To wonder who buys this shite?!

[Tryingtoswallow101]

Gwyneth Paltrow has opened a store for her Goop shite...

The £145 necklace vibrator has obviously shot straight to the number one spot of my Christmas list.

And also the pube oil - I can just image DH’s face if he walked in as I was oiling my pubes

www.buzzfeed.com/laurasilver/gwyneth-paltrow-has-opened-a-goop-shop-in-london-and-its?bfsource=bbf_enuk

Somebody somewhere will I just can’t imagine who

I can’t either rick. I’m all for keeping your chuff happy and to you’re own liking but I draw a line at throwing a crystal up there for good hormones

Tryingtoswallow
'I draw the line at throwing a crystal up there'. That made me snort & my sip of tea went down the wrong way!

FUR OIL 😂

Why would anyone want to wear a sex toy as a necklace?
I can't imagine doing the school run with the rabbit nestled between my boobs wiggling away!

No wonder prices are higher in London if that's the shit you can buy

Ahh now Blue I think I have the answer to that...

You know sometimes you’re out and about, say doing a big shop in Asda, down the frozen aisle. And all of a sudden you must wank?? Like an orgasm is needed after pursuing the chicken and then you remember you forgot to pack your buzzing buddy??

No?

Just me then

almost worth growing the fur to use the fur oil

I will be going for the cheaper Rampant rabbit on a rope, rather than the gold vibe necklace

Fantastic

Although it does say they've been fined for saying the fanny eggs can give you good foof juju

Ahh Steve very classy alternative there

I’m honestly still at it - I don’t know what’s appalling me most - the cost, the names or just the sheer audacity of the pretentious cow to sell this utter tripe.

It almost makes her ‘consciously uncoupling’ seem like a normal person term

Still going to ask DH for that necklace mind

Gullible rich women basically!

dying of laughter here

I personally think a cadburys creme egg thrown up the chuff will balance my hormones far better than a crystal one, or maybe if I was feeling fancy a kinder surprise, chocolate and a toy

steve i find kinder surprise may be a littke big, and also quite flimsy, so would break too easily.
Stick with the creme eggs.

‘Good foof juju’

Steve you must open your own Goop! I imagine a lot more women would find it relatable!!

You may want to take on HerRoyals advice re: flimsy kinder suprise mind.

Do you chuck the crystal up there before are after you steam your chuff?

(isn't fanny steaming another Gwynnie thing?)

If you haven't already, you definitely need to read Jennifer Gunter's blog posts about Goop.

I'm so glad I'm old and have no interest whatsoever in finding my Christmas presents up my fanny. Ooh santa

Quite revolting. How Gwyneth Paltrow can publicise such rubbish in her name is quite beyond me.

I'm having real trouble trying to imagine an average day in the life of Ms P beginning with her waking and standing over the kettle. Er ouch.

HerRoyal I going to use a small one not a maxi Kinder eyes watering at the thought

Yes breakfast gywnnie is all about the steaming. I imagine you steam the bad away from your fanny and then add the crystal in for good in your fanny. She’s all about balance this one!

Anouk off to google 👍🏻

Holy shite!! Just when you think you've heard it all 🤯

And yes longway it can’t be comfortable.

I do wonder why she is so obsessed with fanny balance.

I feel like I have use the word fanny enough for the week now!

Bet you can get a buzzer on a chain from Wish for a quid.