Getting flamed on here

[chickinlikin]

Has anyone put up a post and gotten upset when they have been flamed by people on here? Do you take it to heart?

I was flamed, I followed Mumsnet advice and changed my behaviour. The neighbours have now started doing what they were extremely rude to me about doing and have become odder and odder with every encounter.
Once the first 10 or so posters have gone against you there is no looking back.
It has taught me to trust my convictions and instincts rather than the opinions of random people on the internet who, no matter how much you try to explain you individual situation, can't really have a grasp of the intonation or mannerisms you observe in real life.

Who is MN Royalty? Names that are well known? Or what is the criteria?

There isn't any MN royalty imo (buggered if I can think of anyone)

I'm getting panned at the moment and yes it stings a little

Bears - there are some horrible people on your thread. I think you're handled their vile comments incredibly graciously (not that they deserve it).

I did once, turns out 99% of mumsnet love benefit cheats. I know I wasn’t BU. I left the thread and grew a pair! I didn’t report the person in the end. But someone must have as 12 months later they caught up with them and they are now in the shit.

Years ago I posted something (not on AIBU) and I got flamed. But it gave me the reality check I needed to sort my life out. Sometimes people on MN are cruel but kind!

There's quite often a pattern with threads where the OP is getting flamed. Especially if it's a fairly trivial subject.

It quickly escalates with posters piling on, each one more offended or outraged, then it moves to jostling to think of the most witty or scathing remark. If the op sticks with it, a caped crusader usually pops up to tell posters they're mean

It quietens a bit and then a few more agree with caped crusader and a few flowers or bits of cake are offered.
OP might concede that she is a bit unreasonable and everyone gets bored and wanders off.

Good synopsis ILostIt

I am that caped crusader!

Ah you're the one that keeps flying onto threads and rescuing OPs from the evil mumsnetters!

Careful, someone will say they find spandex unacceptable in the forum

There's been many a time I've typed out a post then thought better than to post it, because of the reaction it might get. I'm a scaredy cat, I know.

I did in the early days - think it was a parking thread and I was young an naive!!

I remember getting quite shaky when I read the posts and then not coming back to MN for quite some time. Now I'm all old and jaded and I actually quite enjoy a bit of lively interaction!

Posted in AIBU once and at one point it was sbout 50-1 yes YABU ( I wasn’t!). Ah, you posted in the wrong section - you want to be in IANBU

I may have been the mum who treated a visiting child with nits without telling her !
I got properly flamed.
Still not sorry

just not nice when you are telling a story and someone says you are lying I don't like that

I do find it bizarre though when people come on AIBU and then completely loose their shit when 99% of people say they are being unreasonable and start hurling abuse at the people that replied. If you're not prepared to hear people tell you that you are being unreasonable you need to steer clear of AIBU!

MyRelationshipIsWeird I like the idea of IANBU. MN needs to set that section up so we can gently herd people in that direction when they can't cope with the answer they are given.

Only when I first started. Not for years now. Decent posters who I respect and like on here wouldn't join in with nasty roastings anyway. It's expected that you'll get a little toasted on here but the threads where there are tons of insults or negativity already but people just keep joining in to get their dig in are weird. I like to think I speak frankly but I don't think I have ever contributed to a full scale in progress kicking of an OP just so I can say something nasty too.

MsGameandWatching but the threads where there are tons of insults or negativity already but people just keep joining in to get their dig in are weird.

I agree. I don't think they do it necessarily to berate the poster even more though. I think it is says more about them. I think they do it to show the world, well mumsnet, that they are x or y they come across an opinion they think sounds "good". They want to be seen as that also IYSWIM.

Well my formatting went to pot in that post!

MsGameandWatching

"but the threads where there are tons of insults or negativity already but people just keep joining in to get their dig in are weird."

I agree. I don't think they do it necessarily to berate the poster even more though. I think it is says more about them.

I think they do it to show the world, well mumsnet, that they are x or y when they come across an opinion they think sounds "good". They want to be seen as that also IYSWIM.

Oh yes. I have been flamed occasionally, although never on threads I have started (I don't start many anyway).

I once had a pile of twats insisting that because DH and I have been happily married for nearly 25 years and do not date other people we must actually be in a mutually abusive relationship. All total bollocks.

I always don my rhino hide before posting anything. It is why I am still around and couldn't care less what any of the twats think of me.

I have had great support too though to counteract it, especially over last Christmas when my lovely old cat was very ill and dying.

I was flames horribly once under my first user name.

I was 22, 2 weeks postpartum and really finding it hard, then my partner went back to work.
I was only asking for advice when I got the responses..

'You should be the one going back to work full time'
'Your partner is abusive going back to work and leaving you at home to do all the work'
'You should man up'
'You have mental health issues'
'You aren't stable to look after your baby if you feel like this'

I had to hide the tread. It made me feel awful.