To be inwardly screaming.......

[LuxembergerQueen92]

A woman in my office who often refers to her phone as her moby has just gone to a meeting with her "lappy" (laptop) ...inwardly I am going
aaaaaarghhhhhh.........(it's been a long week).

I hate swearing too....not sure what one of THOSE means?

It’s not just me! Off to triumphantly show this thread to DH who thinks I’m a grumpy old bint for getting the rage over these things. He refers to his personal phone (as opposed to his work one) as his persy , and his many sisters and Mum do the ickle thing, plus “choc” for chocolate etc etc. His mum also refers to him as “Lovely” as a term of endearment and also uses “lovely” as an adjective. Think “Alright Lovely? That’s lovely, Lovely.” Makes me nauseous.

On another thread I have just seen ...... hubs. And not the thing you have on car wheels. As in, a short form of hubby.

Pass the gin.

I share the rage here, EXCEPT from Scousers. They and only they are allowed to say moby, lappy etc.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar I think you might be my inner self!

hubby? are you certain its not "the hubster"

YANBU - also, I think everyone on this thread would get on v. well with everyone on this other thread

Soooooo (soooo typed in defiance of another thread ), does Scotland Yard consider the use of nonsensical words as a motive in murder cases?

My mum does this. It drives me potty. My personal favourite? Voucher is 'vouch'. Just say the damn word!!

I have my husband's number saved in my contacts as hubby......

minnie tell him nothing makes your fanjo snap shut more quickly than language like.
Deeply unattractive.
I can sense mine recoiling just reading about it.

Language like that.

Mornin' all.....Soupforbrains...I am calling on your services for a hit...I need an SAS/Ninja type assassin....Modus Operandi to be (whispers)Death by Post-it-Note. I came into the office early to find aforementioned note stuck to my pc screen - fluorescent bloomin orange it was too, just in case I didn't notice it.....written upon it were the words "Hi Queen, you must have left early as there was no-one around when I cam out of the meeting, I wonder if you cld finish the blah blah blah as I didn't have time. That wld be great..Fanx x
Fanx?? FANX??????????????? I'll bloody fanx you my friend....I now have to practice my DailyMail sad/innocent face whilst pointing at the office carpet whereupon they shall find her body...mwahhahha...

Fanx...in writing...there's not a court in the land would convict you.

Queen say no more...

disappears into the shadows and goes to research how to sharpen a post-it note

Soup - I have been giving this a lot of thought this morning (instead of working!) do you think a Goldfinger type death would be plausible - you know when they covered the body in gold paint and caused asphyxiation - only using post it notes instead as I can't afford gold paint.

Oh lordy she is terminaly ridiculous.

Can i enlist hit women on mn for a work colleague who slips in and out of an appalling loud false american voice? They are not teens copying a fav singer/film star they are an adult woman 'drawling' like some stereotype 'red neck' cos they think its so cute and makes them so cool.

Arghhhhh no its not and no it doesnt and its making my ears bleed.

do you think a Goldfinger type death would be plausible - you know when they covered the body in gold paint and caused asphyxiation - only using post it notes instead as I can't afford gold paint

Yes you can - and say the postie did it.

-{ searches internet for industrial quantities of post it notes}

I bet she calls people Hun.

Could she not meet her demise by numerous paper cuts from said post it notes?

Thankfully don't work with annoying colleague anymore - but she used to sit on your desk swinging her legs and use words like luffly, luvvy- wuvvy.

I used to work with someone who called everyone 'petal'. She was the most false, insincere women ever.
Also worked with someone who was always on about taking her kids to see the animals in the 'azoo' and her son's favourite 'aluminous' jacket. She was the same woman that always wanted to 'axe you a question'

She calls people Hun - really I'd be doing her a kindness wouldn't I?

I can provide the post-its I'm in charge of my office stationery supplies.

Do you want a long tortuous death of suffering? In which case I advocate death by paper-cuts (from fluorescent orange post-its, obviously),

A symbolic death? In which case the suffercation through restrictive mumification in post-its is an option

or a quiet and inconspicuous death? In which case I'll need more time as I'm currently working on some sort of vague plan to do with poison/neuro-toxins on her post-its that will kill her through gradual accumulation rather than sudden overdose, but i need to work out the kinks.

ARGH! I'm now screaming at my own hideous typo/spelling error. SUFFOCATION, I meant, obviously.