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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wheelchair vs pram on bus

150 replies

Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/07/2018 01:46

disclaimer
This has never happened but AIBU to ask what you would do in this scenario if it occurred? (Will happen possibly in the next year while son is at pre school)

Ill be taking my son to pre school on the bus and back 3 times a week. There’s only 2 spaces on the bus for buggy’s or 1 buggy and 1 wheelchair and in normal circumstances I’d always always say the buggy gets folded or I would get off.

But my sons autisic and he sits on his buggy board with my daughter in the pram. He won’t get off to sit elsewhere but loves the bus if he’s sat there nicely.

If a wheelchair were to get on and need the space I was in.. AIBU to say no? It would be on the way to my sons special needs pre school and he’s also disabled? Or would it be a wheelchair trumps pram no matter what situation?

OP posts:
planetclom · 20/07/2018 01:52

You need to get a sign alert people that your pushchair is being used as a wheelchair. Problem solved (well you still get socks but you do what you can do.

MsFrizzle · 20/07/2018 01:52

Wheelchair trumps pram, even in the case of another disability. Sorry.

planetclom · 20/07/2018 01:52

Socks? Dicks

MsFrizzle · 20/07/2018 01:53

(i'm under the assumption here that your son is able to walk and while disabled, isn't physically disabled to the point where he needs the wheelchair space)

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 20/07/2018 01:55

I am autistic, so i say this understNding the complications your sons dusablity may cause.
But i'm afraid that the wheelchair still gets the place, i think you'd have to ger off i understand folding up wouldn't work in your situation.

TheSerenDipitY · 20/07/2018 01:56

so the person whos ONLY way to travel is in a wheelchair should get off the bus and wait till the next one?

planetclom · 20/07/2018 01:56

Msfrizzel no they don't. A chair used for support due to disability does not trump another one. First come .. however if a parent/carer thought they could hold their child to let a wheelchair on them that's fine but should be the parent/carers choice. I would never have done that as my sons you might as well set a fire cracker off in the bus if I tried to hold them.

MsFrizzle · 20/07/2018 01:58

A chair used for support due to disability does not trump another one.

I'm speaking as somebody who is autistic and physically disabled but able to walk here myself so I do understand the difficulty but when a wheelchair is their ONLY mode of transport vs a buggy that is sometimes used to assist with a disability, the wheelchair user should get the space. It's always been that prams < wheelchairs when it comes to bus spaces.

Original poster
Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/07/2018 01:59

I do understand that yes he is able to walk and therefore logically we should get off.

It’s also taking into consideration he won’t sit on the seat/get off his buggy board and gets very very upset when we have to take 2 buses in a row or we get off before the “desitonation”

I can see I am in the wrong though so would get off, just would be a nightmare

OP posts:
planetclom · 20/07/2018 02:00

Are you unaware that autism also causes physical issues? If so then stop giving "helpful" advice,
My son could not walk at 3 and due to his sensory issues nor could I hold him for more than a minute or so.

planetclom · 20/07/2018 02:02

You are not wrong. I get really fed up with disability top trumps and if you are the first on then say no, they need more flexible spaces on busses and trains not shaming people. (And yes they can do it)

Original poster
Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/07/2018 02:02

Ignore all the spelling errors!

OP posts:
MsFrizzle · 20/07/2018 02:03

Are you unaware that autism also causes physical issues?

I'm autistic. Don't patronise me about my own condition, thanks.

OP has just said he's able to walk - I understand the difficulties, but how does her son's nursery trump the possibility of a wheelchair user needing to get to a hospital appointment, for example?

You don't have to move and the bus driver can't force you to, but you'll likely get dirty looks for it. Is it possible to get a slightly earlier bus so you can make room for this possibility? Would you expect a wheelchair/pram user to get off of the bus if it's full? It's not an easy conundrum, but the wheelchair user has absolutely zero other choice but to use a wheelchair.

Original poster
Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/07/2018 02:04

I know in reality it’s an unlikely scenario just one that popped in to my head and wondered who would be more entitled as my son won’t get off the board (it’s a seat buggy board) so we don’t have that option.

Thank you

OP posts:
Mymycherrypie · 20/07/2018 02:05

Travelling by bus with kids is a nightmare. Can you learn to drive to make life a bit easier?

That’s not an option for the wheelchair user.

Original poster
Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/07/2018 02:07

The pre school is a special needs ones and 40 minutes away so we will be getting the bus with enough time now de bus bur unfortunately it’s likelt to be the very very busy 8.30 ones (starts at 9.30)

And no I’d not expect anyone to move for me and never have done .

I think if actually faced with it I’d probably be too embarrassed to say no anyway.

OP posts:
RoboJesus · 20/07/2018 02:07

You can get these little tag things (I think from the council) that give your buggy "disability aid status". Basically they can't discriminate against you if you were on the bus first.

Original poster
Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/07/2018 02:07

We can’t afford to drive unfortunately, to let it get a car!

OP posts:
Original poster
Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/07/2018 02:08

Robojesus

Thank you I had no idea I’ll look into one of those!

OP posts:
Willyoujustbequiet · 20/07/2018 02:09

Its not a disability to trumps as PP said. First come first served. Some autistic children in the situation described could have a meltdown and become a danger to themselves or indeed other passengers.

Stay put.

MsFrizzle · 20/07/2018 02:09

yeah, I was thinking that the 'buggy used as a wheelchair' thing was kind of wrong but the disability aid sounds good.

Mymycherrypie · 20/07/2018 02:12

Yeah see, I don’t think - can drive but won’t and can walk but won’t, does trump someone who can’t do either of those things.

fieryginger · 20/07/2018 02:15

Autism is a spectrum. Children with Autism going to school/nursery, if warranted, can have a school bus going to the special needs school.

Original poster
Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/07/2018 02:16

Mymycherrypie

I’ve already said realistically I would move.

But it’s not that he can walk and is lazy so chooses not too. He has a disability and a lot of sensory issues so stays on the buggy board. If I wanted to have a huge meltdown and a 3 year old on the floor crying, kicking and unable to express or understand why he can’t sit in the one place he feels safe outside the house.. yeah I’ll get him to walk.

And I can’t drive as we can’t afford it and I have personal issues related to fear over driving.

I DO understand we can both do those things but it’s not as if he’s choosing this because its easy and same for myself

OP posts:
Original poster
Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/07/2018 02:17

Yes there is a school needs bus we won’t be able to discuss if we qualify until a few months into the term though

OP posts: