To advise my daughter to marry rich.

[miyty]

Ok hear me out.

I will be advising my daughters to look at a person's job and prospects and to really think about what life will look like with someone in a poorly paid career/ job.

Im not saying that this is the main focus- not at all. Merely it is something to definitely think strong and hard about.

Looking at all my friends and family. The ones that are financially well off and have a lot more life choices for themselves and a better quality of life for their kids too have married men who have very good jobs. They themselves are mostly in mediocre jobs and a few of them have never even worked.

[MRex]

My parents advised us to get a good education and a career. We all did and are more than capable of looking after ourselves. What's needed in a partner is a shared sense of humour, kindness and spare goals.

Targeting a man for money is degrading, pathetic and more likely to lead to problems.

[MRex]

*shared goals, not spare

[TitsAndTomatoes]

Maybe you shouldnt tell her to do anything except work hard and graft her own career. Be independent. Have your own financial security. And when she does, she will most likley find a partner with similar outlook in life to her. That's how itll work!

Money isnt everything. DH proposed when i was on a 14k a year trainee wage. We managed to buy a house, get married, have 3 luxury holidays, further our careers and have a baby in the 4 years since. I think id have told him to fuck off to the far side off fuck if his attitue was to nit marry me till i earned what im on now.

[NotSureThisIsWhatIWant]

I would advise her never to become financially dependant on a man, to earn her keep and to always ensure she can provide for the kids she chooses to have so she can provide for her family of things turn bad, so she can leave if her marriage if things turn bad.

I would be advising my son to look for an equal, for someone to pulls her weight as proper women do.

[TatianaLarina]

One off poster or journalist?

[SilverySurfer]

How depressing. We live in the 21st Century and your only ambition for your DD is that she marries someone rich. No matter if he's an abuser or a cheater, you obviously don't care as long as he's rich.

I pretty much agree with everyone else, equip her to work towards making herself rich.

[AppleCrisps]

They themselves are mostly in mediocre jobs and a few of them have never even worked.

Fantastic goal for your daughter to strive for, OP! Bloody ridiculous.

[Stickerrocks]

OP has left the building...

[Shootfirstaskquestionslater]

How about advising your daughters to work hard and get good jobs that gives them a good living instead of sponging off other people. Money isn’t the be all and end all.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Are you even for real?

If so, I'm sorry that you have daughters, you are doing them an enormous disservice. I hope your husband, if you has one, doesn't realise what a vapid, silly woman he's tethered himself to.

[MrHaroldFry]

Oh my! What fundamentally flawed thinking you have. You should encourage her to do work that is meaningful to her and hopefully pays well. She may choose to be the breadwinner; by choice not by generational stereotypes. In essence she should be, and be encouraged to be the best she can be in all areas of her life. They should be each other's cheer squad!
She should marry someone she likes and loves knowing she will have a full partner who will shoulder the domestic drudgery 50/50. She should marry someone unfailing kind and caring.

My motto is, it is better to not marry at all than to marry the wrong person!

[Uptheapplesandpears]

I remember that goddaughter childcare one. It was chilling.

[NotSureThisIsWhatIWant]

By the way, I’m saying this as the ex wife of a rich man. We were never so happy as when we were in an equal footing. As soon I became a SAHM everything went out of balance, volunteering or working part time in shitty jobs that could be done in school hours didn’t do anything to bring my then husband’s respect or my self esteem back.

I am now happily enjoying life with a man who struggles with money from time to time as much as I do, so I have become a team member rather than “wifey-doesn’t-get-it”. And I don’t have to tell anyone that I’m “staying for the sake of the children”, I’m free to leave at any time 😉

[NameChanger22]

I'm advising mine to do what I did - buy a house young, be mortgage free by 30, be self-sufficient and never marry (unless she happens to meet a million who is also kind and generous and wants to share everything - the chances of this are very slim).

[GreatWesternValkyrie]

Do you have a son Op? Do tell us what you’re advising him 🤯

[NameChanger22]

*millionaire.

[Sparklesocks]

I’d rather teach my daughter the importance of finding a career and retaining financial independence so she can marry for love.

[Crinkle77]

I would rather be with someone less well paid but happy than someone rich but he miserable.

[Switsy]

I'm advising mine to do what I did - buy a house young, be mortgage free by 30, be self-sufficient and never marry

I mean that's quite limiting too. Realistically how many people can expect to be mortgage free by 30? Unless you buy somewhere where houses are really cheap but then these places tend to be economically depressed so not great for the career. And never marry?

[FuzzyShadowChatter]

I don't think it's wrong to be somewhat practically minded. As others have said, financially responsible behaviour and similar/compatible values around money and careers I think are one solid part of good long term relationships. One only has to look at the relationship forum here to see the mess money issues cause many and how quickly love flickers in such situations.

I wouldn't specifically look at career prospects - I know only a few people who are still doing now what they were doing or were training to do 10 or so years ago. Some of that is difficult times, but those who have a good attitude to dealing with money well and in coping with change works even if having to deal with the difficulties of being out of work.

I very much wouldn't think it's reasonable to specifically say to marry rich. That comes across as very cynical and trying to explain ones' own choices rather than advice. When I was younger, some women like my mother who would say things like 'it's just as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor man' but more than a few of them were miserable in relationships with men with high paying jobs. There were a lot odd idioms around marriage - like the previously mentioned 'marry for wealth and you'll work for it' and 'marry a man who loves you more than you love him' usually with discussions of how you'll excuse their bullshit less that way. It was a very odd place for relationship advice.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

My advice is to be self sufficient and marry someone who is hardworking and has ambition and will do anything for you

[KatharinaRosalie]

Daily Mail OP hasn't been back I see

[Oliversmumsarmy]

If you marry purely for money you will earn every penny

[Bishalisha]

YABU.

You’d be better off putting an emphasis on the importance of education, focusing on a rewarding and well paid career that makes them happy, always aiming to be financially independent and not settling for just anyone.

Your mates in their mediocre jobs or who have never worked will be right up shit creek if their husbands decide to leave, turn out abusive, or die unexpectedly

[RomanyQueen1]

YABU. We've been married 26 years, together for 30 and are together for love.
we have no money and never have, we don't care as we love one another, and no amount of money would be more appealing than what we have.
Encourage your dd to marry for love, to do well so she has options other than marrying for money, that's akin to prostitution, surely.