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To wonder who buys this shite?!

165 replies

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 19:50

Gwyneth Paltrow has opened a store for her Goop shite...

The £145 necklace vibrator has obviously shot straight to the number one spot of my Christmas list.

And also the pube oil - I can just image DH’s face if he walked in as I was oiling my pubes Grin

OP posts:
RickOShay · 25/09/2018 19:52

Somebody somewhere will
I just can’t imagine who

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 20:01

I can’t either rick. I’m all for keeping your chuff happy and to you’re own liking but I draw a line at throwing a crystal up there for good hormones Shock

OP posts:
CSIblonde · 25/09/2018 20:15

'I draw the line at throwing a crystal up there'. That made me snort & my sip of tea went down the wrong way!

MrsEfff · 25/09/2018 20:17


Bluelonerose · 25/09/2018 20:19

Why would anyone want to wear a sex toy as a necklace?
I can't imagine doing the school run with the rabbit nestled between my boobs wiggling away!

No wonder prices are higher in London if that's the shit you can buy

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 20:25

Ahh now Blue I think I have the answer to that...

You know sometimes you’re out and about, say doing a big shop in Asda, down the frozen aisle. And all of a sudden you must wank?? Like an orgasm is needed after pursuing the chicken and then you remember you forgot to pack your buzzing buddy??


Just me then Wink

OP posts:
SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 25/09/2018 20:28

almost worth growing the fur to use the fur oil

I will be going for the cheaper Rampant rabbit on a rope, rather than the gold vibe necklace

HerRoyalFattyness · 25/09/2018 20:28

Fantastic Grin

Although it does say they've been fined for saying the fanny eggs can give you good foof juju

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 20:41

Ahh Steve very classy alternative there Grin

I’m honestly still Shock at it - I don’t know what’s appalling me most - the cost, the names or just the sheer audacity of the pretentious cow to sell this utter tripe.

It almost makes her ‘consciously uncoupling’ seem like a normal person term Hmm

Still going to ask DH for that necklace mind Grin

OP posts:
Sparklesocks · 25/09/2018 20:44

Gullible rich women basically!

Bluelonerose · 25/09/2018 20:57

GrinGrin dying of laughter here

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 25/09/2018 21:19

I personally think a cadburys creme egg thrown up the chuff will balance my hormones far better than a crystal one, or maybe if I was feeling fancy a kinder surprise, chocolate and a toy

HerRoyalFattyness · 25/09/2018 21:20

steve i find kinder surprise may be a littke big, and also quite flimsy, so would break too easily.
Stick with the creme eggs.

TheHauntedFishtank · 25/09/2018 21:20

‘Good foof juju’ Grin Grin

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 21:30

Steve Grin you must open your own Goop! I imagine a lot more women would find it relatable!!

You may want to take on HerRoyals advice re: flimsy kinder suprise mind.

OP posts:
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 25/09/2018 21:35

Do you chuck the crystal up there before are after you steam your chuff?

(isn't fanny steaming another Gwynnie thing?)

AnoukSpirit · 25/09/2018 21:40

If you haven't already, you definitely need to read Jennifer Gunter's blog posts about Goop. Grin

longwayoff · 25/09/2018 21:45

I'm so glad I'm old and have no interest whatsoever in finding my Christmas presents up my fanny. Ooh santaSmile

Rebecca36 · 25/09/2018 21:46

Quite revolting. How Gwyneth Paltrow can publicise such rubbish in her name is quite beyond me.

longwayoff · 25/09/2018 21:50

I'm having real trouble trying to imagine an average day in the life of Ms P beginning with her waking and standing over the kettle. Er ouch.

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 25/09/2018 21:51

HerRoyal I going to use a small one not a maxi Kinder eyes watering at the thought

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 21:52

Yes breakfast gywnnie is all about the steaming. I imagine you steam the bad away from your fanny and then add the crystal in for good in your fanny. She’s all about balance this one!

Anouk off to google 👍🏻

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AlrightBabby · 25/09/2018 21:52

Holy shite!! Just when you think you've heard it all 🤯

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 21:54

And yes longway it can’t be comfortable.

I do wonder why she is so obsessed with fanny balance.

I feel like I have use the word fanny enough for the week now!

OP posts:
OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 25/09/2018 21:58

Bet you can get a buzzer on a chain from Wish for a quid.

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