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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by wedding date?

147 replies

Jeangenie87 · 17/02/2018 19:13

Friend (not particularly close friend) has booked her wedding for 28th December this year. AIBU in being annoyed at people who book weddings over Christmas and new year? It means we can’t go up north for the holidays to visit my family like we usually would, so ruins the whole holidays for us. It seems quite selfish to me to expect everyone else (and it’s going to be a big wedding so lots of people are invited) to want to celebrate their day bang in the middle of the Christmas period when most people would have plans?

OP posts:
Whocansay · 17/02/2018 19:14

So, don't go?

Shalva1970 · 17/02/2018 19:15

Maybe she wants a small wedding and is hoping people don’t come?
What would she think if you didn’t change your plans?
I’d feel the same as you though. Horrible time of year to get married.

LovingLola · 17/02/2018 19:15

It's an invitation.
You can say No if you would rather not go.

Eliza9917 · 17/02/2018 19:15

Just decline the invitation if its such an inconvenience.

CheekyRedhead · 17/02/2018 19:15

Don't go then Hmm

kimlo · 17/02/2018 19:15

just go and visit your family. You don't have to go to the wedding of a not very close friend.

WelshBay · 17/02/2018 19:15

YABU - Maybe it's the only time of the year all their family has time off or are all in the same country. It's their choice. You don't have to go.

shoofly · 17/02/2018 19:15

It's an invitation not a summons. Maybe they thought people might already be off over the Christmas period and wouldn't have to use another day of annual leave?

PurpleRobe · 17/02/2018 19:16

Don't go

BIWI · 17/02/2018 19:16

If it's not a particularly close friend then just don't go.

But, you know, Christmas comes every year. You can do what you usually do next year - why not be happy for your friend and go and celebrate their one-off?

PizzaPower · 17/02/2018 19:16

To quote the Mumsnet classic, it is an invite not a demand. Decline and celebrate Christmas how you want.
But yes people are selfish not thinking of others.

DannyLaRuesBestFrock · 17/02/2018 19:16

Don't go. Simple.

GreyHare · 17/02/2018 19:16

Errmm no one is forcing you to go, if she's not that close then continue with your normal plans, no need to get annoyed by it, sheesh.

SchoolMoney · 17/02/2018 19:16

Don't go then. Most people who do this it's because they have relatives they really want at the wedding living far away so want to combine/not have the journey be for just a wedding.

acornwood · 17/02/2018 19:16

I got married in 28th Dec 22 years ago. A very small wedding no one is forcing you to go. And no I'm not selfish I married the love of my life Hth

SweetMoon · 17/02/2018 19:17

It's a crap date to plan a wedding on! Just don't go though if it's inconvenient

Callamia · 17/02/2018 19:17

If you already have plans, don’t go.
Or, decide to have a January Christmas with your family. I think there’s too much crammed into Christmas, and I kind of like spreading the joy into miserable January.

ilovesooty · 17/02/2018 19:17

Don't go then. She's not even a very close friend and lots of people don't get extended Christmas breaks enabling them to travel as you do.

MagicFajita · 17/02/2018 19:18

Agree with others. Just don't go.

I had my wedding on a weekday in half term and some couldn't make it. There were no hard feelings.

DramaAlpaca · 17/02/2018 19:18

Friends of mine booked theirs for 28th December because most friends & family were likely to be home then, so it was very considerate actually.

Don't go if it doesn't suit you.

peachypetite · 17/02/2018 19:18

If she's not even a close friend why are you giving it this much thought, creating a thread on the internet?! Just decline.

Fudgesauce · 17/02/2018 19:18

YABU-Your friend has a right to have her wedding whenever she wants. You have a right not to attend. Also not everyone goes away over Christmas, it’s a one off, she isn’t askung for people to take time off over Christmas every year. There will always be reasons that don’t work for people. The wedding is her day, if it conflicts with your Christmas plans send your apologises.

IncyWincyGrownUp · 17/02/2018 19:18

It’ll be a cheap date to have booked in all inevitability.

Don’t go if you don’t want to.

Leeds2 · 17/02/2018 19:19

Could you not go to family as usual, and come home on 27th?

Or not go to the wedding at all, particularly as you say it isn't a close friend?

RespoDad · 17/02/2018 19:20

The sootikins would be to celebrate Christmas early.