbles · 02/03/2019 14:38

I wouldn’t advise marry rich, but I’d definitely advise not to enter into a relationship with someone that’s unemployed!

MadameJimJam · 02/03/2019 14:40

I would bring her up to get a good education and have a good career.

a) This is the right thing to do anyway for her life.

b) It will further your plan by making it massively more likely that she will meet lots of high-earning men.

Swipe left for the next trending thread