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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say BF Mums shouldn't be getting fed if...

454 replies

daydrinker · 15/04/2018 14:15

IF FF Mums aren't?

My local hospital always feeds the BF mums but leaves the FF ones. They have to sort themselves out.

I've been to the local hospital a good few times now with DS and always asked within an hour if I want food Shock

If overnight stay, I'm fed 3 times a day with biscuits and tea in between. Formula feeding mums aren't offered anything.

AIBU to say this isn't fair?

My milk supply doesn't all of a sudden vanish if I'm hungry.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 15/04/2018 15:38

Not sure I believe this as a fact. Are you sure you've not got your wires crossed.

BuntyII · 15/04/2018 15:39

'The FF mums just starve themselves as they can't bear to leave a poorly child.'

Don't be daft! FF mums are all out partying the week after giving birth. Nothing severs the mother and baby bond like a bottle Wink

Oysterbabe · 15/04/2018 15:40

My 2 year old is having heart surgery soon and if things go smoothly she'll be in hospital for a week. Either my husband or I will be by her side 24 7. I'm currently breastfeeding a 3 month old. The hospital said they will feed me when I'm there but not my husband. I find it a bit odd that they'll feed me tbh, neither me nor the breastfeeding baby will be patients. I guess it's all to do with encouraging and supporting breastfeeding.

Lweji · 15/04/2018 15:41

Are FF babies provided formula milk?

The equivalent is to feed breastfeeding mums.

BuntyII · 15/04/2018 15:41

@Slievenamon in that case they must provide formula for the FF babies. Not sure if this is the case

OldJoseph · 15/04/2018 15:43

About 14 years ago dd had a minor operation and because she was bf the hospital said they would feed me. Great I thought, that was until they presented me with the children's menu consisting of fish fingers, smiley faces and beans (and versions of this meal).
So while I was fed, it wasn't very nutritious either for me or a child.

Chrys2017 · 15/04/2018 15:44

Chrys I can remember making tea and toast many times for visitors who were sitting with dying relatives. It's the least we could do.

That was a nice thing to do.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 15/04/2018 15:44

I think the OP is talking about if you have a bf baby who has to go into hospital and you have to stay with them. DD1 was admitted for a laparoscopy when she was 4 months. I had to buy my own food, and I was only allowed to stay overnight because I was bfing.

lalalalyra · 15/04/2018 15:44

in that case they must provide formula for the FF babies. Not sure if this is the case

They do on the ward DD4 has been on. They only have the one kind though so if your baby doesn't have that you have to organise your own.

Slievenamon · 15/04/2018 15:45

I would imagine they do.

sirlee66 · 15/04/2018 15:46

@Grandmaswagsbag

If the hospital provides formula for the babies it makes perfect sense to provide food for a bf mother too.

^This.

Hospital is providing food for both babies.
Formula for the FF baby and real food via the mother to pass on to the BF baby.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 15/04/2018 15:46

Are FF babies provided formula milk?

Usually No, it's against the BF advice.

I feel.as though a lot of people on this thread aren't really aware of how limited the care on a paediatric ward are. The staff are wonderful people but they barely have time to breathe let alone sit and bottle feed a baby for 15 minutes.

Lweji · 15/04/2018 15:46

So while I was fed, it wasn't very nutritious either for me or a child.

Of course it is. They want to make sure they get the main nutrients. Protein, fat and carbohydrates.

Of course they should also have provided some greens and fruit, but I'm sure their main concern is to ensure the meal is appealing to all children, not to battle to make them eat greens.

ILikeMyChickenFried · 15/04/2018 15:47

I was only allowed to stay overnight because I was bfing.

This is also so very unfair. Can you imagine having to leave a poorly 4 month old because he eats from a bottle rather than a breast.

Lweji · 15/04/2018 15:49

"Are FF babies provided formula milk?"

Usually No, it's against the BF advice.

That would only apply for newborns, if true.

I feel.as though a lot of people on this thread aren't really aware of how limited the care on a paediatric ward are. The staff are wonderful people but they barely have time to breathe let alone sit and bottle feed a baby for 15 minutes.

Providing formula doesn't mean the staff has to feel the child. Regardless, I'm sure they do if no parent is around during the day or night and the child is hungry. What a strange notion.

SpagettiNetty · 15/04/2018 15:50

Mrsmadeevans I’m also in Wales, and that was my experience when DC2 was admitted for 5 days.

There was a tiny kitchenette with a fridge and microwave parents could use, and free coffee/tea available for parents to make whenever they wanted.

At meal times, they fed the children first, then parents could buy any leftover sandwiches/meals for £1.

I never saw anyone treated differently because they were FF.

I do remember being offered toast at breakfast when DC only wanted cereal not both, but saw them offer that to both bf and ff mums.

MollyDaydream · 15/04/2018 15:51

Isn't it just that the hospital feeds the patient, not their parents/visitors?

So if the patient is breastfed, they simply feed the person producing the breastmilk.

saison4 · 15/04/2018 15:58

my hospital has this rule and makes total sense to me. I was in for 2 weeks when DD was 3 weeks old and fully BF. She was constantly feeding. I would not have been able to leave the ward to sort my own food as noone else would have been able to feed her (we tried expressed mild via bottle). If the baby is formula fed then anyone can feed the child. Plus BF does make very hungry abd you need significantly more calories than a FF mum. Plus, if you are in for few weeks, you won't make adequate amounts of milk.

I know staff probably won't have time to FF the baby but most people have visitors and it is entirely possible for a dad to feed a bottle. BF mum do not have this option. Is this really so hard to understand?

mirime · 15/04/2018 16:00

The day after DS and I were discharged we were back in due to DS losing 12.5% of his birth weight. We were sent straight to the children's ward where eventually, as I was BF, I got given a very nice meal (by hospital standards). I did ask about DH and they got him a sandwich but said they weren't really supposed to.

After that we were back up on the post-natal ward and I was fed same as I'd been for the week I'd been in already. And given the constant cycle of feeding, expressing, then trying to feed the expressed milk, it was a good thing too as it was exhausting and left little time for wandering off to look for food.

lalalalyra · 15/04/2018 16:04

but most people have visitors

Which is only remotely helpful if the baby needs feeding during visiting times...

That's not any defence of the policy at all. If the hospital require the parent to go and get food then they should be ensuring that there are staff available to feed the child if they need fed in that time.

As it is there's barely enough staff for the medical needs, or to console them if they get upset at being left alone, therefore it makes sense to keep the parent on the ward and give them a (cheap) meal regardless of how the child is fed. That's not so hard to understand either surely?

SinkGirl · 15/04/2018 16:06

Having a baby in the children’s ward is an utter nightmare. Shortly after my second twin was discharged from nicu, where he’d been for two months, he developed whooping cough. We spent 11 nights in the HDU - you literally couldn’t leave them, they didn’t have the staff. Even going for a shower was a nightmare and I didn’t even have a bed. After months in nicu it was a major shocks to me.

They did only feed bf mums, and formula was provided.

lalalalyra · 15/04/2018 16:08

This is also so very unfair. Can you imagine having to leave a poorly 4 month old because he eats from a bottle rather than a breast.

One hospital tried that with me. DD4 was 15 weeks old, had been blue lighted in, we'd just been given a massive diagnosis that will have lifelong consequences and we were expected to leave her because she didn't 'need' us overnight because she had a bottle (I had to express for her as she just couldn't master bf'ing). They 'bent' the rules to let me stay. Thankfully she goes elsewhere for her more regular stays.

Mrsmadevans · 15/04/2018 16:10

SpaghettiNetty that description is so familiar it must have been good old Nevill Hall Hospital, I worked there for 26 years and loved it . They are a decent crowd there tbf.

QueenofmyPrinces · 15/04/2018 16:12

I work on a paediatric wars for infants aged 0-2 and for the 8 years I’ve been there it’s policy to feed breast feeding mothers. All mothers get breakfast but only BF mothers are offered further meals.

It makes sense seeing as we provide formula for formula fed babies then we should provide nourishment to the breast feeding mothers who need to provide milk for their baby.

The patient is the priority and if the baby is reliant on its mother remaining fed and hydrated in order to produce enough milk then it’s obvious we’d feed the mother.

namechange2222 · 15/04/2018 16:13

Having spent numerous stays in hospitals with DD for 18 years including 13 operations I have never once been provided with food even when I was expressing. I'd never expect it, I'm not the patient and I want the NHS to spend money on the children who are sick not their parents. What is lovely now is that there is often a kitchen area where food can be stored and drinks made that's a god send.
I have through the years wondered though how the staff would cope of parents took three say half hour breaks a day to go and buy and eat food, parents pretty much do all the care for children in hospitals leaving only the clinical care for nurses

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