Wheelchair vs pram on bus

[Thankfuckitsfriday1]

disclaimer
This has never happened but AIBU to ask what you would do in this scenario if it occurred? (Will happen possibly in the next year while son is at pre school)

Ill be taking my son to pre school on the bus and back 3 times a week. There’s only 2 spaces on the bus for buggy’s or 1 buggy and 1 wheelchair and in normal circumstances I’d always always say the buggy gets folded or I would get off.

But my sons autisic and he sits on his buggy board with my daughter in the pram. He won’t get off to sit elsewhere but loves the bus if he’s sat there nicely.

If a wheelchair were to get on and need the space I was in.. AIBU to say no? It would be on the way to my sons special needs pre school and he’s also disabled? Or would it be a wheelchair trumps pram no matter what situation?

She can’t afford to drive, so it’s not a choice. But yeah I would get off if I were you.

Google "disability buggy card" OP.
It seems you can buy a card to put on your buggy for £2 plus p and p.
Hopefully it would help guard against the situation you fear.

Mymycherrypie Fri 20-Jul-18 02:05:44
Travelling by bus with kids is a nightmare. Can you learn to drive to make life a bit easier

That’s not an option for the wheelchair user

Driving is certainly and option for the wheelchair user.
I use a wheelchair and I can drive. There are hundreds of adaptation options available.

Wingedharpy

Thank you I’ll do that now

I had an Uncle who was paraplegic.
He used a wheelchair.
He also drove a car.

Using a wheelchair is more that not walking.
There are endless combinations of health problems.
Because of the lack of mobility the body feels the cold more.
Waiting for the bus can be extremely cold even for the able bodied. It is so much worse when you are not active.
Wheelchair users won't be asked to leave a bus, the wheelchair space is for wheelchairs.

I do sympathise with your issue.
However no bus driver will let you stay on a bus just because you bought a badge from the internet.

I am not sure if there are any official ways to help you, something similar to the blue badge scheme.
If you had a blue badge you could show it to the bus driver as proof of your sons' needs.
Apply for a blue badge, does your son qualify for one? You would be better off googling blue badge requirements.

I'm a wheelchair user myself. I feel like the buggy is basically being used as a wheelchair and therefore should be treated as if it is one. I wouldn't be upset if I had to wait for another bus because someone like you was already there.

I agree that buying a badge from the internet isn't going to make the buggy trump a wheelchair - you need something more official. If it's a special needs preschool, can you talk to them about the issue? They might have some suggestions of places to look for help if they've had other children with the same issue.

Normally, I'd say wheelchair every time but in this case your son's special needs make his buggy board in effect his wheelchair, so it's first come first served. I agree that rather than mocking up a sign or buying an unofficial internet one, maybe you should approach social services, GP or the school itself to see if they can issue you with some kind of official headed paper document briefly outlining the circumstances that you can show any stroppy bus drivers or others who try to get you to move.

Those who say 'but he can walk' this isn't just a small child having a strop whose parent needs to make him comply or behave, it's a child with a condition that makes it unsafe to try and make him walk when he's out of his comfort zone. His buggy is his mobility aid.

There’s only 2 spaces on the bus for buggy’s or 1 buggy and 1 wheelchair
I have re read your post and spotted this.
So you have room for your buggy and also a wheelchair user.
What is the actual issue?

Your actual question should perhaps be, could you ask someone with buggy but without any special needs to get off the bus.

If there is a wheelchair on the bus you can still fit on.
Unless there is someone with a buggy, who you can politely ask to leave the bus because you need the buggy space more.

While I think having some official headed notepaper document would be helpful, I think having the disability buggy badge displayed AS WELL, would be useful in sending out the message that you aren't not wanting to move in order to be stroppy or prove some sort of point, but that you have a very good reason not to do so, even if that is not immediately apparent.

You don't need to ask the wheelchair user to get off .

You have my sympathies OP and I greatly admire you for thinking about this properly in advance - a lot of people have a much more inflated sense of entitlement and wouldn't consider this question.

I wonder if the bus company could help here. Where is the bus depot? Or alternatively is there a transport museum nearby?

I'm thinking of some slow and careful work to expand the places that your ds feels safe. You will need to think of this within the next couple of years anyway as he won't fit on this buggy board for long. I'm thinking of a special visit getting to explore an empty, stationary bus, getting to understand the different parts. There might be other things you can do to make this exploration feel safe - perhaps playing favourite music? This may need to be repeated a few times but hopefully could lead to your ds identifying an actual seat on the bus where he feels OK. - eg the back right-hand corner of the rearmost long seat - or whatever he chooses. It might take a few visits but it might get you there.

Then if this situation with a wheelchair does arrise you might be able to sit in the chosen area anyway, or if it is occupied you can say to the driver - I am very happy to move but my son is also disabled though mobile, he can walk but he can't cope with being on the bus unless he is in the buggy or in (this specific seat) so might you be able to help rearrange passengers to allow everyone to be OK? You might even be able to persuade the bus company to provide you with a letter supporting you and requesting that all staff and passengers should please kindly give your ds priority for (this specific seat) in the event that the wheelchair space can't be used.

How old is your youngest? Is it possible to get rid of the buggy all together and perhaps invest in scooters? Or put the younger child in a baby carrier if she's really little?

Thanks all.

When he starts his pre school I’ll ask about the badge or certificate we can carry around. We have his compass card but unsure his would do.

Imchlibob - this is an amazing idea and I happen to actually know someone who’s parent is a bus driver so I think I’ll definitely be arranging some visit, do a photo book and get him used to the setting and the seats because as you say he will grow out of the buggy board soon anyway and we’ll need an alternative! What a great idea I hadn’t even thought of.

Thank you all, it’s a bit of a mixed response. I hope the situation never arises as I still don’t know what I’d do tbh. I don’t love confrontation so would likely get off but if it’s been a stressful day already with my son I’d like to think for his sake I would be polite but stay put.

Thank you all for your responses though

Can you contact the bus company or whatever Organisation is in charge and see if they are able to offer a so,Union? Something from them to attach to the buggy so all drivers know that your buggy equals a wheelchair in these situation?

Legally, the bus driver can't usually do much other than ask anyone (regardless of whether their child is disabled or not) sternly to fold up the pram/pushchair, and possibly threaten to not drive on until the space is made available for the wheelchair user. There was a case about this in the Supreme Court last year. I know that it was suggested that Parliament should perhaps consider changing the law to give wheelchair users an enforceable priority over prams/pushchairs, but afaik this hasn't been done yet (they are probably a bit busy with Brexit...).

Morally, I think in your particular circumstances it would be fair not to move. Hopefully this won't be an issue because you said the spaces can fit 1 pram and 1 wheelchair, so would only be an issue if there was another pram user who had a disabled child too or had a non-disabled child but was being a bit of a dick.

Practically, whilst those stickers that Wingedharpy linked to are not official, I think they would still be very useful to show to the bus driver that you are not just coming up with fake excuses on the spot if this situation ever does arise, and similarly to show to any other pram users who might otherwise say 'I don't see why I should have to fold up my pram if she won't.'

Local authority provides transport for my son have you looked into this OP ?

Just read previous comment sorry

I have an autistic child in special school. My opinion is that while I understand your difficulties the wheelchair has priority I'm afraid. Your issue us that you son has got used to a routine and you are reluctant to change it. In the long term he will need to adjust to sitting on the bus seat, sitting on the buggy board is not going to be sustainable.
Have you tried social stories about sitting on the bus. Shot one stop journeys with a reward at the end for sitting on the seat etc.
You could start working in this now in preparation for September.

I think it depends on your ability to travel without using up that space. The fact that he can physically walk isn't the issue so much as whether you could get him to physically walk. If he would be upset but eventually get used to it then yes definitely get off. If he was likely to have a melt down and become a danger to himself then I think you have a genuine need to use the disabled space.

People using a wheelchair can learn to drive in specially adapted cars, I know two people who have these and have never used a bus because buses round here aren't available easily.

I think you shouldn't have to necessarily move if there are frequent buses getting the next one shouldn't be a massive issue for anyone.

Possibly irrelevant but couldn’t you just drive instead if we’re taking about a year in the future?