To not leave DD with batshit DM alone

[theymaynotmeantobuttheydo]

DM has no concept of danger and thinks nothing bad will ever happen to her. I often question how I survived my childhood with no physical injuries. Not a single broken bone or hospital visit...

There are (unconfirmed) rumours that she once gave my cousins 9 month old a sip of coke.

She lives localish to us and would have the kids DD6 and DD3 at the drop of the hat but I just don't trust her.. DH thinks I'm crazy as we could be off having a whale of the time but...

We use nursery for childcare.

I left DD3 for about 3 hours one morning as I had an adhoc work meeting and she put her in DS's forward facing booster seat for a non urgent car journey a mile away to collect something that could have waited. She "thought she was old enough to face forward now as she's big enough"

DD3 had a very minor scratch and I asked her to get some savlon and before i knew it she was applying some dodgy antibiotic cream to "take the redness away"
Oh when One DD was born she shoved some honey in her mouth at a few days old (some batshit cultural custom) before I could stop her. She has no boundaries. She can't be stopped or reasoned with. I had to insist she covered up her 6ft deep pond after she persisted with the fact I had never drowned in it as being a good enough reason to leave it.

My children need protecting from her. AIBU? I suspect not but DH thinks I am OTT!

She doesn’t sound completely batshit. Just like a normal GM who might firm instructions.

I don't know, do you have any other examples?

The pond is the only thing that sounds really dangerous to me.
3 is borderline for a high back booster, I probably wouldn't stress about it.
Honey sounds like ignorance.

Is this a reverse?

Just to add we have told her off about car seats before and she loves to complain about how squashed the 3 year old looks rear facing and how cruel it is. She knew full when I'd be pissed off and she did it anyway.

She is lawless.

You are over reacting.

Ooh I just remembered the other week when she offered DD3 a choice out of A BOX OF BUTTON BATTERIES

3 & 6 year olds are pretty robust, I'm sure they'd be fine with her.

Apart from the pond, non of this sounds bad. Every three year old I know sits in a front facing car seat. A sip of coke isn't really the end of the world! I think you should lighten up a bit.

A 3 year old rear facing? That’s ridiculous. Does that not stop at about a year?

Can you explain about the batteries?

Lawless for using a FF car seat

I think you're batshit not your mother

Rear facing is safer. That doesn't mean forward facing is unsafe. The law hasn't changed yet. My parents have a forward facing seat snd I'm OK with this, they only use it on local journeys in the city - no motorway etc.

The honey is bad but did she know? I didn't know before I had a baby.

The pond is dangerous but I guess it depends on how often they visit and if she can give one on one attention and takes them in to answer the door and when she goes to the loo etc.

From what you've said, it sounds like she may be a bit lax and you may be a bit over protective compared to average (and there is nothing wrong with being like that with a baby btw, accidents do happen) and it's quite a gulf in your parenting styles

She offered your child button batteries? Really?

She was getting some batteries for a toy and has hundreds in a box and asked DD to try and find the correct ones for the toy!

I am probably anxiety ridden and OTT as I spent my childhood worrying for the both of us

Yep none of these sound that bad. Even the pond if she is determined to supervise. You sound a bit hysterical but maybe there is more to this than you are saying?

I can imagine a constant drip of events getting more dangerous each time until we eventually agree with you

YANBU - If you don’t trust her you don’t need to leave your children with her. They are your kids.

So long as she was supervising your dd with the batteries then I think that's OK.

It does sound like you have very different parenting styles.

You made it sound like to eat?
Still think you are still over reacting

Honestly you sound completely neurotic.

She asked her to find the right batteries.. I'm pretty certain a 3 year old wouldn't interpret that as 'find button batteries and swallow them'.. all I would do is say 'oh watch her when she has those they can be a choking hazard' not decide she was insane and dangerous!!

I don't think it's a miracle you survived, I think she's a much better parent than you give her credit for.

Sounds a bit dramatic on your part OP from what you’ve said here.

Honestly you sound like you're over reacting but at the end of the day they're your kids and if you don't want to leave then with her fair enough... in your shoes I'd be happy to have a break with some free childcare!

I wouldn't go as far as your children need protecting from her, none of what you have said makes her sound like a monster.

If you don't want her to babysit, then don't have her babysit. You dont need to make a big deal about it. My daughter goes to nursery because I don't agree with the way my in laws look after children. Whenever they have brought up the fact they could babysit I always just say 'thankyou, but she enjoys nursery' and just leave it as that. The ethos of the nursery my daughter attends is very much the same as mine. I absolutely would not compromise on her childcare