To not be ‘Mum’?

[springrains]

I am primarily called by my first name by my kids.

I quite like it but others seem to find it shocking and as if I’m trying to be ‘cool’. (I’m not!)

Is anyone else not ‘Mum’?

I want to be called by my name, it's my name. I don't particularly like 'mum', it's not a nice sound to my ears. DC doesn't call me anything yet so we'll see what he wants to do.

Had FIL telling me that children who call their parents by their first names don't encourage respect and obedience in their children

Of course, Cardibach; what I find irritating is that in Ireland most of us grew up with Mammy, Mam and Mamaí, but Mum and the very sickly (to my ears) Mummy are becoming ubiquitous now.

Yy to not being Aunty , I've always insisted on being Holy.
Holy Mother maybe?

I knew a girl who used her parents names, rather than 'dad' and 'mum'. The emotional load that we imbue 'mum' with was the same emotional load that she had for her mum's name. It's a different label but the same stuff inside. In that woman's case, and probably everyone's, her mum's name was special when it was being used to refer to her mum, and did not contain the same load when used in other contexts, as if the name were two completelyones.

I am "mama"

My kids are very English, but that is the one thing they kept from my culture

I have a friend who has always been called her name by her DC. Fine, that's up to her.

I have always been Mum, or Mummy, or sometimes even Mother. My friends call me by my name, I have many friends. My children have many friends that they can call by their names, but they only have one Mum!

My 9 year old calls me and Dh by our first names and has done since he was about 2. It just happened. I have no issues with it. I like it now. I think people who suck their teeth over it are ridiculous. My child is extremely respectful and very well behaved. He wouldn't dare be otherwise because I'd go through him for a shortcut.

"He wouldn't dare be otherwise because I'd go through him for a shortcut."

What does that mean exactly?

I see the names Mum/Mummy/Mom/Mam as endearments. I've been quite surprised reading this thread to her people referring to it as a label, as a title, as a term that defines them in a limited way. That seems like such a odd way to see it but if that's the way you feel about it, I understand why you wouldn't want your kids to call you any of those.

About "we don't call our kids "Son" or "Daughter". Many people absolutely do, again in the form of endearments. "Baby", "My Girl/Boy", etc. My family used to joke that DD was going to think her name was "Baby Girl" because she was called that more than her name in her first few years.

I called mine mammy and daddy until the day they died, when I was 38. My grown up children mostly say mum, sometimes mammy and occasionally my son says maw to wind me up!

I would hate them to use my first name.

I used to call my dad by his first name and used various nicknames for both my parents. My siblings and I rarely get called by our actual names either though. It’s always nicknames.

My children, the grownup ones and the not so grown all call me by their own endearments (different ones) that have evolved throughout thier lives. I do have some empathy for the lack of identity, the fact that healthcare providers, school teachers and other professionals seem to use "Mum" as an address. When you hear "muuuuuuum!" For the gazillionth time that day, it can be exhausting. Long time ago I told my eldest I was changing my name, in jest...we were laughing about it before anyone reads anything sinister into it and he came up with his 'new' name for me which stuck. Raising children can and is a largely thankless and life consuming task in the begining. Ive been raising kids of various ages for over 25 years and still have another 11 years until all mine reach adulthood. Its both my greatest achievement and the cause of my darkest days.

I may be their mother, and always will be but its what I am - not who I am. I wouldnt want to be called Strategic Planning Manager at work... or any of the other titles I hold so I fail to see why "mum" is so important. I think it's good for children to know I have a life beyond being at their beck and call, yet no matter what else is going on... as their mum they will always come first for me.

DS calls me mamma but mainly when we're on our own - otherwise it's mum.

I wouldn't mind if he called me Anne but he only does it to get my attention after muuuuuuuuuum has failed to elicit the response he wants.

I take my toddler to a class and the lady who runs it brought her child once and they kept referring to her by her first name...I assumed the child was her step child. Until later she said child was hers.

I think you call your parents Mum and Dad.

I have a 2yo and being called Mum hasn't grown on me at all. Don't really feel anything when I receive gifts with the word 'Mum' on.

My DH calls his parents by their names, I think its very odd but then PIL are very strange.

When we had our own DCs MIL tried to get them to call them by their names too, then when I made it clear no forking way is that happening she tried to make up 'fun' combos of gran/grandad and their actual names. No way I was letting that happen either. Now they're granny and grandpa and we're mama and papa.

I’m mum, but my DB’s and I call our parents by their first names.

I don't know anyone who calls their parents by their first names. I wouldn't dream of calling my mum by her first name. But it's all down to individual choice.

I LOVE being Auntie Redglitter. Again my nieces wouldn't dream of dropping the Auntie bit

I’m a Mama. But it’s just a name. Sometimes she calls me Mama Poopoopants, doesn’t mean she loves me any less. I suspect it would be the same if she called me by my name.

As for If anything its even more respectful if that makes sense. Respect should be earnt and not be demanded. Not least by insisting you have to be called by a particular name.

I take my toddler to a class and the lady who runs it brought her child once and they kept referring to her by her first name...I assumed the child was her step child. Until later she said child was hers.

That's a good point, you can't get arsey if people assume you aren't the child's parent and think you're the step parent or babysitter.

I know a few people like this.

I haven't called my dad 'dad' for years, I calll him by his first name.

It's whatever makes you comfortable.

That's a good point, you can't get arsey if people assume you aren't the child's parent and think you're the step parent or babysitter.

Why would someone get arsey over a simple misunderstanding like that?

I LOVE being Auntie Redglitter. Again my nieces wouldn't dream of dropping the Auntie bit

How old are they? Mine called me auntie limon when they were very little and learning to talk but once they hit five or so they dropped the auntie bit and just called me by my name. Which is fine and makes sense, I don't go round calling them 'nephew James' 😂

Many mumsnet thread posted where the poster is annoyed they were assumed to not be mum but nan or babysitter. Which is fine, but not if you happen to be called Susan instead of mum.

What do people with two mums do generally? "Mum" and "Mummy"?

One of the gah couples I know, their kids do use mum and mummy. The other just 'mummy' and if there's any doubt which one they mean, for example if they're both in the same room, 'mummy laura' and 'mummy Ellie'.