To be inwardly screaming.......

[LuxembergerQueen92]

A woman in my office who often refers to her phone as her moby has just gone to a meeting with her "lappy" (laptop) ...inwardly I am going
aaaaaarghhhhhh.........(it's been a long week).

I have a terrible, terrible habit of saying something like Hollibobs or some sickly sweet name for my DP as a joke, precisely because it is so irritating. Then to my horror, it sticks and somehow comes out of my mouth in a normal conversation. Someone please do the right thing and put me out of my misery now.

Thankfully this usually only happens in front of my partner rather than out in public. He just gives me a withering look until I crawl away.

Aw you’re all sooo miaow!

I want to recruit a hollibobbing, hubbying, Moby, uni, Barbie Army to infiltrate all your offices till you disappear into your own catsbum faces

Not sure I could bring myself to actually say those words though.

Balloon, the baby voiced one needs eliminating now. Pm me.

Cheerybubbles!!!

No discussion needed - they all need eliminating. It's a mute point

Don’t some women wear ‘lippy’? The first time I heard that I had to be held back.

My ex used to refer to chewing gum as "chuddy", the TV remote as "the buzzer" and various other nonsensical terms. Note the use of the word "ex".....

"Enhance" your vocabulary so every word gets a twee extension, even more OTT and bamboozling. I'm officialliatiots offallybobs onmi hollidibollibobs, wheresaboutibsidotsobobs are you offalybobs on yoursidobidots hollydijollidibobs? Practice until you can say it really fast, then try it in the office

This thread is giving me such rage.

I'm going to have to stop reading i think.

OP - @ mention me when you get back if you want to discuss plans for the hit.

I know someone who signs off every text, WhatsApp and email with "oodles".

Wtf is that even supposed to mean?!

My highly intelligent and importantly employed DSis has a baby voice and asks for a 'liddle' bit of time etc......gives me the rage

But then we also say goodbye to each other by saying 'Bip Bop' and prodding each others noses so I suppose I can't really talk.

Oh she doesn't have cats, surely? They are fur-babies, aren't they

@Laurel543, up against the wall please...

I often wonder with threads like these if some sort of freak accident was to happen to the person in question, then these threads could be looked at for evidence of a planned crime and OP arrested - I clearly have an overactive imagination

But.. yanbu...

I see your lappy rage and raise you anyone who says or writes ‘hun’!

Lappy?! I've heard it all now wtf

**She will correct you, but you can be confused or patronising as you prefer and say 'I don't think you did mean that, because that's not a real word, is it?'

I'm imagining this being delivered with an ice cold stare while idly twirling a knife on the table!

Ugh...bold fail...

Doesn't every office has one of these, usually called Debbie?

I came across one adult speaking to another adult who used ...ickle for little ...
Can I add her to the hit list.

Look can't we invite them all to the same place and then have an unfortunate accident involving a crane dropping a grand piano from a great height?

Oodles = contraction of 'toodles' which is a contraction of 'toodle-pip'.

Our office offender has just gone off on her holibobs in the sunny wunny. (I wish I was joking)

You've met me then Teachtolive.

I feel a sudden urge to hug all my colleagues tomorrow - none of them would tolerate that kind of language. The occasional ffs is acceptable but holibobs, mobby, lappy would definitely raise eye brows. Hurray for mostly normal colleagues with quirks that don't make me want to kill them!

I had a colleague who ‘a-rooney’d everything.

Cling-arooney- cling film
Foil-arooney- Tin foil
Spoon-arooney
Fork-arooney

FUCK OFF ALREADY!

Luckily she was my replacement so I was only with her for a week.

Fucking arooney smh

Which has just reminded me of the time that I made a car salesman stammer and blush with just one coldly delivered phrase and an icy stare. (He had said my grand-daughter was very cute. I gave an icy stare for a good 5 seconds, and said slowly 'My daughter'.) I had always thought car salesmen were incredibly self-assured and thick-skinned.