To wonder who buys this shite?!

[Tryingtoswallow101]

Gwyneth Paltrow has opened a store for her Goop shite...

The £145 necklace vibrator has obviously shot straight to the number one spot of my Christmas list.

And also the pube oil - I can just image DH’s face if he walked in as I was oiling my pubes

www.buzzfeed.com/laurasilver/gwyneth-paltrow-has-opened-a-goop-shop-in-london-and-its?bfsource=bbf_enuk

Paltrow purports to dissect the complexities and woes of being a working mother with a panel of famous gal pals: Cameron Diaz, Tory Burch, Nicole Richie and Miranda Kerr. How do they do it?

^^

Yeah, man, like how?

Bloody hoity toits

I am entirely innocent. 😇

[grin]@sheldon. Leg raised kick boxer stylee, firing out cross eggs from under her tooshortskirt

A word of advice for anyone who wishes to use a singing bowl to help them meditate in the bedroom. It's a bit loud so if you don't want your neighbours to assume every time they hear a noise then I suggest sitting in your garden occasionally playing and going ommm. Then when they hear it late at night they will assume you're really really well centred.

Or just a noisy fecker...

Oh you are all just jealous cows with unoiled nether regions. I pity you.

We could start an MN ninja-stylee squad of foof egg firers.

Pew! Pew! Have at thee!

I am curious about the pube oil to be honest.

Curiosity killed the...oh no, wait

Curiosity might have killed the pussy

Ms P was more lenient than curiosity. She merely oiled it and shoved a crystal in it to silence it.

Who thought Goop could get any worse! (SMH)

The site has an article on 'what we can learn from termites'.

And meanwhile, as they got down to bizness on the wedding night….

Groomio found himself clamped by 4 years worth of crystal eggage.

As he fought to free himself, uncoupled ex blasted him with notinmybirdmate spray. As he shrivelled into a deeper sense of consciousness, he noticed that world had gone all yellow...

Why do you need an egg for your fanny? How do you get it out again?!?!!

And I've never oiled my public hair? Should I be? Like, is that a thing?

And a vibrator that's also a necklace? What the actual fucking fuck would you buy that for?

I am, obviously, the most sheltered human being that graced this earth.

I know this is ZOMBIE thread, but it’s my zombie thread, therefore allowed, and I just need to add.... GP, my pube de-matting hero is adding a line for men!

www.thecut.com/2019/06/goop-men-launch-jade-eggs.html

Now, as far as I can see it’s purely overpriced jumpers at the moment, but this quote ‘So ask yourself,” she added, “Are you crystal-curious?’ has me very exited for DH and his arsehole balance