To wonder who buys this shite?!

[Tryingtoswallow101]

Gwyneth Paltrow has opened a store for her Goop shite...

The £145 necklace vibrator has obviously shot straight to the number one spot of my Christmas list.

And also the pube oil - I can just image DH’s face if he walked in as I was oiling my pubes

www.buzzfeed.com/laurasilver/gwyneth-paltrow-has-opened-a-goop-shop-in-london-and-its?bfsource=bbf_enuk

Steve your budget version of Goop has really made me giggle the economic value of using the dishwasher mid-cycle rather than boiling the kettle has really convinced me you’re made for this shite.

As my necklace has sold out I will have to point DH in your direction for ‘rabbit on rope’

I know ali

4 for a quid they are in Poundies. Nothing if not coining it.

They'll be selling washing pegs for £90 a pair next. As nipple clamps.

And a windscreen cover will be sold for £138 as a wipe clean play sheet

And a windscreen cover will be sold for £138 as a wipe clean play sheet

To be fair thats as good an idea as Steve's rabbit on a rope.

Sadly the child calming spray has sold out I'm just imagining the AIBU threads - a woman sprayed my child with reiki-charged water...

Psychic vampire repellent?

THIRTY QUID?

I'm a marketers dream I buy any old shite and even I'm

Well, I guess psychic vampires are quite hard to escape from as they would always know where you will be...

leslie damn those psychic vamps and their psychicness

Just the idea of steaming my fan makes it scrunch up in consternation. I keep visualizing what steam does to clams. Scary.

It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Even the handcuffs are BANGLES! Like M&S - these aren’t just handcuffs...

I'm wondering if this is the reason that Kinder eggs are banned in America... too many being thrown up fannies.

The mind boggles. I'm all for a clean fanjo but fuck me, steaming it? It's not a medley of vegetables.
More money than sense that one.

My DH keeps getting beard oil as presents, which he doesn’t use. Maybe I could repurpose in a southerly direction ?

if the childcalming spray really worked I'd deffo have some!

She’s right mind, DH would have a surprise if I’d spent £240 on a fucking ‘eye-mask’

😂🤣😂🤣

Platypus your DH should use the beard oil. Keep it non-scratchy when it heads in your southerly direction

My foof is wincing at the thought of a steam clean, it’s always been perfectly happy with a lick & a promise...

The only way a child calming spray could work on my DC would be if it was chloroform. 😄

BlackAmericanoNoSugar

Try calming my kid down... no really, someone please help!

Oh look, it's the worst pants in the world.

strange those are hideous.

This thread has made my night 😂

strange those pants look like they have been pinched from Darth Vader's wardrobe

Psychic vampire repellent? To rid the world of evil spirits and negative energy ?

Round these parts a morning after (the kebab and ale) trump you get on the train would be far more effective.

Or perhaps not. It would certainly fuck over vampires but wouldn't get rid of negative feeling. Still, there will be a crystal to mop up.

A urinal block could be utilised instead of citrine.

4 for a pahnd…..

Goop is selling pyjamas for £700.

£700!!!!

And I'm pretty sure I saw the same set in Matalan

But if we don't all buy the Psychic Vampire Repellent how else will we protect our auras? (auras? - Latin panic ensues).

Just buy the Matalan ones.

Wrap a sock round your eyes instead of the lace mask.

Wipe your lulu with a green tea tea-bag, stand over the kettle for 10 seconds and Voila.

You'll have been vaguely goopled and no-one will ever know the difference. Just don't pinch the kids' marbles.