Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider going to a strip club cheating?

437 replies

DonaldDucksTowel · 23/12/2018 09:56

DP went out last night and was home much earlier than I was expecting, I asked him why and he said everyone had gone to a strip club so he got his kebab and came home

As the conversation went on he basically expected me to be very grateful that he didn’t go and came home early instead Hmm so I said “I’m supposed to be super grateful that you didn’t cheat on me, pay for the privilege and exploit a load of vulnerable women in the process? Get a fucking grip!” And basically we got into a bit of a ‘stripclubs aren’t cheating, yes they are’ back and forth for a while

I don’t understand how having a naked woman rub herself all over you would ever not be cheating - and even worse in a strip club than if you were just at a party because you’re actually paying for it! If it was a prostitute it’d be cheating so why not a stripper?!

He thinks I’m being dramatic Hmm
Do you consider going to a strip club cheating?

OP posts:
F1ame · 23/12/2018 21:07

I’m an ex dancer (ballet) and, when I was younger, I had no problem with women being confident in their bodies, etc. More powers to them. The reason, I would never have stripped is because I know what’s going through men’s heads. I can’t ignore that and why would I feel the need to facilitate it. Next time they see a stripper, she may be trafficked or there for dubious reasons - how would they know the difference? Would they even care - I doubt it. Why strengthen or promote an industry that exploits women, even if only a proportion, and why feed the male mindset that prefers to turn a blind eye to this “for a laugh.” It’s disingenuous. When there are equal numbers of male and female strip clubs across the world then I may feel differently, but somehow I doubt that day is coming any time soon.

starcrossedseahorse · 23/12/2018 21:08

unherd.com/2018/09/left-forgotten-feminism-looks-like/

You will have read a great deal of Julie Bindel's stuff Pen I am sure.

starcrossedseahorse · 23/12/2018 21:08

This touches on porn and is very short.

starcrossedseahorse · 23/12/2018 21:08

Women choosing to dance for men and women is not about men

Laughable.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 21:10

What’s laughable is your narrow minded patronising view of something you have no experience of,

PengAly · 23/12/2018 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

abacucat · 23/12/2018 21:13

Of course strip clubs are about satisfying men.

PengAly · 23/12/2018 21:14

Also feminism is about EQUALITY. Anyone who says otherwise does not understand it.

twiglet · 23/12/2018 21:15

I don't think it's cheating at all, I don't really have an issue with them think it's a bit silly to spend loads of money in them on private dances. DH isn't a fan of them especially on stag dos he went to a jazz club in Amsterdam when majority went to a strip club.

We have been to one of the nicer ones in a group after a event, it was strip club or casino, strip club had more reasonable drink prices and was free to get into as it was a mixed group.

Tbh the one we went to was impressive with pole dancing (which is a huge skill) the women were wearing outfits no nakedness and all the private dances took place away from the bar. We all kind of forgot we were in a strip club!

I've seen more nakedness at hen dos with butler in the buff, they make me feel more uncomfortable!

I don't believe in exploitation and like anything there is a huge range in the type etc but if women want to do it then that's their choice.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 21:15

PengAly I get the feeling starcrossed is one of those people who like to be offended by anything, even without experiencing it first hand.
I loved my job. There’s a reason regular women take pole dancing classes and burlesque classes, it’s for themselves.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 21:17

aba without WOMEN, strip clubs wouldn’t exist. Without WOMEN paying for dances I’d have earned less money.

abacucat · 23/12/2018 21:17

Feminism is about the liberation of women from male domination and exploitation.
Even the onion did an article satirising the idea that everything a woman chooses is a feminist choice.

abacucat · 23/12/2018 21:17

Nope without men strip clubs would not exist.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 21:18

Well stripping is about female dominance so yay

PengAly · 23/12/2018 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 23/12/2018 21:18

I wouldn't care if he went to one but I would care if he paid for a dance.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 21:18

Oh bless you, you actually think that don’t you?!

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 21:20

Agreed Peng it makes an amusing thread to show my friends still in the industry though Grin

firstbrightday · 23/12/2018 21:22

Well yes I would consider a naked woman rubbing themselves all over my partner cheating. But just entering the strip club isn't teaching, it's entirely possible to go in a group and not be a part of what goes on.

PengAly · 23/12/2018 21:23

So a woman being a stripper because she WANTS TO BE one is anti feminist simply because it pleases a man? I dont understand that at all. Women should be given the choice and not shamed for doing what they want.

candlefloozy · 23/12/2018 21:24

They aren't normally allowed to touch the women. So if you think looking at a naked women cheating then carry on. My husband gets pictures of naked women sent to him by his friends daily. I'd have been divorced years ago

abacucat · 23/12/2018 21:25

candle Would a female friend stripping naked for your DP be okay then? Or is it that the money magically makes it okay?

PengAly · 23/12/2018 21:26

I suspect women who dont like their dh/dp's looking at images of naked women have some trust issues they need to work out

starcrossedseahorse · 23/12/2018 21:27

Feminism is about the liberation of women from male domination and exploitation

This. Shame that the pseudo feminists on here do not understand this.

Sandbox · 23/12/2018 21:28

aba I assume you don’t watch any tv with nudity in it and protest outside lingerie stores with their shocking images of women in underwear, actually I assume you wear a blindfold while out and about from under that rock.