AIBU - just found porn on Husband's phone

[JerryLarryTerryGarry]

Had lovely family lunch out, DH, myself, DD and DS. Came home, DH has to cut the grass. Leaves his phone with me whilst he does to view new family member photo's, then I find 3 videos and 2 photo's of downloaded stuff that shocked me to the core. Didn't jump down his throat at first as I know his brother has sent him things before that he shouldn't have, but then he freely admitted he had downloaded them and his defence was - It's lesbian porn. Threw a glass of water in his face and shoved him out the door and told him not to return. Does anyone else tolerate porn? I don't even know.

I watch more porn than my Husband.

Get a fucking grip.

I’m fine with porn.

Oh fgs. You threw a glass of water in his face? Lucky escape for him.

YABU

There's no need to swear

wow, talk about overreacting!

Blimey. I doubt he'd want to come back after that reaction

It's porn not videos of his colleague FFS.

Whether or not porn is acceptable to you you have assaulted him and that is not acceptable.

I don’t want it shoved into my face. But if my partner watched occasionally I wouldn’t care really.
How do you know it wasn’t something his brother sent him? Things sent in WhatsApp tend to download automatically so it’s entirely possible it’s not something he sought out and downloaded for himself.

Sneaky - yes that was me holding back. Big time.

It’s perfectly okay to not want porn in your (or your husband’s life). If people actually read at all and did any research they would realise how bloody awful porn is - for your mental and physical health, for your relationship, for the poor women who work in the industry, and society at large. Unfortunately all some people care about is their own orgasms.

So if the OP is genuine, then yes, you have every right not to tolerate.

I think porn gives an unhealthy view of sex and he's watching other women have sex and getting off on it. That's ok with some people and not others. I think that's up to you to decide. X

It would be marriage over for me and he knows it.

I wouldn't throw water in his face though.

Strange dichotomy here. Everyone can own their own sexuality, but the porn industry is grim and abusive. so maybe you need to have a chat.

So you're saying you'd happily have assaulted him more seriously? How generous of you to "hold back".

NN - I asked him and he said it was him that did it.

I watch more porn than my husband. I’m an adult. It has no bearing on how attractive I find my husband or my relationship.

You are massively unreasonable.

If that was really you holding back OP, he really needs to get out. What else do you control him over?

It's ok for women to perve over the diet coke man though,,,,

Or torso of the week in heat

But the sun can't have topless any more

The porn industry is extremely exploitive and anti-feminist. Many of the women involved are coerced into doing it or do it because they feel they have no other option financially.
Nobody wants to grow up to be a porn star I’m sure.
YANBU, (other than the water thing - that was uncalled for)

Sounds to me like he's the one who should be leaving you.

Sorry that you're upset, but I think porn is fairly common now OP.
Sounds as if you need to talk to him and work out why it bothers you. Do you view it as cheating? Degrading to women? Is he otherwise a good husband and you might work through this?