Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say BF Mums shouldn't be getting fed if...

454 replies

daydrinker · 15/04/2018 14:15

IF FF Mums aren't?

My local hospital always feeds the BF mums but leaves the FF ones. They have to sort themselves out.

I've been to the local hospital a good few times now with DS and always asked within an hour if I want food Shock

If overnight stay, I'm fed 3 times a day with biscuits and tea in between. Formula feeding mums aren't offered anything.

AIBU to say this isn't fair?

My milk supply doesn't all of a sudden vanish if I'm hungry.

OP posts:
Bambamber · 15/04/2018 14:26

Just because your milk supply isn't affected it doesn't mean others will be fine. Plus it's not just milk supply, breastfeeding can take it's toll on the woman. Not just that, but it can be harder for the bf mum to leave the child for a longer period of time to get something to eat than a ff mum (in the sense of feeding, emotionally it would be just as hard).

I'm not necessarily saying I disagree. I think food should be available for all parents staying on a ward with their child. I know funds and staff are in short supply, but even if someone came round with some sandwiches and snacks to buy (at a reasonable price)

FizzyGreenWater · 15/04/2018 14:27

My milk supply doesn't all of a sudden vanish if I'm hungry

I think the idea is that it kind of does!

Not immediately I grant you.

And it would be nice if they could make provision for ALL mums who are equally taken up with feeding and caring for their newborns while in hospital. But I guess that's a funding issue.

The key thing is that if a mum who is BF becomes dehydrated while in hospital, it could put her newborn's life in danger or at least create real feeding issues (bf baby then may not feed from a bottle if supply is messed up). So there's an arguable clinical duty of care. The same just isn't true for FF babies.

But I get your point.

PurpleDaisies · 15/04/2018 14:27

Have you got a link saying this is their policy?

drivingmebananas · 15/04/2018 14:30

Bit of a weird think to think is unreasonable - I can't imagine getting worked up about mothers of breastfed babies in hospital being fed?

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 15/04/2018 14:30

Ff mum's are also able to leave the ward to get food and someone else can feed the baby. It's not just milk supply.

There has to be cut off somewhere. What about if mum and dad want to stay, do they have to feed them both?

Serena1985 · 15/04/2018 14:33

So a breastfeeding mum can’t leave a hospital ward to get a sandwich now?

Just another covert way to “shame” ff mums and make them feel like they are in the wrong. Of course it’s not ok.

Original poster
daydrinker · 15/04/2018 14:34

I thought it was odd first time round that the woman next to me wasn't being fed, so next time I was there on a ward, I asked the staff. They confirmed what I thought and was also told by two friends who've been there before

Another BF friend of mine also clarified that she was fed too, when another Mum with a newborn type baby (FF) was not.

My friend's DC is 2.

OP posts:
ILikeMyChickenFried · 15/04/2018 14:34

I think it's unkind. A FF mum isn't going to want to leave her sick baby though anymore than a BF mum and there generally aren't nurses around ready to feed the baby a bottle if he's hungry. It's just the NHS being OTT in their breast is best message again without actually doing anything helpful.

blackteasplease · 15/04/2018 14:34

I definitely think bf mums should continue to be fed! It does affect milk supply and is very draining. You would be famished and exhausted if not fed in those circs.

Ideally all parents ( the one who is staying, not the one goung home each night) should be fed when their kids are little as it's really hard to go out and get stuff of theirs no support or your child is clinging . But there is a money issue!

TheQueenOfWands · 15/04/2018 14:34

OMFG! Lightbulb moment!!

I FF DS, was 21 and didn't know how to BF. I was in hospital about 30 hours and wasn't offered any food. Or even a drink.

I thought they just weren't bothered. Had no idea it was because I FF.

onemorecakeplease · 15/04/2018 14:35

When dd was in hospital I was told it was only mums of bf babies under two weeks old.
If sh me had been older I would have had to go to the canteen. Like I would leave my two week old baby and go get dinner!!

blackteasplease · 15/04/2018 14:36

I'm a long way from my bfing days but find the idea of anyone wanting to take this away quite cruel tbh.

Dozer · 15/04/2018 14:37

To clarify, the mothers of babies or young toddlers are not themselves patients but are accompanying their DC, and the DC are inpatients?

ILikeMyChickenFried · 15/04/2018 14:37

I dont think the OP wants to take it away but perhaps it would be better to offer this to all primary carers of tiny babies

Serena1985 · 15/04/2018 14:37

That is not the cruel aspect of this

MrsJayy · 15/04/2018 14:37

So what your saying is patients in a hospital are not getting food ? Or am I picking you up wrong

Stroller15 · 15/04/2018 14:37

What? Where is this? Is this on maternity wards? I'm in Scotland and FF my DS and didn't even think I won't get food?

Babyplaymat · 15/04/2018 14:38

Surely it just recognises that the health of one relies on the health of the other?

JoandMax · 15/04/2018 14:38

This was the policy in our local hospital when DS2 was a baby - he was admitted at 5 weeks very very poorly. I’d been up for hours and hours and couldn’t leave him as he was very distressed. DH was at home with our 20 month old. Asked if I could have some breakfast and was told no as I wasn’t BF in a very snide manner. He was actually tube fed at this point........

I think whether the staying parents are fed or not should be decided on by need not feeding method of the baby.

Kpo58 · 15/04/2018 14:38

I do think that when there is a very young child/baby in hospital, one parent should have the option to be fed. You often cannot leave a very young child alone for any real time and it's much cheaper than hiring more staff to look after them whilst the parent goes to get food.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 15/04/2018 14:39

Can someone clarify what this thread is about? You’re not talking on post natal wards, surely?

You’re talking about a visit to a chiksren’s Ward when you’re breastfeeding them, right?

Serena1985 · 15/04/2018 14:39

Yeah you’re right. Those lowly gross ff mums can just be unhealthy and hungry. Not like it would affect their babies after all.

Changednamesorry · 15/04/2018 14:40

That's absurd. In Spain you get proper meals regardless of how you choose to feed your baby. It's almost like they thing giving birth is a big deal for the mother physically here and care about women's health...... imagine that NHS ...... Hmm

MrsJayy · 15/04/2018 14:40

Ah ok thanks I was very confused , I am also confused why hospital visitors are getting fed because they are breast feeding

TheQueenOfWands · 15/04/2018 14:40

Oh, I thought we were talking about after we gave birth. Sorry!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread