Not remembering how many people I've slept with?

[fifithefoof]

Was on the other thread about do you wish you've had less or more partners and wondered whether others can remember exactly how many people they've slept with.

Is it horrific I can't! Not that I've forgotten any as much as I stopped counting!

I'm trying to make a list and think it's at around 30-50!

Is this an unusually high number! I didn't think it was but on the other thread it seems most people are at around 1-5!

If you have been single for a prolonged period in your 20's and 30's then I don't think it is exceptionally high. I think most would be quite low (under 10) because for most people I know they wont just sleep with someone on a night out, they would have a relationship in which they waited a while before having sex.

I'm not sure why you are dwelling on it. I personally would be pretty surprised if someone did not know the number of people they had slept with but it doesn't matter what I or others think.

I cannot remember either OP, so I don't think you are unusual. I've probably blanked out the rubbish ones mostly. I do remember the exceptionally good however, but they can be counted on the fingers of one hand.

It's all to do with circumstances isn't it - I've got friends who married their childhood sweethearts, so they've only had 1! I didn't meet my DH until I was mid-30s, giving me time to tot up a few more than that.

I'm in my early 40s and reckon my number is between 10-15. But there are definitely people (ONS) who I have probably forgotten!

It doesn't/shouldn't matter though (to yourself or to anyone else).

I've lost count. Split with my first boyfriend at 17 (ended up married to him though) and for a few years I enjoyed myself and didn't care what anything thinks.

It's between 30 and 50 for me too. I still don't care what anyone thinks.

I've told DP I'll never be able to tell him my number as I just don't know. And he doesn't care.

Same. Mine is probably 20+ due to a phase of lots of one night stands in my late teens/early twenties. I don’t have a problem with this. I’ve been with my husband for ten years now and barely think about my past hookups these days.

I’m not sure.

I always practised safe sex.

No big deal.

I am always a bit suspicious of people who have high number and can say the 'count'. I think its weird, its like it becomes the number and not about if it was good, bad, indifferent, no regrets, lots of regret etc. If you can't remember the number can utter a sentence like 'and then I met this beautiful man and the next thing .....'. Then I regard you as a true spirit.

I don't think it's that high for what it's worth. My late teens and early 20's were all about having fun - I'm probably in the 50-60 range, a fair amount of great fun one night stands etc... some relationships but I was never any good at them and never had a relationship last more than 2 years.

I can't remember them all - I can't remember most of their names!! I do not feel bad about it.

Clutching my sides at the idea that three is ‘high’

Your ‘number’ is only a thing because of our social construct suggesting that each new dick you experience is something an indelible mark on your character. Seriously, it doesn’t matter. It’s normal not to count every single one once you’re out of your teens if it’s a fair few, so don’t worry about not recalling the exact number. You’d only remember if every time you shagged someone new you made a mental note of it!

I won’t share mine as that’s not what you’re asking (not sure why others are so quick to jump in to share theirs when that’s not your AIBU), I just wanted to reassure you you’re perfectly fine!

I lost my virginity at 21 and met my now husband just over a year later. Which is a good job think I slept with quite a few maybe 7-8 that year. I could have carried on and probably would have done!! I took precautions and it was lots and lots of fun!

I don’t think it’s unusual not to remember everybody out of context. My “number” is somewhere between 150-200: I can’t “remember” them all in the sense of being able to list them all off the bat, but if I was reminded of a situation or party or whatever by a friend, or if the person themselves introduced themselves to me again, I’d remember almost all of them.

It probably also depends on how drunk you were at the time, doesn’t it.

There's nothing wrong or shocking with losing count. This obsession with a low number or some idea of purity is a misogynistic construct of society. I reject that judgment as it doesn't matter to me.

Women should be safe and do as they please. End of.

I can’t remember either. I think I was at 40 - 50 pre exH, and then another 10ish post exH but pre current partner.

But I don’t know.

My teens and early 20s were fun though

I'd consider it to be high for the circles I mix in, but generally speaking it's not that high. Most of my friends are on under 10. I've been with my husband since I was 21 (broke up for a year mid 20s) so I've not really had that many years actually single. Had I been single most my 20s I'm sure my number could have maybe crept up but I was never one for one night stands. I used to have a bed buddy at uni who kept the numbers down . My roommate (a girl) when I was travelling had slept with 38 people in the 8 months she'd been away. She was from a strict catholic family back home and literally went wild, her mum still thought she was a virgin lol!! 38 in 8 months shocked me a little.

I cant remember the exact number off hand.

If I sat down with a paper and pen, and really thought about it, like in a timeline I could possibly

Ball park, Somewhere between 10-15

I couldn't pinpoint the exact number, it's between 20-30. I get that lots of people would think that's a lot i had many brief ' boyfriends'-in late teens early twenties. Majority of this number was made up during university years. Been with one person for the last almost decade though and I can see that if hadn't met my husband fairly early and had gone through all my twenties into thirties single it could easily be double! So would never judge anyone else's number being higher.

My husbands number is well over double mine, and it doesn't fuss me at all. As long as it stays the same whilst we are together.

Ps- I'm glad I had plenty of fun when young!

I'm in my 40's now and was single most of my 20's and 30's.

I did on occasion drink waay too much and some would have been down to that.

I was also living in London involved in the club scene so that wouldn't have helped.

There's definitely a few I regret. Most I'm very pleased about.

I have SUCH a bad memory though. I can't remember hardly a thing from school or my childhood. I wondered if it was common to actually forget people you'd had sex with.

Although I'm trying to actually make a list I've remembered a couple of ones I'd managed to block out that have sent me cringing back under the duvet!

When people say "too high", too high for what? As long as they were safe then what difference does it make?

Same question for those who say "too low" if anyone does day that

If you don't remember, then they weren't worth remembering.

Not your fault

@consuelapipkin

Better to regret the things you've done than the things you haven't. You've enjoyed yourself with a few cringes along the way, its all good.

It sounds high but it's neither good or bad, and I'm sure you had lots of fun!

I haven't got a clue, roughly 50 but I don't care enough to work it out. Why is that too high?

7 for me fwiw. I thought mine was on the low side... but meh. I think as long as you’re safe and happy, does it really matter? I don’t think about sex with anyone other than dh all that much... except the odd erm... role playing thing . So what does it matter?

I used to have a list, in a filofax.