To say BF Mums shouldn't be getting fed if...

[daydrinker]

IF FF Mums aren't?

My local hospital always feeds the BF mums but leaves the FF ones. They have to sort themselves out.

I've been to the local hospital a good few times now with DS and always asked within an hour if I want food

If overnight stay, I'm fed 3 times a day with biscuits and tea in between. Formula feeding mums aren't offered anything.

AIBU to say this isn't fair?

My milk supply doesn't all of a sudden vanish if I'm hungry.

I would guess not. Because it's about the baby not the Mum in the current policy.

Not saying it should be only about the baby but that is their current stance.

Or perhaps discrimination arising from a disability. I’d need to think it through (and I’m too tired)

It’s still detrimental to the mother isn’t it? Not being fed.

Whenever I had DS I had an emergency c section and when it was lunchtime I asked for some help - was told to go and get it myself. I hadn’t been up yet and couldn’t manage myself so just had to go hungry - are you telling me this was because I was formula feeding!

tictoc - you were the patient then so it doesn't fit with what I and many pps have experienced that they wouldn't have fed you. So I'm tentatively thinking that probably wasn't cos you were ff - either a hospital who didn't feed the patients (odd) or someone not doing what they should have been!

To be fair tictoc I never attempted to breastfeed either of my girls and both times my post natal care (big Scottish hospital) was really excellent.

I suspect your incident was some weird hospital policy or just poor patient care

@Sarahrellyboo1987 I am not saying he NHS should pay!! I am saying that distressed mothers of seriously ill children should be offered the opportunity to pay for the same meals given for free to others so they don’t have to leave their child.

Whilst it would be wonderful if the nhs provided meals for all mums, and carers of children or disabled adults, unfortunately it isn’t a bottomless pit of money.
It’s food for patients only. Therefore breastfed babies can’t be fed by the hospital, the mother is the food source, so feed her and baby is guaranteed their next meal. Harsh, but when there’s limited resources I understand the logic.
I say this as a mother who ff.

this shouldn’t apply to posters saying they weren’t fed in maternity ward, regardless of if you were ff or bf, the mother herself is a patient, not a visitor, so should be looked after regardless of bf or ff.

There should be no division. It's not just about bf or ff it is also about the economic status of the parent/carer (m or f).
Hospital stays can become extremely expensive. Not every hospital has a public canteen either!
A nominal fee for food isn't a bad idea, definitely preferable to leaving your child to seek out food, especially if its off site & bloody expensive!!!!

@Hidethebump not asking for NHS resources. Simply the opportunity for FF mothers to pay for a meal on the ward so they don’t have to leave their critically ill baby.

Odd. My local hospital feed all new mums bf or ff. If you stay in at a later date whilst still breastfeeding though they dont feed any parents bf or ff. I guess every hospital is different.

They feed pregnant women and breastfeeding women for free at my local hospital.

I found this out on a trip to A&E with my ds.
I think it's a lovely thing to do and it recognises that being pregnant or breastfeeding takes its toll on a woman's body and they may need extra support.

It's not shaming anyone. It's recognising female biology.

It’s food for patients only. Therefore breastfed babies can’t be fed by the hospital, the mother is the food source, so feed her and baby is guaranteed their next meal.

Surely it's the above - else they'd end up feeding many more non patients many of who will be finding it very hard with a sick relative.

Everyone in a post- natal ward needs feeding obviously – though I wasn’t fed at all and I was BF – they didn’t fed me after giving birth they said they would give me toast but it didn’t happen.

I had a baby that screamed if put down and I’d been shouted at for that – I’d been to the loo twice – so breakfast in a room babies weren’t allowed didn’t work for me – so didn’t eat till I got out as soon as possible next morning which ended up being just before lunch.

DH had to insist I got water before he’d leave the postnatal ward – past visiting hours when I was sent up – thank god he did and I asked many times for more but got nothing till morning shift came on.

I was breast feeding and on crutches due to severe SPD, had a third degree tear and was on IV antibiotics so couldn't move. In hospital 5 days, wasn't even offered a cup of tea. Luckily my labour snacks lasted me!!

Haven’t RTFT but this is my take.

Al mothers, BF or FF should be fed on a postnatal ward, when they are still effectively ‘patients.’

If your baby is admitted in to hospital onto a ward once you have been discharged from hospital, no mother or father should be fed by the NHS, BF or not. Maybe if you are in A&E and literally cannot leave your child, but not once on the ward.

There simply isn’t the money and it really isn’t fair on those who FF. I read a couple of posts where people said ‘oh but the partner can feed a FF baby a bottle while Mum goes out to get food’ Which is a ridiculous arguement- not everyone has a partner or the partner might need to stay with other children at home. If not, why can’t they go and get a BF Mum Food while she stays with the sick baby? It shouldn’t be one rule for one and one for another. Madness. However there should be a way of mums being able to access food (and pay for it) easily. I don’t know what the answer is there.

Regarding not leaving your sick child, both my kids have been admitted to hospital as young children/babies and I’ve always been able to pop to the nearest shop or cafeteria to grab food/drink. I know this isn’t the case in all hospitals though. And in fact in my local hospital if your child is in HDU which my daughter was, you’re not allowed to sleep there overnight so that’s when I went out to get food.

The NHS is on its knees and providing food for people who are not patients isn’t going to help.

There simply isn’t the money and it really isn’t fair on those who FF

If there isn't the money then fine but because it might hurt someone elses feelings because of their own choices...sod that for a reason, its a terrible one.

i do think it is about funding tbh they aren't heartless and don't want to see parents starving. I saw some parents offered toast who weren't bfing in the morning who looked absolutely awful cause they hadn't eaten for couple of daysbut they weren't supposed to.

It’s not about you. Think about it, you are nourishing a sick child. A ff mum isn’t. It’s nothing to do with shaming ff mums!

The hospitals in my area do the same.

firstworld isn’t op meaning when a child is the patient, not in postnatal.

Also, I’m a single parent and I have no other support. I’ve never been able to leave my child.

I had a few days in hospital with my DD2 when she was a week old. I was BF, but did not get offered any food or drink. DH had to bring me supplies when he came in at visiting hours.

it really isn’t fair on those who FF

I agree that the NHS doesn't always show the sensitivity to FF mothers that it should do. However, in this case I think the policy is justified.

A BF baby's health depends on a well nourished mother. That is not the case for FF babies. And the baby is the NHS's primary concern, not the mother. BF mothers have specific nutritional needs which need to be met to meet their baby's needs.

I agree it would be nice to feed all mothers of sick babies. However, I don't know where you draw the line. Ideally the NHS would feed the primary carer of all critically ill patients. But they don't have the money for that.

Thanks, Sarahrellyboo1987. As I mentioned I didn't read all the thread, but that has clarified the situation. While I agree that bf mum's should be fed first and foremost, food should be offered the ff mums as they also need strength when caring for a sick child.

Well my friend was in hospital in NICU with her Prem baby in Cambridge hospital and was breast feeding (expressing) and had to pay for her own meals....... That was from birth. Even when she was in for two weeks prior to birth she wasn't given anything besides access to a toaster! Not even a cup of tea...

Whilst it's logical in a way, it really doesn't send a good message IMO. Babies who are young enough to require very regular BFing all need a parent to be with them pretty constantly - sending the message that the only thing that parents provide is food is a bit poor.
Plus I can't help thinking it's one of those cases where it's often a false economy - if there are insufficient staff on hand to look after your baby while you go to get food then you're basically asking parents, especially single parents, to starve themselves which is hardly going to benefit the baby when he /she is discharged!
I totally agree that decent quality meals should be available to buy on every ward for people who don't qualify for free hospital meals -this would make a huge difference to so many people trying to do what they can for sick friends and family.