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To wonder who buys this shite?!

165 replies

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 19:50

Gwyneth Paltrow has opened a store for her Goop shite...

The £145 necklace vibrator has obviously shot straight to the number one spot of my Christmas list.

And also the pube oil - I can just image DH’s face if he walked in as I was oiling my pubes Grin

OP posts:

Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 22:39

Steve your budget version of Goop has really made me giggle Grin the economic value of using the dishwasher mid-cycle rather than boiling the kettle has really convinced me you’re made for this shite.

As my necklace has sold out Confused I will have to point DH in your direction for ‘rabbit on rope’

OP posts:

sheldonesque · 25/09/2018 22:42

I know ali

4 for a quid they are in Poundies. Nothing if not coining it.

They'll be selling washing pegs for £90 a pair next. As nipple clamps.

And a windscreen cover will be sold for £138 as a wipe clean play sheet Hmm


HerRoyalFattyness · 25/09/2018 22:43

And a windscreen cover will be sold for £138 as a wipe clean play sheet

To be fair thats as good an idea as Steve's rabbit on a rope.


WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 25/09/2018 22:45

Sadly the child calming spray has sold out Grin I'm just imagining the AIBU threads - a woman sprayed my child with reiki-charged water...


RJnomore1 · 25/09/2018 22:46

Psychic vampire repellent?


I'm a marketers dream I buy any old shite and even I'm Shock


WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 25/09/2018 22:47

Well, I guess psychic vampires are quite hard to escape from as they would always know where you will be... Hmm


HerRoyalFattyness · 25/09/2018 22:48

leslie Grin damn those psychic vamps and their psychicness


Prawnofthepatriarchy · 25/09/2018 22:51

Just the idea of steaming my fan makes it scrunch up in consternation. I keep visualizing what steam does to clams. Scary.


Tryingtoswallow101 · 25/09/2018 22:52

It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

Even the handcuffs are BANGLES! Like M&S - these aren’t just handcuffs...

OP posts:

Zoflorabore · 25/09/2018 22:57

I'm wondering if this is the reason that Kinder eggs are banned in America... too many being thrown up fannies.

The mind boggles. I'm all for a clean fanjo but fuck me, steaming it? It's not a medley of vegetables.
More money than sense that one.


PlatypusPie · 25/09/2018 23:01

My DH keeps getting beard oil as presents, which he doesn’t use. Maybe I could repurpose in a southerly direction ?


Moonflower12 · 25/09/2018 23:03

if the childcalming spray really worked I'd deffo have some!


AnnieAnoniMouse · 25/09/2018 23:04

She’s right mind, DH would have a surprise if I’d spent £240 on a fucking ‘eye-mask’



RyderWhiteSwan · 25/09/2018 23:05

Platypus your DH should use the beard oil. Keep it non-scratchy when it heads in your southerly direction Grin


AnnieAnoniMouse · 25/09/2018 23:05

My foof is wincing at the thought of a steam clean, it’s always been perfectly happy with a lick & a promise...


BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 25/09/2018 23:10

The only way a child calming spray could work on my DC would be if it was chloroform. 😄


HerRoyalFattyness · 25/09/2018 23:11


Try calming my kid down... no really, someone please help!


StrangeLookingParasite · 25/09/2018 23:16

Oh look, it's the worst pants in the world.


HerRoyalFattyness · 25/09/2018 23:20

strange Confused those are hideous.


GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 23:23

This thread has made my night 😂


PixieCutRegret · 25/09/2018 23:37

strange those pants look like they have been pinched from Darth Vader's wardrobe


sheldonesque · 25/09/2018 23:47

Psychic vampire repellent? To rid the world of evil spirits and negative energy ?

Round these parts a morning after (the kebab and ale) trump you get on the train would be far more effective.

Or perhaps not. It would certainly fuck over vampires but wouldn't get rid of negative feeling. Still, there will be a crystal to mop up.

A urinal block could be utilised instead of citrine.

4 for a pahnd…..


GunpowderGelatine · 25/09/2018 23:56

Goop is selling pyjamas for £700.


And I'm pretty sure I saw the same set in Matalan


MrsEricBana · 26/09/2018 00:02

But if we don't all buy the Psychic Vampire Repellent how else will we protect our auras? (auras? - Latin panic ensues).


sheldonesque · 26/09/2018 00:02

Just buy the Matalan ones.

Wrap a sock round your eyes instead of the lace mask.

Wipe your lulu with a green tea tea-bag, stand over the kettle for 10 seconds and Voila.

You'll have been vaguely goopled and no-one will ever know the difference. Just don't pinch the kids' marbles.

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