To wonder who buys this shite?!

[Tryingtoswallow101]

Gwyneth Paltrow has opened a store for her Goop shite...

The £145 necklace vibrator has obviously shot straight to the number one spot of my Christmas list.

And also the pube oil - I can just image DH’s face if he walked in as I was oiling my pubes

www.buzzfeed.com/laurasilver/gwyneth-paltrow-has-opened-a-goop-shop-in-london-and-its?bfsource=bbf_enuk

Just don't pinch the kids' marbles

Not a chance. I pushed out nearly 11lb of baby...marbles would get lost up there.

Holy shamoly £10 for a box of tampons

shop.goop.com/shop/collection/wellness

What the fuck?!

This has made my night. Howling.

Not being funny but if I inserted a Cadbury creme egg it would be more Gloop than Goop...

God I am sorry 😐

Platypus your DH should use the beard oil. Keep it non-scratchy when it heads in your southerly direction grin

It’s already soft and fluffy due to him using my expensive moisturiser ! I suggested combing a bit of Lenor through as a budget alternative .....

She's a USAian so her fanny is her arse.

Which adds a whole extra dimension of wtf, Admittedly.

Dear God, who's buying this crap?

Oh the child calming spray is funny - I have visions of 5yo DD in the middle of a tantrum, and me swooping in like superman to squirt her in the face and save the day!

As it's sold out, I might invest in a water pistol, it'll have the same effect won't it?

I always thought Gwyneth was a bit uptight looking
well well well!

Having just looked a the site are we sure someone isn't just taking the p^ss?

Why the feck would you put an egg 🥚 up 👆 your fanjo

Sorry about the pics

£37 for duck tape? Wtaf

And since when was gwennie into all that nonsense.. She'll be eating pie and peas next

Why choose between drawstring shorts and technical leggings when you can have both?

^^

Why indeed?

85% recycled polyester too

Are you meant to use these products together I. E fanny pube wax and the pink egg? And why does she steam her vag, I've never heard of that and I've read the karma sutra

Perhaps it was a typo and she meant to say "steam your veg" instead of 'vag'. She is quite into healthy eating.

The egg is pink because it will be easier for the gynaecologist to see when taking it out after the buyer had to go to A&E. I only hope it's a boiled egg or it would crack - eeewwww.

E fanny pube wax sounds like a virtual Brazilian.

Child calming spray? this is a vastly entertaining thread, imagine the AIBUs, 'my horrible MIL sprayed my dd/ds and some has gone on me. I dont feel well now, shall I call 911?' . . .

Thank you all for making me laugh this morning.

I would love to see how long a thread would pop up here after some of these items have been used:

AIBU to think you don’t spray someone else’s child with calming spray on the playground?!

AIBU to think that £34 isn’t excessive for sex tape and DH is just being a miserable shit?

AIBU to think my crystal is stuck and I should definitely ring an ambulance?

She can't be that bonkers though surely?

I like to think Gwynnie is somewhere, with a mate, eating pork scratchings and drinking vodka, coming up with the stupidest thing they can sell to rich gullible fools and laughing at the silliness of it all.

I can just see it now:

Doc at A&E: And how can we help you today Mrs iklboo?

Me: Well, there I was balancing my foof hormones when I coughed and the egg shot out breaking my toe. Hopping around I slipped on me minge oil and impaled myself on my vibrating necklace.

Doc:

ikl fabulous image you've painted there.

What a crock of shite!! Pretentious twats!

The quote from the article which made me giggle most was the person serving at the 'shop' who said 'we've even had some Australians in today...', like they were that astounded that such a 'backward nation' would even consider a foof regime, or, how very dare we, consider having 'naice' sex... Good god, I've got visions of dreadlocked bushes and baling twine bondage now, Outback style.... (oooer, actually, hang on....). Thank God for my Aussie heritage, I feel decidedly normal now!

ikiboo. Perfect

icklboo

That is some image!