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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - just found porn on Husband's phone

853 replies

JerryLarryTerryGarry · 15/04/2018 19:03

Had lovely family lunch out, DH, myself, DD and DS. Came home, DH has to cut the grass. Leaves his phone with me whilst he does to view new family member photo's, then I find 3 videos and 2 photo's of downloaded stuff that shocked me to the core. Didn't jump down his throat at first as I know his brother has sent him things before that he shouldn't have, but then he freely admitted he had downloaded them and his defence was - It's lesbian porn. Threw a glass of water in his face and shoved him out the door and told him not to return. Does anyone else tolerate porn? I don't even know.

OP posts:
ButchyRestingFace · 15/04/2018 19:20

Bitch?? What’s going on. Are you a big fat trolley mctrollface OP.

I believe she may be trying to address me there. Not sure who 'Rat' is though.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 15/04/2018 19:21

Oh I see Grin

Mamabear1475 · 15/04/2018 19:21

But yet you still didn't answer the question of what you would have done if you didn't hold yourself back?
So you told him not to come back? What will you tell your dd then when she asks where he is?

ilovesooty · 15/04/2018 19:21

Of course throwing water in someone's face is assault.

minimalpatience · 15/04/2018 19:21

Most men look at porn. I'm not saying it is right or wrong. Personally, it doesn't bother me. Clearly it bothers you, so you need to decide whether it is a "deal breaker" for you going forward.

Original poster
JerryLarryTerryGarry · 15/04/2018 19:21

Ok - I went over the top with the water. That's what I'm asking. I am sorry about that. But I'm just asking - do partner's mind or not mind - I don't know

OP posts:
DairyisClosed · 15/04/2018 19:21

I really think that you need to explain yourself to him and beg for forgiveness at this point.

bonnyshide · 15/04/2018 19:22

You have completely overreacted

Original poster
JerryLarryTerryGarry · 15/04/2018 19:22

Thanks minimalpatience - this is the type of comment I am looking for, that's why I am here on MM

OP posts:
UrgentExitRequired · 15/04/2018 19:22

I think your reaction was uncalled for and way over the top. If you have an issue with him having this on his phone, I think there are better ways to handle to issue. Start by explaining how it has made you feel and maybe you can reach a compromise. From his attitude I doubt it'll be something he is willing to stop completely.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 15/04/2018 19:22

This 'cool wives' shit is really pissing me off. Does it ever occur to some of you that men AND women sometimes enjoy porn? It's not just a male issue.

Coolaschmoola · 15/04/2018 19:23

He needs to start using the In Private browser option...

That's how I watch porn if I feel the need. My DH doesn't, but he also has no issues with me watching it either.

wormery · 15/04/2018 19:23

How did you know they were porno videos.

Original poster
JerryLarryTerryGarry · 15/04/2018 19:23

bonnyshide - this is what I genuinely want to know. Thank you

OP posts:
OakIsBetterTho · 15/04/2018 19:24

You sound vile. Not for having boundaries (although I would hope they've been previously clearly communicated) and not for losing your temper but for assaulting your husband and not even feeling remotely sorry about it. I hope he leaves you. I'd be horrified if my DP treated me the way you treated your 'D'H.
Oh and as a pp has said, it didn't hurt him is absolutely no defence.

Chortlesauraus · 15/04/2018 19:24

Lesbian porn shocked you to your core??? Really?!

Alrighty then....

Original poster
JerryLarryTerryGarry · 15/04/2018 19:24

Wormery - it was a still with a triangle on it, I didn't click on it but he said what it was.

OP posts:
cloudyweewee · 15/04/2018 19:24

I would absolutely hate it if my DH looked at porn. I don't think it's OK at all, but no doubt I'm a total dinosaur.

Trinity66 · 15/04/2018 19:24

But I'm just asking - do partner's mind or not mind - I don't know

Wouldn't bother me at all

Zeelove · 15/04/2018 19:25

Complete over reaction

Original poster
JerryLarryTerryGarry · 15/04/2018 19:25

Chortlesaurus - no the situation shocked me. Was meant to be looking at baby photo's

OP posts:
Beaverhausen · 15/04/2018 19:25

Wow! OP you seriously need to apologise to your husband that is if you still have one. It is due to reactions like that that some men then go on to lie to their partners.

i watch porn when I have a bit of a play, my partner works long hours and is not always up for a bit of nooky. It is porn not another womans number and him sexting her.

Major over reaction IMO.

Original poster
JerryLarryTerryGarry · 15/04/2018 19:26

Trinity66 - thank you

OP posts:
Zeelove · 15/04/2018 19:26

Also no I don't mind. Spent last night showing my boyfriend lesbian scenes in oitnb. He's not shagging them

Original poster
JerryLarryTerryGarry · 15/04/2018 19:26

Thank you Cloudyweewee

OP posts:
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