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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not be ‘Mum’?

134 replies

springrains · 11/03/2018 09:59

I am primarily called by my first name by my kids.

I quite like it but others seem to find it shocking and as if I’m trying to be ‘cool’. (I’m not!)

Is anyone else not ‘Mum’?

OP posts:
TabbyMumz · 11/03/2018 10:06

No. I'm interested to know why you encouraged that? What's the background? How do your children feel about that?

aprilanne · 11/03/2018 10:07

it just seems strange i like the feeling of being called mum even by my adult children .would hate to called so and so

stickyice · 11/03/2018 10:08

Hi my young children have always called me by my name - sometimes it is mummy but mostly it is "sticky ice".

I have never ever really thought about it to be honest.

I don't know why they do it or what it means. SmileSmile

TheSnowFairy · 11/03/2018 10:08

You only get one Mum, why would you not love to be called that name?

DS' friend's mum does this. Most odd.

TenancyTroublesAgain · 11/03/2018 10:09

I hate this.

LaContessaDiPlump · 11/03/2018 10:10

Our eldest used to call me by my first name and DH by his. A lot of people seemed to disapprove! He grew out of it....

namastayinbed · 11/03/2018 10:10

I find it hard to give any fucks about what other children call their parents.

NotTakenUsername · 11/03/2018 10:12

Dd went through this phase. I’m now back to mum or mummy and although I didn’t make a drama about it I’m glad that phase is over.

I am her mum!

theymademejoin · 11/03/2018 10:13

Mine all went through a phase of calling us by our names. They grew out of it and now call us mam and dad. I didn't care either way what they called me so long as they were polite and respectful.

Grainfail · 11/03/2018 10:14

I used to call my parents by their first names. They didn't encourage it as far as I remember but I know my Mam liked it. My older brothers did for a short time, then bullied me about it when they stopped. I call them both Mam and Dad since I was about 10.

My daughter used to call DH by his first name - likely because I didn't call him daddy. He hated it so now I call him daddy to her. I love when she calls me by my first name but she only rarely does it and I don't encourage either one.

Additionally we're living in the UK and I have an Irish name that most people here haven't got the ear for saying quite right - I'd like her to be used to saying it correctly but feel I'm losing that battle Smile

EllieMentry · 11/03/2018 10:14

My best friend's children call her by her name. She called her own mother by her name. She says she doesn't want to be called 'Mum' as it would be like calling her children 'Son' and 'Daughter'.

I see it differently, and love being called 'Mum', as my children are the only people in the world who can call me that.

There's no right or wrong about it – each to their own!

BlueSkyBurningBright · 11/03/2018 10:14

I always called my father by his first name and my mother was and still is Mummy. People thought that was a bit odd, and in my teens I think a few of his work colleagues thought I was his date when I turned up to meet him for lunch.

I have never minded what my kids call me, occasionally they will use my name but usually I am Mum.

People have some funny ideas about names and labels. I hate being called Aunty BlueSky, and have asked my siblings kids to just call me by my name. Some see this as a rejection of the relationship, which I think is nonsense. Maybe others see kids calling their parents by their name instead of Mum or Dad as a lack of respect for the parent, or rejection of the parent bond.

Brokenbiscuit · 11/03/2018 10:17

As long as you're happy with what your kids call you, it doesn't matter a jot what anyone else might think. The names are not important, it's the quality of your relationship that matters.

That said, I love being called mum/mummy and wouldn't want it any other way.

HolyMountain · 11/03/2018 10:18

If you and your kids are happy with it , go for it.

When I was a student many moons ago I did a placement with a fairly posh and highly educated couple who let their children call them by their Christian names, I did find it a bit odd at the time I must admit.

CatsForgotPassword · 11/03/2018 10:20

Mine doesn’t call me anything. Just finds me and asks for something. He has called me by my first name before. I don’t mind. I’m his mum either way.

wakemeupbefore · 11/03/2018 10:20

Of course I'm not 'Mum', Hmm, I am and will always be 'Mummy'.

Goldfishshoals · 11/03/2018 10:21

I have a friend who prefers to be called their name as they see 'dad' as a job title.

I like being called 'mama' instead of my name because I see it as an endearment.

The same words have different meanings to different people. Do what you will, and let others choose for themselves.

CatsForgotPassword · 11/03/2018 10:22

I also hate “Aunty”. Call me Cats ffs. I also hate “Ms Surname”. Anything other than Cats, unless it’s from my kids, is a no.

HolyMountain · 11/03/2018 10:24

Yy to not being Aunty , I've always insisted on being Holy.

MarshaBradyo · 11/03/2018 10:31

I’d hate this, I’m still mummy and intend to be for as long as I can (ie not mum)

I suppose it’s hard to know if your dc prefer it as they’ve always called you by first name?

springrains · 11/03/2018 10:32

I don’t think I encouraged it exactly, it just sort of happened Grin

But some of the above comments re it being odd are also ones I’ve heard in RL.

OP posts:
springrains · 11/03/2018 10:32

They’ve dipped in and out of both Marsha

I’m ‘mummy’ when somebody wants something Grin

OP posts:
OliviaPopeRules · 11/03/2018 10:34

I think so whatever suits but it does grate on me when I get adults say Mummy and Daddy to their parents!!

OliviaPopeRules · 11/03/2018 10:34

Get = hear

childmindingmumof3 · 11/03/2018 10:34

Mine go through phases of it too. DC1 called me by my first name for ages and now mostly says mum.
DC2 calls me mum to my face but Claire to other people.
I don't have a preference really!