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AIBU?

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Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

999 replies

fifithefoof · 09/10/2018 13:07

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting! Confused

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

OP posts:
MargoLovebutter · 10/10/2018 15:07

Ohluckyme if you really thought it was fine for other people, you would have described it as "yuk"!

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 15:07

Some very touchy people on this thread

Well, playing devils advocate here, you did say it was “rank” to have more than 10 sexual partners...

But yes, ime there’s a bit of defensiveness on MN in general about this. And some very condescending “oh you’ve only had this many partners? What do YOU know about having good sex?” which is actually pretty cunty.

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 15:10

I have regular tests. I have never had an STI. I’m also incredibly familiar with my body and give myself check ups for any symptoms etc.

Did you read my post? There are no tests on nhs at least for genital warts and there are sometimes no symptoms either. So technically, it’s possible you could have the virus and not know, even with testing and examining till you’re blue in the face.

Kolo · 10/10/2018 15:11

I have no idea. It’s been so long since I started counting...who can keep count for 30years? For the last 15yrs it’s been 1; my husband.

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 15:11

That should be

No tests, on the nhs at least, for genital warts...

Commas make all the difference!

seeyouhen · 10/10/2018 15:12

It takes time and lots of practise to have an increadable sex life

Me and my partner had incredible sex with each other the first time we had sex together and it has continued to be incredible.

YellowStickies · 10/10/2018 15:13

This prompted me to count... 4. I was sure it was more. Then I remembered the ex bf I had for 6 years, looks like I did a great job of blocking him out!

JacquesHammer · 10/10/2018 15:14

Did you read my post? There are no tests on nhs at least for genital warts and there are sometimes no symptoms either. So technically, it’s possible you could have the virus and not know, even with testing and examining till you’re blue in the face

Yes I read. I have other medical conditions which I’m not going into which mean anything I get is unlikely to develop without symptoms. I’m more susceptible to getting a full whammy of symptoms with anything I get (STI or otherwise).

I’m also, with respect, happy to trust the judgement of my consultant who has and continues to give me a clean bill of sexual health.

This coupled with the fact I always use condoms and use them correctly means I’m able to be as sure as I possibly can.

JacquesHammer · 10/10/2018 15:20

Just to add though, I don’t believe the NHS should cover the costs of my lifestyle and apart from smear year when I get the full gamut, I pay for my STI testing privately.

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 15:22

I’d be happy with your consultant’s assessment too, but I don’t think doctor on the planet would say with 100% certainty that you, or anyone with any sort of sex life has never ever had an sti.

I’m only arguing with your choice of words here, not your decision to carry on having what sounds like a healthy and varied sex life.

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 15:26

*any doctor

BrightonGallery7 · 10/10/2018 15:27

Do we really want to know about all the tests some people have had to ensure they haven’t caught anything?🤢

TMI

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 15:28

Confused Would you rather they weren’t tested brighton?

Jayne35 · 10/10/2018 15:52

peachgreen I’m not ashamed as a 19 old to have taken time to know my body and understand what I like and don’t like.

You are 19 years old? I would guess the majority of PPs with higher number are a lot older than this. Well done for you being in a loving relationship, I really hope it lasts for you but many others have not stayed with their teenage DPs or started a long term relationship in their teens, hence the higher numbers (which do not matter).

OP, I am in my 40s and have forgotten the number now, I think it's 40-50 though. I have had two relationships in the last 26 years most of them were in my teens.

I have NO regrets and I don't have low self esteem. I'm in a happy marriage of 13 years with plenty of amazing sex. Smile

MawkishTwaddle · 10/10/2018 16:03

Two. How fucking boring am I?

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 16:38

jayne

I think luckyme met her partner when she was 19. I think she said she’s been with him 15 years.

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 16:39

That’s what I think she meant my 19yo; not that she is currently 19.

fifithefoof · 10/10/2018 16:52

Who said sex with someone you love is better?

I said it's different.

As to taking time to have good sex, what horseshit.

Some of the best sex I've ever had was with someone I'd just met. Totally different but that passion is something else!

OP posts:
peachgreen · 10/10/2018 16:57

@Stonebake I think when people are being told they're "rank" and "yukky" they will get defensive. (I don't actually think I'm one of the people lucky is talking about but her judgemental tone is unpleasant to me). As for the great sex thing, I honestly don't think you can judge if you're having objectively great sex if you haven't slept with many people. Like I say, I've slept with about a dozen people and I don't think I could really say with all certainty. I can only say whether or not it satisfies me, and ultimately that's all that matters. But I'd happily bow to the superior knowledge of someone who had had sex with more people than I had!

Hungryagain · 10/10/2018 17:24

I’ve only slept with 2 people I’m 38 I feel pathetic! And now I’m in a sexless marriage & miserable.

JessieLemon · 10/10/2018 17:25

It takes time and lots of practise to have an increadable sex life

It really doesn’t, if you’re sexually compatible.

lornar123 · 10/10/2018 17:26

Fifi or others who have enjoyed tremendous sex with people they barely knew. If you were sat in bar with your dp and a woman walks in who your partner recognises. "Do you know her?" " Not really but I once shagged her and she is amazing, what a passionate woman!"

What's your reaction ?

fifithefoof · 10/10/2018 17:29

He wouldn't do that because he'd be being very disrespectful and get a swift kick in the bollocks.

The same way I wouldn't dream of doing that to him! Confused

OP posts:
peachgreen · 10/10/2018 17:32

@lornar123 Not sure what your point is? If someone walked in that my DH has slept with, no matter how long he'd known her, I'd expect him to tell me that, but not to comment on her performance! I don't really want to know what his ex-wife was like in bed either.

Stonebake · 10/10/2018 17:35

peachgreen

Kindly re read my posts; I’ve already noticed and mentioned luckyme’s unpleasant words “rank” etc.

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