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To wonder who buys this shite?!

165 replies

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 19:50

Gwyneth Paltrow has opened a store for her Goop shite...

The £145 necklace vibrator has obviously shot straight to the number one spot of my Christmas list.

And also the pube oil - I can just image DH’s face if he walked in as I was oiling my pubes Grin

OP posts:

HerRoyalFattyness · 26/09/2018 00:10

Just don't pinch the kids' marbles

Not a chance. I pushed out nearly 11lb of baby...marbles would get lost up there.


LuckyDiamond · 26/09/2018 00:12

Holy shamoly £10 for a box of tampons Shock


HerRoyalFattyness · 26/09/2018 00:20

What the fuck?!

To wonder who buys this shite?!

curlies · 26/09/2018 00:27

This has made my night. Howling.


Daytimetvsucks · 26/09/2018 00:34

Not being funny but if I inserted a Cadbury creme egg it would be more Gloop than Goop...

God I am sorry 😐


PlatypusPie · 26/09/2018 00:46

Platypus your DH should use the beard oil. Keep it non-scratchy when it heads in your southerly direction grin

It’s already soft and fluffy due to him using my expensive moisturiser ! I suggested combing a bit of Lenor through as a budget alternative .....


PickAChew · 26/09/2018 00:51

She's a USAian so her fanny is her arse.

Which adds a whole extra dimension of wtf, Admittedly.


Bluelady · 26/09/2018 00:55

Dear God, who's buying this crap?


TurquoiseCat · 26/09/2018 01:06

Oh the child calming spray is funny - I have visions of 5yo DD in the middle of a tantrum, and me swooping in like superman to squirt her in the face and save the day!

As it's sold out, I might invest in a water pistol, it'll have the same effect won't it?


deendon · 26/09/2018 01:11

I always thought Gwyneth was a bit uptight looking
well well well!


deendon · 26/09/2018 01:15

Having just looked a the site are we sure someone isn't just taking the p^ss?


delphguelph · 26/09/2018 01:38

Why the feck would you put an egg 🥚 up 👆 your fanjo


delphguelph · 26/09/2018 01:39

Sorry about the pics Grin


delphguelph · 26/09/2018 01:40

£37 for duck tape? Wtaf

And since when was gwennie into all that nonsense.. She'll be eating pie and peas next


delphguelph · 26/09/2018 01:42

Why choose between drawstring shorts and technical leggings when you can have both?


Why indeed?

85% recycled polyester too



delphguelph · 26/09/2018 01:54

Are you meant to use these products together I. E fanny pube wax and the pink egg? And why does she steam her vag, I've never heard of that and I've read the karma sutra


Rebecca36 · 26/09/2018 02:10

Perhaps it was a typo and she meant to say "steam your veg" instead of 'vag'. She is quite into healthy eating.

The egg is pink because it will be easier for the gynaecologist to see when taking it out after the buyer had to go to A&E. I only hope it's a boiled egg or it would crack - eeewwww.

E fanny pube wax sounds like a virtual Brazilian.


longwayoff · 26/09/2018 07:43

Child calming spray? Grin this is a vastly entertaining thread, imagine the AIBUs, 'my horrible MIL sprayed my dd/ds and some has gone on me. I dont feel well now, shall I call 911?' . . .


Tryingtoswallow101 · 26/09/2018 07:52


Thank you all for making me laugh this morning.

I would love to see how long a thread would pop up here after some of these items have been used:

AIBU to think you don’t spray someone else’s child with calming spray on the playground?!

AIBU to think that £34 isn’t excessive for sex tape and DH is just being a miserable shit?

AIBU to think my crystal is stuck and I should definitely ring an ambulance?

OP posts:

ConfusedMum82 · 26/09/2018 08:09

She can't be that bonkers though surely?

I like to think Gwynnie is somewhere, with a mate, eating pork scratchings and drinking vodka, coming up with the stupidest thing they can sell to rich gullible fools and laughing at the silliness of it all.


iklboo · 26/09/2018 08:23

I can just see it now:

Doc at A&E: And how can we help you today Mrs iklboo?

Me: Well, there I was balancing my foof hormones when I coughed and the egg shot out breaking my toe. Hopping around I slipped on me minge oil and impaled myself on my vibrating necklace.

Doc: Confused


HerRoyalFattyness · 26/09/2018 08:40

Grin ikl fabulous image you've painted there.


MissusGeneHunt · 26/09/2018 08:59

What a crock of shite!! Pretentious twats!

The quote from the article which made me giggle most was the person serving at the 'shop' who said 'we've even had some Australians in today...', like they were that astounded that such a 'backward nation' would even consider a foof regime, or, how very dare we, consider having 'naice' sex... Good god, I've got visions of dreadlocked bushes and baling twine bondage now, Outback style.... (oooer, actually, hang on....). Thank God for my Aussie heritage, I feel decidedly normal now!


longwayoff · 26/09/2018 09:10

GrinGrinGrinikiboo. Perfect


zukiecat · 26/09/2018 09:55



That is some image!

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