Wheelchair vs pram on bus

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disclaimer
This has never happened but AIBU to ask what you would do in this scenario if it occurred? (Will happen possibly in the next year while son is at pre school)

Ill be taking my son to pre school on the bus and back 3 times a week. There’s only 2 spaces on the bus for buggy’s or 1 buggy and 1 wheelchair and in normal circumstances I’d always always say the buggy gets folded or I would get off.

But my sons autisic and he sits on his buggy board with my daughter in the pram. He won’t get off to sit elsewhere but loves the bus if he’s sat there nicely.

If a wheelchair were to get on and need the space I was in.. AIBU to say no? It would be on the way to my sons special needs pre school and he’s also disabled? Or would it be a wheelchair trumps pram no matter what situation?

Why can't he just sit on your knee ?

yes but specially adapted cars cost FAR FAR more then the old bangers / normal cars people can get you know especially with the tory government actually taking disability cars of people.

A normal everyday basic car costs 5k for a decent one for the most basic of adapted costs well over 15k......

My friend who needed hand gears was quoted 22k for a bog standard car that had a big enough boot for her wheelchair if it was not adapted would only of cost her 9k brand new....

Wheelchair. Obviously.

My friend both get their cars on the motability scheme, so they just pay a normal HP amount for the cars they want form their motability allowance, so sourcing a car isn't an issue they have faced.

There seems also to be a common preconception that wheelchair users only ever go out to go to hospital appointments (comes up on every thread like this - they could be going to an important hospital appointments).
Wheelchair users also go out and do normal crap like everybody else. The person with the pram could be on the way to an important hospital appointment and the wheelchair user going to the pub.
Who do we throw off now?

Wheelchair

If you were unable to fold it, you would have yo get off and wait on another bus.

I understand your son as a disability but it is not disability that needs a wc space. I guess if you were on an important journey to the hospital you could ask the person using the wc to wait on the next bus. Otherwise wc takes the space.

We've now gone from disability/ability top trumps to journey top trumps.

OP, what will you do when your daughter no longer needs a pram?

Tomatoesrock autism can require a wheelchair space.

Absolutely agree with TistyTosty. And this isn’t a pop at you, OP - you seem very reasonable. But the time will come when your son will simply not be able to use the buggy board and thus essentially ‘turn’ your daughter’s pram into a wheelchair (not a thing, btw). What will you do then?

Its not always just a case of having learnt a routine and this can be changed. A friends grandaughters both have different elements of autism but all called autism. One of them has a requirement for a safe space to support her being out and about and going forward this will be her buggy, but it will be a disability buggy chair so look a bit different to a normal buggy which helps but a normal buggy would do until she reaches a certain size - she is also 3, but without this safe space she will melt down to the extreme which is unhealthy for her in terms of she is left distraught and exhausted and as she is getting bigger dangerous for those around or trying to help her like Mum or Dad. So it is more than just having learnt a routine that can be unlearnt or relearnt a different way. Anxiety and reaction to that plays a big part

You can get ‘treat as wheelchair’ signs. I would say your right to the space is equal to the wheelchairs. In fact having the leave the bus mid journey would likely cause your child more distress than many wheelchair uses having to wait for the next bus (mum to 2 autistic kids, one of which would not cope in the scenario you’d describe)

So the pram isn't even for your autistic child its that he wants to stand on the buggy board?

Firstly how is that safe on a moving vehicle?

Secondly yes you do need to move absolutely. This is not a special needs buggy or one used for disability. Your son will have to adapt to what it safe.

Its a "hierarchy of disability" issue - I think you might need to talk to bus company & his doctor & to the NAS (by phone) & see if any of them can suggest something.When you talk to the bus company ask to speak to someone about a disability access advice - but talk to the NAS first.

A lot of people are complete unaware how severe ASD can be. First of all its developmental & children are socially less developed & have less understanding than their peers - it isn't that easy to get a child to behave in the way you want - their minds are fixed & find it difficult to switch to their behaviour or understand why. Children can eventually learn to adapt to some degree over time but it affects different children in different ways in different degrees of disability. Managing their behaviour with another child as well is far more difficult than people understand - before making assumptions it is worthwhile reading NAS website.

the council use to pay for children transport to special schools or education?

Yes, you would have to get off if DS refuses to be on bus not standing on buggy board.

However, Dione is correct - what will you do when you no longer have the pram/buggy board? Maybe start thinking about strategies, other options DS might be able to cope with. It must be very difficult

Op, what about getting a Maclaren Major for your son, and putting your baby in a sling? That way, you should be able to use the wheelchair space as it’s a wheelchair buggy?

Saying that, I was once asked to leave a bus because I refused to move for a wheelchair when my son was in his Mac major. The woman who got on after me with a pram refused to leave the pram space, so I had to get off the bus. Was 8 months pregnant at the time. The bus drivers attitude was awful, I did complain and got a letter from the bus company to show any driver who didn’t accept the Mac major as a wheelchair buggy. The company also informed all drivers about disability buggies and what some models looked like.

Hope you’re able to get transport sorted for him. Why are they not providing it straight away, it’s standard here for all children attending SS, including nursery. My son used to get a bright yellow bus, we called it the balamory bus.

Does your son have a sensory compression vest or weighted vest? Part of bus travel being so awful for those of us who are autistic can be that we have such a poor proprioceptive sense? Compression/weighted vests can help organise our senses better. Also does he have a hoody/peaked hat/sunglasses/ear defenders/headphones? All these can help us feel safer by cutting down on sensory stimulation.
I do sympathise with him. I find bus travel terribly difficult but am medically unable to drive.

In London wheelchair users always take priority and pushchairs will be asked to leave (if not enough space).

Wheelchair had priority by law, even over things like maclaren pushchairs.

Wheelchair user should get the space every single time

I actually don't think this is a good place to ask for advice - a lot of the advice given is wrong or plain stupid. I would seek advice from NAS as a lot of it will depend on your son's specific needs. Obviously if he's older and in a special needs wheelchair this has equal priority over a wheelchair (one would hope that if the situation arose where two people needed one space the two people would be able to sensibly decide between them who needed it most).

The space is a wheelchair one, buggies don’t actually have any right to use it. Are you in a city with frequent buses or a place with services every half an hour or so? I have been travelling on London buses with a buggy several tones a week for 2 years now and I have never ever seen this situation arise. I’ve never seen a wheelchair user on a bus. Many do in fact drive because it’s a lot more convenient and is perfectly possible with hand controls (I have 2 wheelchair users in my family and both drive).
What I suggest is that you don’t over think this but if it does ever happen you have an open and polite discussion with the wheelchair user (or their carer if they also have a cognitive disability) and work out a sensible solution taking into account all the circumstances at the time. There’s no reason why a wheelchair user should be any more difficult to engage with than any other member of the public.