To not leave DD with batshit DM alone

[theymaynotmeantobuttheydo]

DM has no concept of danger and thinks nothing bad will ever happen to her. I often question how I survived my childhood with no physical injuries. Not a single broken bone or hospital visit...

There are (unconfirmed) rumours that she once gave my cousins 9 month old a sip of coke.

She lives localish to us and would have the kids DD6 and DD3 at the drop of the hat but I just don't trust her.. DH thinks I'm crazy as we could be off having a whale of the time but...

We use nursery for childcare.

I left DD3 for about 3 hours one morning as I had an adhoc work meeting and she put her in DS's forward facing booster seat for a non urgent car journey a mile away to collect something that could have waited. She "thought she was old enough to face forward now as she's big enough"

DD3 had a very minor scratch and I asked her to get some savlon and before i knew it she was applying some dodgy antibiotic cream to "take the redness away"
Oh when One DD was born she shoved some honey in her mouth at a few days old (some batshit cultural custom) before I could stop her. She has no boundaries. She can't be stopped or reasoned with. I had to insist she covered up her 6ft deep pond after she persisted with the fact I had never drowned in it as being a good enough reason to leave it.

My children need protecting from her. AIBU? I suspect not but DH thinks I am OTT!

What's not useful is people continuously posting how rear-facing is ludicrous as the kids 'look uncomfortable' etc, disregaring the safety aspects and having zero experience of a child rear-facing. And being incredibly rude to the OP for her choices of putting safety first. I've actually been responding to deeply sarcastic and unhelpful comments such as 'why only until 4 and not 74'. It's obvious why if anyone would rub their braincells together and think about it, but just because it wasn't known about when they made their choices it's deemed a suitable topic for ridicule and scorn. Even if it's a defence mechanism as somehow they think it's an inferred criticism, I will call people out on it, I will respond to sarcasm with sarcasm and I'm fine with being called hysterical as I have a thick skin If it makes one person consider RF for longer then jobs a good'un.

How come pregnantforever can post that she thinks someone sounds batshit and I get deleted for saying the same thing??

And I shouldn't have even responded to how a 7ft garden pond is OK because some people live near the sea because it was too ridiculous. That did make me slightly hysterical. Fair cop on that one

You sound very defensive Cheetahssitonfajitas perhaps this must be a sensitive topic for you.

Anyway, I dont agree with anyone scorning people however I have to say that parents these days are a tad too protective and it seems like a lot would rather their child be wrappes in bubble wrap and hidden away from the big scary world. The OP seems to have some anxieties that I feel she should work through as it just doesnt seem very nice the way she thinks of her mother.

Here we go it's the old mumsnet trope of telling people they have anxiety if they follow current advice. Which has changed since her mum raised her, and that's OK! It doesn't mean she has anxiety nor that she is over protective. I don't know a single parent of my generation that would be happy about anything she gave an example of. Are all of my peers similarly sufgering from anxiety? No. Are our children being wrapped in cotton wool? Also no, but a 3 year old deserves someone to limit, within reason, the risks they are exposed to until they learn some sense of self-preservation. That includes being kept away from large ponds, things that can kill them if they put them in their mouth (as 3 year olds are very crafty and fast at doing) etc.
She clearly does have a poor opinion of her mother and it's likely due to the way she was raised. She's now trying to prevent that happening to her own child. Any grandparent that ignores their daughter's way of parenting and rides rough shod because they think they know better needs to not have unsupervised access. Even if OP did have over-the-top rules, it's her child and her rules.
I am defensive about the previous generation stubbornly thinking they know best and in turn being defensive just because things have changed over the years, because I have experience of it and it's bloody exhausting.

Well @StreetwiseHercules if it was possible it would be great.
It's ok, not everyone prioritises their children's safety I guess

@PengAly you're actually being quite snide and unpleasant. You seem to be the one with the problem tbh.

Totally agree with @Cheetahssitonfajitas and to be honest I think forward facing before age 2 is neglectful considering the research. Personally I rear face till they are too tall, and if anyone wants to mock that I'm fine with that, working in a paed hospital and seeing the injuries is enough for me.

I really cannot fathom how any part of my posts were rude or snide??? But whatever, Im out.
I forgot this is Mumsnet where apparently we arent allowed to disagree dont worry I will leave you all to it. I apologise for giving my honest opinion on the internet.

Think it was more passive-aggressive tbh. But it's kind of rude to insinuate someone has mental health issues because you don't agree with them prioritising their child's safety over their mum's feelings.

But it's kind of rude to insinuate someone has mental health issues because you don't agree with them prioritising their child's safety over their mum's feelings.

I wasnt the only one to say this but you chose to only call me rude. I was basing it off the way OP wrote her post. Are you one of those people that stigmatize mental health issues? The fact that you see anxiety as an insult is quite judgmental... No i was not being passive agressive, i was just giving an opinion.
You i the other hand were making a lot of unnesesary sarcastic comments but obviously im in the wrong for saying what loads of others said on the thread and for giving an opinion.

I don't stigmatize mental health issues but I do take umbrage when they are diagnosed by an internet stranger when not invited to. You used anxiety as an insult in a very passive-aggressive and uninvited manner and I have called you out on it. You can try and flip that back on me if you like but we both know the truth of that.
I have engaged with you directly as you did to me first, by tagging me and accusing me of hysteria for my opinions and defence of both the OP and of nationally recognised safety guidelines. So I have answered to that. Any other posters that have diagnosed OP with anxiety are also being unreasonable. It's gaslighting. She has legitimate concerns and to respond to those with an armchair diagnosis on her MH is rude.
I respond directly to sarcasm with sarcasm.

And basing an anxiety diagnosis off the OP's turn of phrase in her post is not defensible. Anxiety is a serious and debilitating MH issue and not a phrase to be bandied about willy nilly to try and put someone down.

You have seriously misread my posts. I reccomended she seek help. In what universe does that equate to an insult? Yes, im fully aware of the seriousness of mental health issues. And what is with that "truth" BS? You dont know me nor what im thinking.
You have insulted plenty of PPs through your sarcastic posts and with your "know it all", snide attitude. You clearly dont understand the way opinions and advice work, especially when they differ from your own. No matter what I say you will twist my words into something else and try to goad me so dont bother trying as im not going to engage with you anymore as its pointless and a waste of time.

Good god, please calm down. You sound hysterical.

A SIP OF COKE

unless you’re talking about the white stuff She sounds so normal.