To be inwardly screaming.......

[LuxembergerQueen92]

A woman in my office who often refers to her phone as her moby has just gone to a meeting with her "lappy" (laptop) ...inwardly I am going
aaaaaarghhhhhh.........(it's been a long week).

Frozen leg of lamb, eat the evidence. Or, elastic band office gun and an ice bullet. Do it.

Arrange to swap hits with another Mumsnetter. no one will ever work it out. You can saunter in with a cheery whistle looking all innocent.
Practice looking surprised and a bit sad.

I am practicing my sad/shocked face now at the untimely demise of said co-worker.......

😳 I call it a moby too 😳
‘Lappy’ - definitely give her a slap. 🤪

Only inwardly screaming? You are a much more zen person than me.

Although I did used to sit next to a woman who’d come in every morning and announce ‘only X days until my holibobs!’

It’s been quite day, but this has really made me laugh 😂, thanks OP.

Lappy, blimey what she needs is a slappy

Does she also have a drinky? And of course a biccie?

Holibobs!! Fuck me that's another one she uses.....I definitely have to arrange a hit...

Does she have a hubby as well?

Kill her now. It's the kindest option...

Omg. This sounds just like someone I used to work with. I had to take the day off on her last day because people would have noticed how overjoyed I was that she was leaving... also a fan of booking her "holibobs" in everyone's diarys and abbreviating people's names to an almost offensive level.... underneath the veneer of of jollity she was actually an utter cunt.

And...And...she doesn't approve of swearing! Bollocks to that - if I've had a trying day my language can become a little bit coarse.....

I hope to god she doesn't use "Famalam" for family....

Just call her cuntychops and be done.

Oh god, doesn't like swearing. One of THOSE. Does she also get really passive aggressive? We had one who thought she was the office mum and would tell you off for swearing. She was lazy and useless at her job.

It made me laugh when, out of her team of five, four of the people she managed quit within a month of each other.

Spready for a spreadsheet. ... new one i learnt today 😕

what she needs is a slappy

I'd go for the ice bullet, you just need an alibi.

Moby... haven't used that term since the turn of this fucked up century. How very '99!
Lappy? She just signed her own death warrant, right there.
A big slappy for lappy.
Moby is cringe enough on its own.

don't start a thread about swearing in the office, there was one about a complaint made against a shouty swearer, that turned pretty nasty pretty quickly!

@minions that is the worst one yet. Who wants to give spreadsheets a nickname?

My cousin (let's call him bob) had a girlfriend who referred to his parents as 'mummy bob bob' and 'daddy bob bob'. His sister was guess who... 'sister bob bob'

She was in her 30s.

She is actually quite passive aggressive....... does indeed have a hubby but no children...her cats are her babies..........

I used to work with someone who called their phone a 'mobbelly-bobbelly'.

Remember not to make an appeal on Crimewatch, they are usually the one wot done it.

One of my contacts at work used to call a spreadsheet 'a spreadie'. It literally gave me the rage!

If she goes away to Florida is it on "Floribobs" arghhhhhhhh... and does she have to leave her "fur babies" behind...

because if so, I know her too!!!