Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Getting flamed on here

128 replies

chickinlikin · 25/02/2018 18:58

Has anyone put up a post and gotten upset when they have been flamed by people on here? Do you take it to heart?

OP posts:
LondonHereICome · 25/02/2018 19:05

No. You can't take it to heart

But the most innocuous of threads can end up with the op being flames and then flouncing! It's rather odd

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/02/2018 19:05

I think Aibu is best avoided if you're particularly sensitive. This is a world wide site and there are people out there who do not give a shit about the feelings of others or don't realise that behind every comment and thread is a real person or if you 100% don't think YABU. It's seen as quite rude on here to ask if yabu. You get told yabu and then you piss and moaning. If you're told you're being u after asking The ettiquite is to accept it gratefully.

venellopevonschweetz · 25/02/2018 19:07

MN is a whole other universe away from real life, you shouldn't take anything to heart on here!!

I've been called stupid just because I had a different opinion to another poster, as someone with a masters level qualification this made me chuckle Grin

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 25/02/2018 19:08

You learn to grow a thick skin if you want to be an active member . Well if you post on Aibu anyway.

LondonHereICome · 25/02/2018 19:09

Yes you're right ven it is like s whole different universe here!

yawning801 · 25/02/2018 19:10

I was the OP of the decidedly unpopular keeping-trans-threads-to-feminism thread a couple of days ago. I knew that I would get told that IABU at some point but hadn't expected it to descend into such chaos so soon! However I was prepared, and I think you have to be when posting something potentially goady, especially on AIBU.

IHaveBrilloHair · 25/02/2018 19:11

I once got flamed for not going to Dd's school concert, I explained it would take 2hrs.
I was told I was a terrible person for not taking 10 minutes to attend and Dd was probably used to being let down by me.
It was 11yrs ago and I still chuckle about it now.

KellyBailey · 25/02/2018 19:12

I did once, years ago, did a proper flounce and everything after two posters in particular were nasty to me over something fairly mundane I posted in AIBU. I got a grip, came back and got stuck back in with a thicker skin. I've learned not to waste time arguing with goady fuckers though.

fairgame84 · 25/02/2018 19:13

I got flamed a few years ago and my thread wasn't even on aibu.
According to MN my SIL hates me. She doesn't btw.

ConciseandNice · 25/02/2018 19:13

venellopevonschweetz you make me laugh. I’ve got a masters degree, a law degree, I speak five languages and bake a great batch of scones. I am still occasionally ‘stupid’.

Some of the daftest people I ever met with very questionable opinions were ones with higher degrees.

BlueMirror · 25/02/2018 19:15

Nah I just leave the thread. Some posters don’t read what is written and fill in the gaps with their own narrative so they’re arguing with themselves basically. No point getting worked up over it.

dontbesillyhenry · 25/02/2018 19:16

Can't anyone with a masters be stupid? 🤔

FlibbertyGiblets · 25/02/2018 19:16

I've had a light toasting once or twice, deservedly so tbh. Mostly about being flip. Don't be flippant if it is a Serious Isshoe, learn from me.

Grin
EduCated · 25/02/2018 19:17

Perhaps not a full on ‘flaming’, but I did get told I was being thoroughly unreasonable on a thread I started. It was actually very helpful and gave me some much needed perspective before I said/did some things in RL that I undoubtedly would have regretted, even if it was hard to take at the time!

Aridane · 25/02/2018 19:18

I would never dare start a thread in AIBU

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 25/02/2018 19:19

I wouldn't take it to heart. People don't have to agree with me that doesn't make my opinions wrong Wink

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 25/02/2018 19:20

I got a thoroughly deserved bollocking in my early days. Taught me not to mansplain.

MirriVan · 25/02/2018 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

APontypandyPioneer · 25/02/2018 19:21

If you ask if AIBU, you must be prepared for the fact that you may be told YABU and may be told it in no uncertain terms.

It can't be taken to heart. It's opinions, views, everyone has them, everyone has a reason behind why they feel that way. Everyone likes to think they are right and there ensues the passionate debate Wink

Arapaima · 25/02/2018 19:22

I’ve been mildly flamed in the past on AIBU (under a different name), and I was surprised how upsetting it was. It’s really hard not to take things personally.

Corblimeyguv · 25/02/2018 19:23

I got flamed under a different name. It was a very difficult post about a very personal issue. I was new to MN and hadn’t prepared myself, and I didn’t explain myself very well.

Totally took it to heart BUT at the same time realised that I had actually been unreasonable. A brutal experience, but one I needed.

Xulishesthepilot · 25/02/2018 19:23

I haven't been flamed on any thread I've started, but I was once called a lot of nasty names on Reddit for my posts on a fairly innocuous thread on here.

I think it's better to put yourself out there and to get shot down than to sit on the sidelines myself, so I don't mind the usual odd negative reaction.

athingthateveryoneneeds · 25/02/2018 19:26

I generally keep my AIBUs to myself; it's safer that way!!

SteamyBeignets · 25/02/2018 19:27

AIBU makes me realize there are a lot of women with chip on their shoulders and calling people whose opinions they disagree with cunt apparently makes them feel a bit better.

Oops is that goady? Grin

TheButterflyOfTheStorms · 25/02/2018 19:28

Rite of passage.

Name-changed and came back!