Wheelchair vs pram on bus

[Thankfuckitsfriday1]

disclaimer
This has never happened but AIBU to ask what you would do in this scenario if it occurred? (Will happen possibly in the next year while son is at pre school)

Ill be taking my son to pre school on the bus and back 3 times a week. There’s only 2 spaces on the bus for buggy’s or 1 buggy and 1 wheelchair and in normal circumstances I’d always always say the buggy gets folded or I would get off.

But my sons autisic and he sits on his buggy board with my daughter in the pram. He won’t get off to sit elsewhere but loves the bus if he’s sat there nicely.

If a wheelchair were to get on and need the space I was in.. AIBU to say no? It would be on the way to my sons special needs pre school and he’s also disabled? Or would it be a wheelchair trumps pram no matter what situation?

Oddbins - it was his buggy but we got a buggy board with a seat when she was born and it took a lot of work for him to be okay sittingon that instead. It’s sort of enclosed as he has bars either side, me behind him and my daughter in front. We have breaks on it so it’s very safe.

My daughter is 8 months so will be in the buggy for at least the next year if not year and a half so we have until then to help him transition off the buggy board seat. I am hoping to do visits to the bus company as my friends parent works there and I can take photos and gradually build up tolerance.

Social stories do not work at the moment although we do try. His support worker and speech and language therapist have said he hasn’t got the understanding yet to be able to comprehend photos relating to words. He doesn’t understand much of what we say and can’t talk. We’ve tried Makaton but it hasn’t been help yet either.

He will only be at the ore school for a year and then the school he will go to is in walking distance so hopefully we can tackle this before that comes about. Also hoping his special needs ore school helps with his talking and understanding.

He does wear ear defenders and a hat to help with sensory issues but no not a compression vest. I will look into that though!

Becciboo - he can’t sit on my lap for all the reasons I’ve explained here .

It’s as if his world falls as part when I try to take him off. But I am going to start working on that when he starts pre school.

And we can’t afford the lessons to drive let alone the car, tax ect

Pitterpatterofbigfeet - I’ll do that thank you, I’m seeing no answer as to wether I could or couldn’t stay or would be unreasonable or not so will seek advice from NAS.

Thank you

obviously we are all different but compression shirts from here certainly helps me. Otherwise I feel like I'm going to fall all the time.
jettproof.co.uk/

Only you will know if this could be possible, but is it possible to work towards a different routine with your son?
One that meant you could carry your daughter in a sling and he could walk and sit with you on the bus?

I guess there will come a time soon ish when he is too big for the buggy board?

Good luck your son is lucky he has you you sound amazing!

I’ll start lookin now, he’s just recently been granted DLA so will buy one. Thank you!

There is space for a pram and a wheelchair on the bus.

Ah, sorry just read your last post!

Pitterpatterofbigfeet - thank you, this means a lot. I am a fairly young mum and often get nasty looks when he has a meltdown outside or struggles and I know it’s becaue I look young. Even with his ear defenders on they stare!

Do you get DLA/PIP for your son?
Apply for this successfully and you will be able to show your award letter because he will be deemed as actually disabled.
You can then apply for a blue badge and show that to the bus driver/other buggy pushers.

This wheelchair spot is for wheelchairs.

Foodylicious - that’s the long term plan :)

Melonscoffer - we do yes, I didn’t know that! Thank you

Would he feel comfy and safe in a sling? I know some sling users have ones suitable to 4/5 years old.

Crossed post with you.

He's been granted DLA. That will be very useful and opens lots of doors.

Just as a matter of interest I thought all new applicants went on PIP> not being sarky or anything but interested.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet - pretty bold of you to talk about ‘plain stupid’ advice when you’ve used the phrase ‘equal priority over a wheelchair’ which is completely fucking meaningless. One can’t have ‘equal priority’.

I use a wheelchair, but even I find this a difficult one.
I would feel awful if a child had a meltdown because of me, but if I was using a bus I'd need to get from A to B just like everyone else. I see both sides.

I'm lucky that I drive, so I can avoid public transport, however if I relied on it I would be pretty stressed out if I couldn't get to work on time etc.
Public transport is already hit and miss for wheelchair users. Some drivers simply pretend you're not there because they don't want to get the ramps out.

Just so you know, when your son is in full time school he should be entitled to free transport, which may help.

Melonscoffer - perhaps because he’s a child? We requested the child DLA forms and got them and it’s all gone through

I’ve no idea though l

melonscoffer - Why are you giving out advice in relation to DLA when you clearly know nothing about it? Because if you did you'd already know that PIP is only for those aged 16 and over, children still get DLA. And you'd also know that whether the OP had a blue badge for her son or not is irrelevant. The key point is that not only is the buggy not a special needs buggy, but the boy isn't even in it - thus it (unlike a special needs buggy) is not the equivalent of a wheelchair.
It's funny how some people assume if you think they should move that means you don't understand or have experience of autism. I understand autism just fine, but I can also read. It's called the wheelchair space, not the disabled space. And in reference to the earlier "top trumps" post about where the hypothetical wheelchair user might be going, that's also irrelevant. Regardless of the time of day or where the wheelchair user might be going its still a WHEELCHAIR SPACE. I don't get why that seems to be so difficult for people to comphrend.

don't get why that seems to be so difficult for people to comphrend.

Because on the while people are generally a bit envious, stupid and stubborn, so when one group of people have access to something they rightly don't, they get stupid and try to justify jelousy.

Captainkirkaaparetupee - If that’s aimed at me or my posts I don’t feel that’s fair at all. I asked a question as I was sure if it’s for all those disabled or just wheelchair users. I’ve already said in reality I’m not comfortable with confrontation and would likely leave the bus but I wasn’t sure as he’s disabled too.

Detectivegoran - I hadn’t thought about it being a “wheelchair” space as stupid as that sounds in my mind it was more for those disabled as opposed to those in wheelchairs.. for example someone’s broken their leg and using a wheelchair. I wouldn’t have thought my disabled son would need to move to accommodate that. But as I’ve said previously yes I would likely move, the points brought up are good though as we would likely be using a disability buggy (major mclaren) in the future.

I didn’t realise posters got so heated/opinionated on mumsnet

Captainkirkaaparetupee - If that’s aimed at me or my posts I don’t feel that’s fair at all.
I can assure you it's not aimed at you, it was a reply to another poster and not about anyone in particular.

If you son is going to a SEN school and it is 40 mins away , why have the school not provided transport?

Cheaper the better - they’ve said we will discuss it a few months into the term as he is physically able to get onto a bus and doesn’t have meltdowns (as long as he’s on is board) that he isn’t in immediate need.

But we haven discusses it much and I’m sure we will at our home visit in September

Thankfuckitsfriday1 - Well you were wrong, yes your son would have to move because that person is in a wheelchair and your son isn't. Its not rocket science. And yes, such topics do get pretty heated. You know why? Because disabled people have to put up with this kind of stuff every single day, and you get pretty sick of people questioning your right to do something as simple as catching a bus. So yes, people do tend to get pretty angry about it, and I make no apology for that.